Their program now includes helmets and food.

At least nobody will open their doors into you down there.

You never know when one will come in handy.

It takes a village to train a ninja.

A man robbed an armored-car guard in Monroe, Washington on Tuesday morning, then fled with the money — down a nearby creek on an inner tube. The inner tube was only part of the master plan. The robber may have also used a Craigslist ad to recruit decoys. About a dozen men showed up near the bank after responding to an ad about road maintenance work. The ad asked that they wear "a Yellow vest, safety goggles, a respirator mask ... and, if possible, a blue shirt," the same outfit the robber was wearing. If only he had asked, "Why so serious?" before he got away.

After his computer was stolen, Jose Caceres used a remote access program to log on every day and watch it being used. The laptop was stolen on Sept. 4, when he left it on top of his car while carrying other things into his home. "It was kind of frustrating because he was mostly using it to watch porn," Caceres said. "I couldn't get any information about him." Last week the thief messed up and registered on a web site with his name and address. Jose alerted the police, who arrested a suspect a few hours later. The moral of the story: never go to a porn site where you have to register.

Monday night for Michelle Allen consisted of dressing in a cow costume, chasing children, and urinating on her neighbor's porch. You know, the usual. When police arrived and told her to go home and stay there, she did what any of us would do — she ran out into traffic. The police promptly arrested her for disorderly conduct. The officer's report notes that she was verbally abusive on the trip to jail and smelled of alcohol. Unlike our office, the police did not speculate on why she was wearing the cow costume.

The city of Eindhoven is awarding credit points to street prostitutes in exchange for good behavior. To earn the points, the prostitutes must be involved in positive activities such as workshops where they can learn skills to equip themselves for other work. Credit points can be used to buy designer clothes and furniture from outlets like the Eindhoven Design Academy and the International School of Design in Cologne. The prostitutes must hurry and use up their credits before Eindhoven's hooker dollar expansion comes out in November and all their credits are wiped.

Probably not the best day to learn how to swim.

They're also harder to feed.

They make such adorable shirts for babies nowadays.

Stipe Cavlovic, 37, got into an argument with another man over an unpaid debt. Soon after the argument started, the man pulled a gun and shot at Stipe and his wife. The bullet ricocheted off Mrs. Cavlovic's cheekbone before becoming caught in Stipe's dentures. "I thought I was dead for sure. I didn't even see the bullet hit my wife. I just saw the flash of the gun's barrel. The next thing I knew was something hit my false tooth and I spat out the hot lead. It hurt like hell but we're both still alive." he told police. I saw Penn and Teller do this in Vegas.

New Jersey officials don't know if the thefts are being committed by religious zealots, people with a flair for the satanic, or college kids who think a '666' sign would look cool in their dorm room, but officials are having a hard time replacing mile marker signs that have the famous number. Joe Orlando, a spokesman for the New Jersey Turnpike Authority, said, "Given the symbolism of the number and the fact that it is obviously done in the middle of night, and in the middle of nowhere, I can safely say that I'm not eager to meet the rocket scientists doing it." It's probably college kids. Who didn't dabble in a little Satanism in college?

Helmet laws are different in Vietnam.

This poncho company isn't kidding when they say, "one size fits all."

He who pulls the keyboard from the desk shall be office manager.

Andrew Lee, 33, challenged his girlfriend's brother to an eating contest to see who could eat the spiciest homemade chili sauce. After eating his tomato-based chili sauce, Andrew suffered intense discomfort and itching. The next morning he was found dead by his girlfriend. An inquest was told that Andrew was in perfect health and had just passed a medical examination at work. Toxicology tests are being conducted to try to establish if he suffered a reaction to the food.

An Italian woman who worked as a part-time judge and lawyer had her identical twin pretend to be her in court when she had two simultaneous cases. The non-lawyer twin acted as a defense attorney and charged clients when her sister was called in to act as judge in another case. The twins are now being sued by former clients, and prosecutors have charged them with fraud. Since one of them is a lawyer, it should be easy to figure out which one is the evil twin.

Forget chocolate and peanut butter, these are the two best things that go great together.

Homework has never been so terrifying.