I'd like to see someone try this in New York.

Now if he could only find a way to work from the tub.

Having a dog totally prepares you for having a baby.

Joe Richardson lost his blue-stoned class ring while fishing in Lake Sam Rayburn, 21 years ago. On November 28, an anonymous fisherman found it inside an 8-pound bass he had caught and tracked Joe down. Richardson said he had lost the ring only two weeks after graduation. "I have not cleaned it," he said. "I told my wife I don't want to clean it." All this time I've been using live bait and expensive lures like a sucker! This summer my tackle box will be filled with class rings.

The problem with finding the perfect watermelon is the profound sadness that comes with knowing that you'll never taste one as good again.

She gets powerful mean if you keep her locked up in the cellar with the young-ins.

Repton writes "Thanks to the Second Amendment, even the elderly have the right to keep and bear arms. The problem is that many of the guns out there are a bit unwieldy for an older person to handle. However, the inventors of the Palm Pistol are planning to change all that with a weapon that is ideal for both the elderly and the physically disabled. In a statement submitted to Medgadget, the manufacturer, Constitution Arms, has revealed the following: 'We thought you might be interested to learn that the FDA has completed its "Device/Not a Device" determination and concluded the handgun will be listed as a Class I Medical Device.' Physicians will be able to prescribe the Palm Pistol for qualified patients who may seek reimbursement through Medicare or private health insurance companies."

The world's most expensive Christmas tree has been unveiled in Japan. Currently on display at the Ginza Tanaka jewelery shop in Shinsaibashi, Osaka, the tree is made of 24k gold, decorated with more than 240 jewels including diamonds and pearls, and comes with an estimated value of around £1million. "Economic sentiment is sluggish. But, at least in this store, we want people to feel a gorgeous atmosphere," a store official said. At least they spent their money on a useful gift this year, and nothing gaudy.

A creative writing project in a nine-year-old's class has turned into a 46-page hardcover book called "How to Talk to Girls." The original handwritten pamphlet was a bestseller at a school book fair where it sold for $5 a copy. The book fair fame eventually got Alec Greven an invitation to be on a local TV show and a publishing deal with HarperCollins. "It is easy to spot pretty girls because they have big earrings, fancy dresses and all the jewellery," he writes in chapter three. "Pretty girls are like cars that need a lot of oil." I'm sure Alec's book already has a dozen four-star reviews on Amazon.

Mark Ciarmello and his 3-year-old daughter found a 39-year-old message in a bottle while walking along the beach in Corolla, N.C. The note was in a Schaefer beer bottle and dated Aug. 17, 1969. It read: "If found notify the North Haledon Fire Co. 2." Firefighters suspect it was tossed by someone during one of the many fishing trips that they used to take years ago, but are unsure who as their fishing trips, like most, were about the beer.

I'm a big fan of the trilogy, but even I have to admit that the special effects in the new one aren't very special.

Don't his parents have to sign his ticket for him?

Dorian Cox, the 27-year-old guitarist of the indie band The Long Blondes, thought his guitar playing days were over after he suffered a stroke. He now has a glimmer of hope thanks to some neurological physiotherapy which includes a cutting-edge piece of medical technology. The SaeboFlex helps patients by supporting their wrists and helping them grasp and release objects. "It's a fantastic service, it's helping tremendously and I think it can work wonders for me and others — it's almost like a gym for my hand. I know things might never be the same again and nobody can give me a definite answer about whether I'll play guitar again but I'm getting back on track with their help," Mr. Cox said. This thing looks really cool, and I'm sure many people will benefit from it, though I can't help but wonder if they make a model that lets you shoot your fist at an enemy.

You don't need to worry about getting in trouble from your boss if the subway makes you late in New York City anymore. The transit authority will give you a late note. Passengers can request delay verification letters over the phone. NYC Transit verifies the date and time of the delay and sends an official note in the mail in one or two weeks. It mails 34,000 notes a year. An online system is currently in development. It won't be long before someone makes a website that lists all the late trains for your verified excuse needs.

Tom Farber, a calculus teacher at Rancho Bernardo high school in San Diego, has come up with a unique way of covering district cuts to his supplies budget. He sells ads on his tests. "Tough times call for tough actions," Tom says. The price of an ad on a Mr. Farber Calc test is as follows: $10 for a quiz, $20 for a chapter test, and $30 for a semester final. Most of the ads are messages from parents but about a third of them come from local businesses. Principal Paul Robinson says reaction has been "mixed," but adds, "It's not like, 'This test is brought to you by McDonald's or Nike.'" I see his point. Being a local business whore is much better than being a multinational conglomerate whore.

This is the beginning of a beautiful first date.

The marital bliss ended about the time of the ring exchange.

jage2 writes "Researchers say they have located the world's oldest stash of marijuana in a tomb in a remote part of China. The cache of cannabis is about 2,700 years old and was clearly 'cultivated for psychoactive purposes,' rather than as fibre for clothing, or as food, says a research paper in the Journal of Experimental Botany. The 789 grams of dried cannabis was buried alongside a light-haired, blue-eyed Caucasian man, likely a shaman of the Gushi culture, near Turpan in northwestern China."

Authorities say a cardboard figure of a person inside a Somerset County bank kept police at bay for 90 minutes. Police sealed off the area to traffic and evacuated residents in three nearby apartment buildings in an attempt to save them from the cardboard menace. The SWAT team was deployed after the cutout refused to answer repeated inquiries as to its demands.

Police community support officers in Bolton will battle public drunkenness by handing out bubble-blowers on Saturday nights throughout December. It is hoped that the new program will channel over-boisterous behavior into harmless fun. A similar program that gave the intoxicated lollipops was tested earlier this year with some success. Not everyone is keen on the idea however. Matthew Elliott, chief executive of the Taxpayers' Alliance, said, "This is completely bonkers. People want the police fighting crime, not handing out nursery school gimmicks. If this money isn't needed it should be given back to taxpayers, not squandered." If we could start a program that took away keys at bars and handed out Big Wheels for drunks to take home we could prevent many traffic accidents.