If one of these dolls were human sized, the circumference of her head would be five and a half feet.

Michael Nicholson really likes school. I mean he likes it in the same way Steve Jobs Likes turtlenecks and my unemployed uncle likes Larry The Cable Guy. The 67-year-old Kalamazoo man has amassed 27 college degrees since 1963, and he says he's not done yet. It started with a bachelor's degree in religious education at William Tyndale College in Detroit, which led to a master's degree in theology at Dallas Theological Seminary. Since then, he has earned two associate's degrees, 19 master's degrees, three specialist's degrees and one doctoral degree. Michael is currently working on two more master's degrees and is a shoe-in to lead this year's beer-pong team to the national finals.

In the granddaddy of all stupid public relations decisions, Spirit Airlines decided to charge two passengers a $90 cancellation fee because the couple never used their return flight from Myrtle Beach on Flight 1549. While Spirit Airlines employees may not be very adaptable to tough situations, their HR department can take solace in the fact that they know how to spew forth company policy. It only took a day for the company to give the Kolodjay family a full refund. Behold the power of bad press!

A 62-year-old Frenchman, Lluis Colet, broke the world record for the longest speech after talking nonstop for 124 hours about Spanish painter Salvador Dali, Catalan culture and other topics. The previous record was held by an Indian man who delivered a 120-hour speech. Three notaries were on hand to recognize the feat, which allows Colet to enter it in the Guinness Book of Records. I'm not sure which is the more impressive feat: Mr. Colet talking for five straight days, or three people listening to him that long.

You have to do what you can to protect yourself from harmful UV rays.

Forget about the possibility of crashing, how is that kid able to breath?

Tracey Fox, 42, became so sick of her constantly broken washing machine that she decided to barricade herself against the door and refused to let the repairman out of her home. The grandmother of two said, "I'm not proud of my actions, but I felt there was no other option. It sounds stupid thinking about it now, but it was the final straw." After police were called, the situation was resolved and the company that sold the washer have since offered Tracey and her husband Terry, 44, a new washing machine. It's like I always say, If you have a problem just hold somebody hostage.

A Swedish court has ruled that a woman be allowed to seek treatment for her addiction to Coca Cola. Deaf since childhood, the woman claims that her addiction is a side-effect of her handicap and has been been fighting with authorities in Sweden to get special treatment for her condition. I can't wait for the day I can get treated for my addiction of going to work.

Barney, an African Grey Parrot, has learned to use his owner's voice to boss around her other pets. The bird, 10, squawks out orders like "come here" and even offers praise to his favorites such as "good dog." Margaret Sullivan, 65, says the bird's favorite game is calling out to a cat named Shadow. He then praises him when he does as he is told and sits on top of Barney's cage. Her husband says, "It's uncanny. He mimics her perfectly and when the dogs come over to the cage as if they are following his orders. The animals all think he's Margaret when he speaks. He loves ordering them around and commanding them — it's very surprising. He's not frightened or scared of them at all." Sounds like the beginning of a bad horror movie to me. Mimic Master; The last scream you hear will be your own.

Gambrinus writes "Can someone that hasn't seen the original Star Wars trilogy retell it? This guy recorded his friend retelling him the plot of the original Star Wars trilogy. He then made some animations to go along with her narration."

Roskolnikov writes "I thought I ran across a joke; Playmobil, the maker of childrens' scenario playsets, has made a airport security checkpoint that could easily be at home on any travelers desk; what makes this even more entertaining (in a sick, yet somehow funny way) are the reviews posted for this defective toy; imagine what a little barbed wire and SS uniforms would do for this."

In the end everything ends up zombie food.

All the devices have to be worth more than the car.

Firefighters say a cat is the hero and a goat is to blame for a house fire that destroyed an Iowa home. The fire was believed to have been started by a goat that knocked over a space heater in an attached shed and it might have been fatal if the cat hadn't awakened the sleeping family. "My cat woke me up and I saw smoke coming out of my fan," John Hadley told KCCI-TV, Des Moines. "I made sure I got her (Hadley's mother) out and then I know she loves her animals, so I rounded all her animals up, and by that point, flames and smoke were everywhere." I'd think twice about not giving the goat what it wants in the future if I were the Hadley family.

Peru's top court has ruled that workers cannot be fired for being drunk on the job. The ruling was criticized by the government for setting a dangerous precedent. Celso Becerra, the administrative chief of Chorrillos, a suburb of Lima, denounced the ruling. "We've fired four workers for showing up drunk, and two of them were drivers," he said. "How can we allow a drunk to work who might run somebody over?" Go with the liquor, Peru.

He's not very big but he's a hell of a shot.

stonedcat writes "A Wisconsin woman has claimed that Dell computers and Ubuntu have kept her from going back to school via online classes. She says she has called Dell to request Windows instead however was talked out of it. Her current claim is that she was unaware that she couldn't install her Verizon online disk to access the Internet, nor could she use Microsoft Word to type up her papers."

MBGMorden writes "It looks like in an act that defies common sense, a bill has been introduced in the South Carolina State Senate that seeks to outlaw the use of profanity. According to the bill it would become a felony (punishable by a fine up to $5000 or up to 5 years in prison) to 'publish orally or in writing, exhibit, or otherwise make available material containing words, language, or actions of a profane, vulgar, lewd, lascivious, or indecent nature.' I'm not sure if 'in writing' could be applied to the internet, but in any event this is scary stuff."

Scientists at Washington State University have found that about four in ten of us will laugh at a bad joke, while less than one in 100 will voice displeasure. Researchers believe that we may be amused at being let down by the humor, and that we laugh at how bad a joke can actually be. Dr Nancy Bell made her findings after a team of colleagues told this joke to almost 200 people: "What did the big chimney say to the little chimney? Nothing. Chimneys can't talk." At last I understand how Dane Cook and Carrot Top have careers.

5-foot tall, 275-pound Carolyn Ragan is upset with the University of Kansas Hospital after she was told to have an MRI of her spinal tumor done at a zoo because the hospital's machine could not accommodate her. "(a medical assistant)...suggested the Kansas City Zoo," Ragan said. "I thought, I know I'm big, but I'm not as big as an elephant. And my husband got mad." The University of Kansas Hospital would not comment on Ragan's claim, but said its MRI department does not know of any animal MRI in the Kansas City area that would scan a human. You know it's time to put down the burger and go for a walk when you have to go to the large mammal exhibit for health care.