It is estimated that a square yard of Mexico City sidewalk has 70 blobs of discarded gum, making it twice as gum filled as the bottom of an average 3rd grader's desk. To fight the problem authorities have used expensive sidewalk steam-cleaners, natural chewing gums that break down and now they are telling citizens to swallow it. "People just spit their gum out right on the sidewalk," marveled Paula Moran, a 32-year-old secretary. "It's ugly, and it's even worse when you step on it -- especially when it's still warm."

An anonymous reader writes "From the CNN Political Ticker: "Hustler publisher Larry Flynt and Girls Gone Wild CEO Joe Francis said Wednesday they will request that Congress allocate $5 billion for a bailout of the adult entertainment industry."" I guess these hard economic times are a bit too much to swallow for everyone.

It's been days since their last accident.

Even the house pets are bigger in Texas.

Anti-Globalism writes "A group of hippies is complaining that a recently installed WiFi mesh network in the UK village of Glastonbury is causing health problems. To combat the signals from the Wi-Fi hotspots, the hippies have placed orgone generators around the antennae." Although there have been many studies that show no correlation between WiFi and health issues the hippies say, "Yeah, well, you know, that's just, like, your opinion, man."

A man whose home was so full of trash that he had to build an network of tunnels to get around may have died after getting lost in the maze. Officials think Gordon Stewart, 74, died as a result of dehydration, after becoming unable to find his way out of the network of carrier bags, boxes, old furniture and other junk. Neighbors had become concerned that they had not seen Mr Stewart for several days and raised the alarm. Officials had no comment on the Bog of Eternal Stench or the whereabouts of the Goblin King.

84-year-old Luba Relic has been banned from driving for the next 1000 years. Her license had been suspended by the RTA for "medical reasons," a court heard. But she crashed into a Honda Civic outside a St Vincent De Paul shop in Oxford Rd, Brookvale in September. Luba is no stranger to the court system. She has been to court with her neighbors 78 times and was charged this time with negligent driving, driving without a license and failing to give particulars. Will someone please get Luba a copy of Burnout, I think she'd be a natural.

They'll never take our irony!

It's cute until you have to change his litter box.

Garth Seehawer, 71, of Oconto Falls, has taken the coveted Top Lie of 2008 award given by The Burlington Liars Club. Four judges picked Seehawer's lie,"My grandson is the most persuasive liar I have ever met. By the time he was 2 years old he could dirty his diaper and make his mother believe someone else had done it," out of about 160 entries. "When you're the best in the world at something, sure, that's an honor," he said, insisting with a chuckle that his background as a lawyer gave him no advantage. "This will only hurt for a little while," came in a close second, with "I'd love to watch the Sex and the City movie with you," rounding out third.

An increasing number of childless women are taking fake babies to the park, out to eat, and even hosting birthday parties for them. Forty-nine-year-old Linda is married with no children of her own. Now, she says she feels like a mother because she has Reborns -- dolls made to look and feel like the real thing. Women interested in this "hobby" can spend a few hundred bucks to over a thousand on the faux infants. The owner of Reborn, Lachelle Moore, offers this unintentionally chilling line, "What's so wonderful about Reborns is that, um, they're forever babies."

You should see her catch a frisbee.

Badger, badger, badger, badger. Mushroom, mushroom! Snake!

CommonCents noted an Apple announcement a few hours before the anticipated keynote. He says "Apples' latest must have gadget does away with the keyboard. With the new MacBook Wheel, Apple has replaced the traditional keyboard with a giant wheel."

Thousands of shoes, boots, slippers, sandals, and even roller blades from sources unknown disrupted Miami traffic on Friday. No witnesses have come forward with information on the mountain of footwear and law enforcement officials say the person responsible for leaving behind the shoes will be charged for the clean up. I think we have just witnessed the beginning of the next M. Night Shyamalan movie.

This is one way to cut down on lines.

Sometimes what you seek most isn't right in front of you, it's sitting on your head.

DynaSoar writes "Lake Superior State University in Michigan's Upper Peninsula ('The land of four seasons: June, July, August and Winter') has just published its 34th annual List of Words to Be Banished from the Queen's English for Mis-use, Over-use and General Uselessness. Besides such unsurprising inclusions such as 'green' corporations being 'game changing' due to concern with their 'carbon foot print,' this year's list contains an emoticon for the first time — not a smiley face or variant, but the 'heart' symbol made from the characters 'less than' and 'three.' It's perhaps a sign of the evolution of language, or at least of this volunteer linguistic watchdog group, that a symbol compounded of two characters, neither of them a letter, is considered not only a word, but a particularly egregious one."

Way back in 1997 Seinfeld made Festivus Famous. Alexandra Casuso was only 11 years old when Festivus made its TV debut but she is now one of many people who celebrate the holiday. "My parents -- my mother is Jewish, my father is Christian -- have a Christmas tree set up," said Casuso, 22. "They think I'm crazy. But I have a Festivus pole set up in the house. I also have a huge banner hanging up that says `Happy Festivus!' And I took all the gifts from under their Christmas tree and put them under my Festivus pole." Festivus is not over until you pin CowboyNeal!

boef writes "New Scientist has a gallery showing the top 10 unusual objects that have flown in space — from a small communion kit (that resulted in a lawsuit) to small toys to indicate when crew are in weightless conditions."