jemduff writes "So we receive our brand new firewall from CISCO and all goes well with the setup... until we try to upgrade our VPN client and we discovered that the installation CDs from CISCO contain 12 tracks of Mexican music!!? Not too bad if you're into that kind of music ... too bad if you need to get onto your corporate network. How much did those routers cost, again? 5,000,000 pesos?"

A couple in Cambodia who had "finally had enough" of each other have separated and cut their house in half. The wife will remain in the upright half of the house while her husband has dragged his half away to the other side of the village. Vorng Morn, the headman of Cheach village, said, "We tried to persuade them to think clearly before they did this because they had been married for nearly 40 years. But they did not listen." Don't these people know that you are supposed to draw a line down the middle of the house first? You can't skip to the cutting-things-in-half part right away.

Dost thou accept the $5 service fee?

You ever take it off any sweet jumps?

Eye contact is important.

It appears bad plumbing was the cause of wine flowing through taps in dozens of homes during an Italian grape festival, and not divine intervention. As part of the Marino Grape Festival, free wine flows from the main fountain in the town square. Due to a plumbing error, the pipes from the local vineyard which supply the marble fountain were switched to the domestic supply feeding homes. When local residents turned on their taps, out poured wine. I have a recurring dream that is very similar to this, but in this case the town was not subsequently attacked by a 50-foot Selma Hayek.

John and Ann Till, from Petersfield, in Hampshire, spent three months collecting recyclables to pay for their honeymoon flights. The couple earned one reward point, which they converted into BA air miles, for every four items they recycled. In the end, they amassed 36,000 miles. Mr Till, 31, a railways communications manager, said, "We wanted to make our honeymoon special and were trying to think of ways to raise money for it. I saw on the machine that you got a Tesco Clubcard point for every four items you put in. For every 250 points you got 600 British Airways miles. We worked out that it would be possible to turn rubbish into our flights — as long as we had enough."

I bet this kind of thing happens all the time when you work on the bomb squad.

Not everyone gets to be part of an ancient Chinese prophecy.

You'll notice his cigarette is completely dry.

A British school has gotten rid of spelling homework because students find it too "distressing" to learn lists. Headmistress Debbie Marklove says, "We have taken the decision to stop spelling as homework as it is felt that although children may learn them perfectly at home they are often unable to use them in their daily written work. Also many children find this activity unnecessarily distressing." If kids were able to get more words right at home with the parents than in the class room, it could lead to a sense of failure, she said. I wish this kind of thinking would extend into the workplace. I for one, find starting work at 8 a.m. too distressing and would like to start a few hours later but still leave at the same time.

Ida had many wonderful traits but the small mouth really stood out.

His hands are already full.

More than 1,000 people attended this year's Ig Nobel awards, a light-hearted alternative to the Nobel Prizes. Scientists who unlocked the inner secrets of dog fleas, crisps and tangled string swept the show. Handing out awards was William Lipscomb, the 1976 Nobel laureate for chemistry, also doubling Thursday, at the age of 89, as the hero in the "Win-a-Date-With-a-Nobel-Laureate Contest." The prize itself is a plaque that reads, "This Ig Nobel Prize is awarded in the year 2008 to an Ig Nobel Prize Winner, in recognition of the Ig Nobel Prize Winners' Ig Nobel Prize winning achievement." At last I can submit my paper, "Everything is Really Wet, Even Dry Stuff." for peer review.

You know things are rough when this comes up on a jobs list. All you have to do is try a colon cleaning product, keep a photo (or video) diary and a daily written journal about your experiences. You can make $100 for your write-up and photos or $250 for write-up and videos. At last there is someone who will appreciate my collection of short films.

Being in a relationship is not easy, more than half of all first marriages fail in this country. That statistic doesn't improve if you spend most of your time reading your favorite website and not tending to the needs of your family. Instead of asking me to help fix your relationship maybe you should try playing with your kids, talking to your wife, and not staring at a computer screen all day. You should realize that the help link doesn't provide help with your life. It's mostly for getting passwords and stuff. Below you'll find a collection of people that should have reached out to Dr. Phil and not Dr. Sam.

There is a computer under there somewhere.

The dog can't hit anything over 100 yards.

One sign your downtown is getting bad.

With the entry to sub-orbital flight, and even orbital flight, becoming ever so slightly easier, the obvious thought of space porn kicks in. Who wouldn't want to see two or more people going at it like rabbits in a weightless environment (or at least trying to go at it like rabbits in a weightless environment)? Sadly, Virgin Galactic has turned down a $1 million offer to do just that. The offer was made by an unidentified party who was willing to put the money up front to do a space porn movie. Considering that a flight aboard VG costs $200,000 for a two-hour flight, $1 million doesn't seem too bad. Though how much you could actually do and perform in two hours is debatable. And what if one or more of the actors gets sick?