A_Mythago writes "Ever wanted to unleash your 'Inner Jedi' but have been put off by that pesky lack of midi-chlorians? Fear not, your salvation is at hand with a new EEG-controlled toy developed by Uncle Milton Industries that allows you to use 'the Force' to move a ball up and down in a tube using only the power of your mind. With levels of difficulty from Padawan to Jedi, it is sure to be a hit with the Star Wars geek in your life!" Let me know when they release the Dark Side version of this so I can practice my remote choking powers.

funfail writes "What's the Value of a Facebook Friend? About 37 Cents... To earn your free burger, download the Whopper Sacrifice Facebook application and dump 10 unlucky friends deemed to be unworthy of their weight in beef. After completing the purge, users are prompted to enter their addresses and the coupons are sent out via snail mail." Mmmmm....social isolation and hamburgers, sounds delicious.

It has taken Graham Parker almost his entire life, but today after 26 years he has finally solved his Rubik's Cube. Way back in 1983 when Graham bought the toy, Yuri Andropov was leader of the Soviet Union, and CDs were just starting to fill shelves. The 45-year-old from Portchester, Hampshire, says, "I cannot tell you what a relief it was to finally solve it. It has driven me mad over the years - it felt like it had taken over my life. I have missed important events to stay in and solve it and I would lie awake at night thinking about it. I have had wrist and back problems from spending hours on it but it was all worth it. When I clicked that last bit into place and each face was a solid color, I wept." Mr. Parker plans on spending the next 26 years untying a knot in his laces.

Who says carpentry can't be cool?

It's just a matter of time until they learn to drive.

PeterAitch writes "According to Reuters, Potsdam University in Germany is now teaching social skills as part of their IT courses. This is intended to 'ease entry into the world of work'. The 440 students enrolled in the master's degree course will learn how to write flirtatious text messages and emails, impress people at parties and cope with rejection(s)." The class is taught by a superficial model, who will fall in love with the nerdiest student at the end of the semester after realizing that he is beautiful on the inside.

A teacher at Peterson Elementary School had three 8-year-old girls shave off his beard in front of the classroom, then made them promise not to tell their parents. The girls parents are now angry and want their precious little one's transferred out of the class so they won't have to relive the horror of touching human hair. The teacher, Michael McLane, says the shaving was a "story starter" for a writing activity. A letter from Principal Nolan Harris reads, in part: "As you may be aware, the last week before the Thanksgiving break, Mr. McLane had the class participate in a face-shaving activity with an electric razor as a story starter for a writing assignment. He later instructed the students that if they told they would not have a Christmas Party. Needless to say, that instruction was inappropriate and was not well received by several parents, staff or the Administration. On behalf of myself and the District, we want to apologize to the students and parents."

Ana10g writes "Are you looking for a thruster for that spacecraft you've been building on the side? Matthew Krolak's How-To Article details how to build a Magnetoplasmadynamic Thruster may have the answer. It actually seems to be fairly straightforward, and the parts are readily available." Looks like a great project to do with very small children in a garage full of oily rags.

Everyone needs something to believe in.

Kodak should hire this guy to part of an advertising campaign.

nandemoari writes "A six-year-old who recently stole his parents' car and drove it into a utility pole has passed the buck onto a familiar scapegoat: the video game, Grand Theft Auto. Rockstar Games' controversial Grand Theft Auto video game has been criticized by parent groups and crusaders (or in the eyes of gamers, nincompoops) like former lawyer Jack Thompson for years (Thompson once tried to link the Virginia Tech slayings to late-night Counterstrike sessions. He's since been disbarred). However, not as of yet has anyone under the age of, oh, ten, blamed the game for a car theft."

Hugh Pickens writes "BBC reports that more people need to donate their brains to medical research if cures for diseases like dementia are to be found and are urging healthy people as well as those with brain disorders to become donors. 'For autism, we only have maybe 15 or 20 brains that have been donated that we can do our research on. That is drastically awful,' said Dr Payam Rezaie of the Neuropathology Research Laboratory at the Open University. 'We would need at least 100 cases to get meaningful data. A lot of research is being hindered by this restriction.' Part of the problem, according to Professor Margaret Esiri at the University of Oxford, may be that people are reluctant to donate their brains because they see the organ as the basis of their identity. 'It used to be other parts of the body that we thought were important,' says Esin. 'But now people realize that their brain is the crucial thing that gives them their mind and their self.' Dr Kieran Breen, of the Parkinson's Disease Society, said over 90% of the brains in their bank at Imperial College London were from patients, with the remaining 10% of 'healthy' brains donated by friends or relatives of patients. 'Some people are under the impression that if they sign up for a donor card that will include donating their brain for research. But it won't,' says Breen. 'Donor cards are about donating organs for transplant, not for medical science.'"

Richard Batista, 49, is suing his estranged wife, 44-year-old Dawnell Batista, for the return of a kidney he donated to her in 2001 or the sum of $1.5 million. After discovering that his wife had an affair with her physical therapist in 2003, Mr. Batista lost that loving feeling and now wants the organ back. "I saved her life and then to be betrayed like this is unfathomable. It's incomprehensible," he told the Post. "She engaged in an extramarital affair and refused to go to marital counseling and reconciliation."

It is estimated that a square yard of Mexico City sidewalk has 70 blobs of discarded gum, making it twice as gum filled as the bottom of an average 3rd grader's desk. To fight the problem authorities have used expensive sidewalk steam-cleaners, natural chewing gums that break down and now they are telling citizens to swallow it. "People just spit their gum out right on the sidewalk," marveled Paula Moran, a 32-year-old secretary. "It's ugly, and it's even worse when you step on it -- especially when it's still warm."

An anonymous reader writes "From the CNN Political Ticker: "Hustler publisher Larry Flynt and Girls Gone Wild CEO Joe Francis said Wednesday they will request that Congress allocate $5 billion for a bailout of the adult entertainment industry."" I guess these hard economic times are a bit too much to swallow for everyone.

It's been days since their last accident.

Even the house pets are bigger in Texas.

Anti-Globalism writes "A group of hippies is complaining that a recently installed WiFi mesh network in the UK village of Glastonbury is causing health problems. To combat the signals from the Wi-Fi hotspots, the hippies have placed orgone generators around the antennae." Although there have been many studies that show no correlation between WiFi and health issues the hippies say, "Yeah, well, you know, that's just, like, your opinion, man."

A man whose home was so full of trash that he had to build an network of tunnels to get around may have died after getting lost in the maze. Officials think Gordon Stewart, 74, died as a result of dehydration, after becoming unable to find his way out of the network of carrier bags, boxes, old furniture and other junk. Neighbors had become concerned that they had not seen Mr Stewart for several days and raised the alarm. Officials had no comment on the Bog of Eternal Stench or the whereabouts of the Goblin King.

84-year-old Luba Relic has been banned from driving for the next 1000 years. Her license had been suspended by the RTA for "medical reasons," a court heard. But she crashed into a Honda Civic outside a St Vincent De Paul shop in Oxford Rd, Brookvale in September. Luba is no stranger to the court system. She has been to court with her neighbors 78 times and was charged this time with negligent driving, driving without a license and failing to give particulars. Will someone please get Luba a copy of Burnout, I think she'd be a natural.