It was hard to figure out a way to make this slide worse.

Antonio Vasquez Jr., 21, of Fresno has been arrested in what has to be the weirdest burglary of all time. Antonio broke into a home and rubbed food seasoning over the body of one of two men as they slept. He then used an 8-inch sausage to whack the other man on the face and head before running away. After he fled, the victims discovered the home had been burglarized and that some money was taken. Police had no trouble tracking down the sausage wielding, spice rubbing Antonio because he left his wallet and ID behind. Lt. Ian Burrimond of the Fresno County sheriff's department said, "I tell you, this was one weird case." I'm looking forward to the sausage killer in the next season of Dexter.

It actually runs better now.

There is a zero-tolerance cootie policy on picture day.

Everyone likes to belong to something. Whether it be for fun, a sense of belonging, or a need for attention, a group gives you a feeling of solidarity. Surrounding yourself with people that share common goals and ideas can be comforting. Sometimes however, you realize that you hate the people you've surrounded yourself with. Your religion doesn't allow you to read anything that has profanity or you've subscribed to Slashdot thinking you could learn more about hockey. This week's collection is composed of people who don't want to play, read, or be associated with us anymore. Read below to find out how bad they want out.

It's hard for Ji Feng, vice principal of Zhiyuan Foreign Language Elementary School, to be humble. Ji is so handsome and well liked by his students that he has started offering signed pictures of himself to encourage hard work. "I came up with the idea of giving them my signed pictures as a reward," he told the Nanjing Morning Post. Adding, "it absolutely is not narcissism, but a way of encouragement. And only the students who perform the best can get such a reward." Things sure are different in China. Here in the US it's the teachers taking pictures of students and there is no reward when the police find out.

Japanese police responded to call from a couple who spotted a corpse while walking their dog. Fifteen officers went to the scene, where they found a woman wrapped in plastic and tightly bound around the neck, midriff and ankles. The woman was left untouched and taken for examination. The crime scene was secured by police. Officials notified the press and dozens of officers were dispatched to try and find witnesses. By mid-afternoon the pathologists office began their examination when it was discovered that the woman was actually a life-sized sex doll. Aren't the police supposed to check for vital signs?

My grandma just gave us schnapps.

58-year-old Val McCabe, had to sue the Box Butte County, Nebraska's Attorney's office in order to get his leg back from prosecutors after he had been shot. McCabe's prosthetic leg had been held because officials wanted to run tests on it and a bullet lodged inside. A judge ordered it returned on Wednesday after determining the prosecutor's office didn't have a leg to stand on.

The government estimates that 1 in 24 teens uses steroids on a regular basis.

The gritty side of the mascot lifestyle.

The most troubling part to me is that I can't see where they keep the toilet paper.

A man nicknamed "Humble Bob" won $2,500 at the inaugural Skyline Chili Spaghetti eat-off by stuffing over 11 pounds of chili into his belly. The feat took Bob around 10 minutes, beating the favored Joey Chestnut, who won this year's July 4 hot dog eating contest at Coney Island. It's estimated that it will take 4-5 days before anyone can safely stand next to Bob without special breathing apparatus.

What do you get the millionaire in your life who has everything? How about the Seabreacher mini-sub. Described as a dolphin-inspired cross between a jet ski and a submarine, the Seabreacher has a top speed of 45mph above the waves and 20mph below them. The two-man £30,000 craft is 15' long and its design makes it self-righting. Strangely, this doesn't come with a laser package.

It's the natural progression of the series.

Robert P. Schwartz has missed his last ten birthday parties. He's missed them because he died on July 25, 1997. The Naples millionaire didn't see why his death should end the party so he put an interesting stipulation in his will. All his relatives 13 or older must attend his parties or they wouldn't get a share of the inheritance. If they miss two consecutive parties, or two within five years, they are out. The Robert P. Schwartz Party Trust is now worth about $7.86 million so relatives can celebrate many more birthdays to come. Every will should have this clause.

Lisandro writes "We all know that Nolans' two takes on the caped avenger were excellent. But ... what if Michael Bay wrote and directed "The Dark Knight"? The guys at Spill.com apparently got hold of a rejected Bay script for the film. This is not something to be missed." Those aren't idea's Michael, they're special effects.

Not even a superhero can defeat time.

Anyone with billions can fight crime. Try doing it on $100.

The good thing about living here is that there is always a place for relatives to sit when they visit.