Fitting in is hard enough without a sword and leggings.

The winner of the annual hooligan jr. contest.

Thousands of corporate clients received a story, marked "Hold for release - Do not use," from Bloomberg business news wire Wednesday afternoon. The story was the Steve Jobs obituary. The obituary was published "momentarily" after an update from a reporter and was "immediately deleted," Bloomberg said. Details of friends and colleagues of the Apple founder to be contacted by Bloomberg in the event of his death were also published. That story again, Steve Jobs *not* dead at 53.

A Brooklyn couple who were killed in their home last month have proved you can still be bitter after you're dead. They left a bizarre will to unloved family members and people they detested in life. Some choice lines include, "To my brother who I know hopes to be in my will, well, here you are. The sum of zero ($0.00) Dollars, I believe this sum is fitting, as you are probably the most greedy person I know," and "With regard to my estranged family who were never there for myself or my children, but always there for their distorted version of Catholicism, I give and bequeath the sum of $1 each to my" mother, father, two brothers and sister "and request that they donate same to their precious church to whom they had a greater allegiance, than to their first child and sister." The husband also requested that his body be fitted with SCUBA gear "and cast over the side of a vessel into the ocean where my body may rest undisturbed by any person[s] in the deep." Now that is what I call going out in style.

School can be hard when you have to deal with a bully.

Music was different in the '80s.

I wonder how long the average new visitor will stay in this guy's house?

I'm not sure how to score this.

There is an old Japanese proverb that goes, "Better than a thousand days of diligent study is one day with a great teacher." This week's mail is all about teaching. Whether it is about the seriousness of psychic ability, a short history of trolls or explaining how much free time and malice your dad's attorney has, these people just want to impart information. If what they sent me is any indication, they had a lot of sick days. Click on the link below to become enlightened.

I guess you have to watch next week to find out how Muffins got her name and whether or not she likes wet food.

In a response to the school shootings of the past few years, hundreds of colleges have purchased a training program that teaches professors and students to take a more aggressive role when confronted with attackers, including the use of improvised weapons. The program urges you to be ready to respond to a shooter by taking advantage of the inherent strength in numbers and how to use a laptop or a backpack to defend yourself. Domenick Brouillette, who administered the course at Metropolitan Community College, said, "Survivors prepare themselves both mentally and emotionally to do what it takes. It might involve life-threatening risk. You may do something you never thought you were capable of doing." A sword would be nice but a pen will work in a pinch.

His warlock was almost lvl 70.

I actually prefer the Destro pony, with the Dreadnaught ponies coming in a close second.

In addition to providing the world with burgers, cows also keep the rabbit population in check.

Have a happy Beast Child Day everyone.

Dr Sabine Begall and colleagues from the University of Duisburg-Essen have discovered that cows tend to point north. The researchers studied deer in the Czech Republic and looked at thousands of images of cattle on Google Earth. The animals tended to face north when eating or resting. "We conclude that the magnetic field is the only common and most likely factor responsible for the observed alignment," the scientists wrote in an article. I guess cows will become the must-have item for long-distance hikers now. Having an edible compass would come in handy if you get lost.

This explains a lot. I'm just not sure how they explained Quato to him.

Very subtle.

Sure enough. There they are.

It also gets very hot when exposed to heat for an extended period.