She gets to do what she wants on her special day.

Having your wife pull you around the lake a few times is very relaxing.

An anonymous reader writes "This year's GenCon Charity Auction raised over $17,000 which they intended to donate to Gary Gygax's favorite charity, Christian Children's Fund. However, the charity refused the donation when they learned of its connection to Dungeons & Dragons." It seems to me all they would need to do is cast remove curse or dispel evil and the money would be fine to use.

Lingerie maker Lucia Lorio has caused outrage with her latest creation, a new line of lingerie that comes equipped with a GPS tracking system. Feminists have objected strongly to the new line. "It is outrageous to think that men can buy this, programme it and give it to their partners and then monitor them," said Claudia Burghart, leader of a Berlin feminist group. Lorio counters, "This collection ... is a wink to women and a challenge to men because, even if she gives him the password to her GPS, she can always turn it off." I'm glad I'll finally be able to ask, "Is that a tracking unit under your dress or are you just happy to see me?"

A teenager from Glastonbury has changed his name to, Captain Fantastic Faster Than Superman Spiderman Batman Wolverine Hulk And The Flash Combined. It is thought to be the world's longest name by people who think about such things and is most assuredly among the stupidest. Captain Fantastic said, "I wanted to be unique. I decided upon a theme of superheroes." He added that he thinks his new name is "crazy" and that his grandmother is no longer talking to him.

Atari400 writes "The BBC is reporting on an unfortunate sign-post translation problem. Officials asked for the Welsh translation of a road sign and got a welsh away message as a response. Guess what got printed on the sign?" Has anyone ever found an away message to be useful?

Ladies like the bad boys.

Quick Robin, to the Bat Buffet!

Finally, some truth in labeling.

cheezitmike writes "In today's world of roaming undead and random zombie attacks, you cannot be too prepared for the possibility that you will need to flee on foot with your children. That's why all of you should read this guide to protecting children from zombie attacks. From the article: 'The market abounds with hundreds of child transport variations — from sleek, European buggys to integrated backpacks and off-road joggers. Selection of a transport type often becomes more about public perception and personal status than actual functionality. When it comes to holding up in a world filled with the living dead, many of these devices fall sadly short.' Remember, even if you're not a parent now, you should be prepared to aid children belonging to your neighbors, family members, or fellow survivors barricaded in your local safehouse in the event of a zombie crisis."

A University of Texas poll has found that 23 percent of Texans are convinced that Democratic presidential nominee Barack Obama is a Muslim. Only 45 percent of the people polled correctly identified Obama as a Protestant Christian. Nationwide, the number of people who believe in the "Secret Muslim Conspiracy" is about the same as those who believe that the moon landing was faked (5-10 percent), which makes the high numbers in Texas unusual.

New research has discovered some of the genetic changes that allowed vampire bats to live on a diet of pure blood. One of the bats' most important evolutionary traits is the ability to manipulate an anticoagulant protein in their blood and saliva. In humans similar proteins protect against heart attack by breaking up blood clots and clearing vessels.

Don't take your work home with you.

Nutiket writes "Ever stop to think about how you would rank the Top 10 Ghosts in Pop Culture? Well now you don't have to, as Gunaxin.com has released their list. Included on this list are ghosts from Books, Movies, Television, Video Games, and even Cereal Boxes. Where does Boo Berry rank? Did Patrick Swayze make it?" No A Christmas Carol ghosts, or King Hamlet?

It's a few years old so you should be able to find it in the bargain bin.

I think the knitted booties scare me the most.

Cosplay is not right for everyone. Talk to your doctor before beginning cosplay.

I'm not sure how many electoral votes Azeroth has, but it could be a key battleground state.

George Bates criticized an "unhelpful" worker at an Indian call center and gave him a low rating in a post-call customer satisfaction survey. After the survey Mr. Bates alleges the clerk froze his account and changed his identity to that of a Ugandan divorcee, In retaliation. Mr Bates alleges that the operator had "obviously seen that I have given him bad feedback and has decided to change all my details in revenge. When I heard my details had been changed to Ugandan I was terrified that my account had been emptied by somebody else and I would never get my money back." A bank spokesman said, "An error occurred on Mr Bates's overdraft. We have since returned his account to the correct position and refunded any charges relating to this error. In relation to Mr Bates's other claims, we can confirm that we have fully investigated these complaints but we do not comment on individual employees."

chebucto writes "The opening chord to A Hard Day's Night is famous because for 40 years, no one quite knew exactly what chord Harrison was playing. Musicians, scholars and amateur guitar players alike had all come up with their own theories, but it took a Dalhousie mathematician to figure out the exact formula. Dr. Brown used Fourier transforms to find the notes in the chord, and deduced that another George — George Martin, the Beatles producer — also played on the chord, adding a piano chord that included an F note impossible to play with the other notes on the guitar."