Norm never liked trees anyway.

An Israeli city is using DNA analysis of dog droppings to reward pet owners who clean up after their pets and punish those who don't. A six-month trial program launched this week, in the city of Petah Tikva, to tackle the dog mess problem in a high tech way. The program asks dog owners to take their pets to a veterinarian, who then swabs its mouth and collects DNA. The city will use the DNA database it is building to match droppings to a dog and identify its owner. Owners who scoop up their dogs' droppings and place them in specially marked bins will be eligible for rewards of pet food coupons and dog toys. Those who leave the poo on the street face fines. I wonder what sin you had to commit in a previous life to find yourself the official dog poop examiner of Petah Tikva, Israel.

A museum curator in China was fired after he glued a broken 2,000 year-old wooden turtle dove back together instead of reporting the damage. Dating from China's Han Dynasty, the antique was broken when it was transported by museum staff to an antique storage cabinet a year ago. Yang Fu, the curator of Wu Wei City Museum, went to the storeroom and glued the broken part back together with ordinary glue. Sounds like someone forgot to make an antique dove insurance payment.

Sheikh Muhammad Munajid claims that Mickey Mouse is "one of Satan's soldiers" and makes everything he touches impure. The sheikh said that under Sharia, both household mice and their cartoon counterparts must be killed. The cleric has held off on condemning other Disney characters until he can figure out, "What the hell is Goofy?"

The owner of the Storchen restaurant, Hans Locher, plans on improving his menu with local specialties such as meat stew and various soups and sauces containing at least 75% breast milk. Mr Locher posted ads this week looking for women donors, who will receive just over three pounds for 14 ounces of their milk. Hans says, "We have all been raised on it. Why should we not include it into our diet? One can cook really delicious things with it. However, it always needs to be mixed with a bit of whipped cream, in order to keep the consistency." The grand unveiling of the new menu is sure to be a noisy occasion with every stray baby in the neighborhood crying and banging on the backdoor.

Most kids just want a pony.

It looks like the Aeron series just got come competition.

It looks like there was some room up front.

Extreme unicyclist, Steve Colligan, plans on getting into the record books by tackling Mount Everest on a unicycle. Colligan has been riding for eight years and specializes in mountain unicycling. He says, "This will be 1,000km of unicycling across five mountain passes over 5,000m high, with the biggest decent in the world, at 4,600m. The route will go via Everest base camp on the Tibetan side. Most the riding will be dirt roads, so I'm taking my distance unicycle, fitted with an off-road tyre. The second part of my trip to the Himalayas will be riding down many 5,000m peaks in Nepal." If successful, Steve will become the odds-on favorite for the coveted Attention Whore of the Year Award.

It'll take more than hurricane Ike to stop hurricane bear from spreading his message of hope.

A study of 6,500 traveling executives says 35 percent of them would choose their PDA over their spouse. The study further revealed that 87 percent bring their devices into the bedroom. "It can actually ruin relationships. People are so focused on their PDAs, they're not focusing on what might be going wrong in their relationships," said Dr. Susan Bartell, a psychologist and relationship expert. I agree. The best thing to do if you're having relationship issues is to text each other openly and honestly.

She has the matching shorts that say "Juicy."

Because girlfriends don't rust.

Since gas has been so expensive, he doesn't go for his usual Sunday afternoon drive anymore.

This guy thought a card with an old picture of him would make a great birthday gift for his dad. What he hadn't counted on was the general level of mischief and meanness that comes with soliciting help in an online forum. The set of pics with the white dots "corrected" kills me.

British airline XL went out of business so abruptly that it left hundreds stranded, including over 260 who were on a runway. "(Airport officials) told us we should go and sleep on the street with our children because we are not their responsibility. I've come here on a packaged holiday and I've paid to go home," an angry passenger said. Eventually some flights were chartered to help the stranded passengers, one of which was flown by Iron Maiden frontman, Bruce Dickinson, because the story wasn't odd enough already. XL customers are lucky that the company didn't go out of business while their planes were in flight.

This is fine until a guy with an X-wing desk comes along and shoots the legs off.

He's the best mechanic in the county and he works for apples.

It's been proven that good looking people earn 12% more than ugly people and beautiful children don't get put in the bin.

After 72-year-old, Andy Lees, was told he had terminal cancer he gave away his £12,000 savings and spent another £6,500 on his funeral. However, a year after his diagnosis, doctors discovered that he is suffering from chronic obstructive pulmonary disease, a lung condition that causes a narrowing of the airways. Andy is very sick but he is not dying. Mr. Lees is now suing the local health authority for the misdiagnosis because he says the mistake has left him penniless. "I couldn't believe it. I gave away my life savings because I didn't think I would need them. We just presumed that the doctor would be right. Now I am broke," he said. On the positive side he won't have to walk five miles one-way to the gravel factory, seven days a week, for 16 hours straight with no break to get his money back.