Teachers who mark homework with a red pen could be inflicting psychological damage on their students, according to new Australian guidelines. Teachers are being urged to use less aggressive colors, like the-real-world-is-going-to-eat-you-alive green, and setting-you-up-for-failure blue. Stephen Robertson, the Queensland health minister, defended the new rules, saying that youth suicide was a serious issue. "If mental health professionals determine that as one of a number of strategies teachers should consider, then I'll support them every day of the week," he said. "This is not a matter for ridicule, this is serious."

You can help your furry friends from beyond the grave thanks to a New Mexico company that is building coffins in a partnership with People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals. The coffins range from $620-$670, which includes a $75 PETA contribution. They are earth-friendly, being made of wood with no screws, nails, hinges or animal-based glues. Michael McGraw, a PETA spokesman in New York, said, "We expect a healthy interest. It's the best way for people to continue to use their voice for animals in death." I would think that being fed to animals upon your death would be the most environmentally friendly thing to do, but what do I know?

There isn't a more fuel-efficient way to crush cars.

I hope the flash works the first time

Inventor Le Trung must really like the book "The Stepford Wives," because he has built the dream of every lonely man without hope, a robot wife. Le's wife, Aiko, starts the day by reading him the newspaper headlines and they go for a drives in the countryside. Le says his relationship with Aiko hasn't strayed into the bedroom, but a few tweaks could turn her into a sexual partner, even redesigning her to have a simulated orgasm. *Shudder*

The guy who wrote the Barney "I love you" song, and other musicians are banding together to protest the US military using their songs as weapons. The campaign has brought together groups including Massive Attack and musicians such as Tom Morello, who played with Rage Against the Machine and Audioslave. It will feature minutes of silence during concerts and festivals, said Chloe Davies of the British law group Reprieve, which represents dozens of Guantanamo Bay detainees and is organizing the campaign.

A British design company, called Concentrate, has come up with a product intended to help children concentrate in school, pre-chewed pencils. The company says the pencils look like they have already been chewed making children less likely to put them in their mouths and are a a cheap but effective way of encouraging youngsters to get their teeth into their lessons instead. No word on how long before they start making pre-eaten paste.

The recent boom in cosmetic procedures isn't limited to the living according to morticians. Many people are now requesting smoothing lines, plumping lips and even boosting sagging parts for their final appearance. "People used to say, just throw me in a pine box and bury me in the back yard," says Mark Duffey, president and CEO of Everest Funeral, a national funeral planning and concierge service. "But that's all changing. Now people want to be remembered. A funeral is their last major event and they want to look good for it. I've even had people say, 'I want you to get rid of my wrinkles and make me look younger.'" I wonder how much it would cost to get grandma a pair of implants on that special day?

He'll make the cutest broth you've ever tasted.

Dick was known for two things around the station: his five-alarm chili, and his hatred of school buses.

At Hayashi Ya Japanese restaurant you can eat all you want for $26.95, but if you don't clean your plate it's 3% more. The manager says he implemented the extra cost two years ago to help with the restaurant's bottom line by reducing waste. This is one restaurant every mother could be proud of.

Simon Belsky, 61, was issued a $115 parking ticket on Nov. 3, 2006, for blocking a fire hydrant. Simon claims the only hydrant was a good distance down the block from where he parked and has been fighting the ticket for more than two years now. The fine has since increased to $200 with penalties and Belsky estimates that he has spent $7,500 on legal fees so far, but he doesn't plan on giving up the fight. "I got nothing else to do. I'm retired," he said.

There was something about that neighbor boy that I just didn't trust.

"What do you think of a person who only does the bare minimum?"

There can be little doubt that the internet has changed everyday life for the better, but Nobel literature prize winner Jean-Marie Gustave Le Clezio has upped the ante by saying an earlier introduction of information technology could even have prevented World War II. "Who knows, if the Internet had existed at the time, perhaps Hitler's criminal plot would not have succeeded — ridicule might have prevented it from ever seeing the light of day," he said. I have to agree with him. If England had been able to send a "Stop Hitler Now!" petition to 10 friendly countries, those countries could have each sent it to 10 more friendly countries before the invasion of Poland, and one of history's greatest tragedies might have been averted.

A mother is complaining that a game she bought her son to improve his vocabulary is instead teaching him inappropriate language. Tonya Carrington, 36, gave her son the Nintendo version of Scrabble and was horrified to discover that the virtual opponents in the game were laying down words containing crude slang and abuse. Mrs Carrington tried out the program for herself on her sons DS console and was shocked when her "opponent" laid down the word "t*ts." The next word the computer offered was "f*ckers," which it defined as "a slang word for chavs." "Ethan is doing really well with English at school, so I decided to get this to help boost his vocabulary — but obviously not like that," she said. It's tragic that her son was exposed to that kind of mind-warping language, which I'm sure as a nine-year-old boy he has never heard on the playground.

pomke writes "According to WAtoday, 'More than 130,000 inflatable breasts have been lost at sea en route to Australia. Men's magazine Ralph was planning to include the boobs as a free gift with its January issue. The cargo is worth about $200,000, which is another blow for publisher ACP's parent company PBL, which is already in $4.3 billion of debt.' I wonder if they could be used for Global Warming Research?"

Wait until snufulufugus finds out.

Leave it to the Japanese to come up with a beverage merchant more shady than the Kool-Aid Man.

After signing up for Thawte's Personal E-mail Certificates service, a user found some strange questions popping up in his account settings. After a little investigating it became obvious that for some reason Thawte was completing his questions by using other user's questions. Some of the other users' security questions that he dug up are priceless.