A Swedish court has ruled that a woman be allowed to seek treatment for her addiction to Coca Cola. Deaf since childhood, the woman claims that her addiction is a side-effect of her handicap and has been been fighting with authorities in Sweden to get special treatment for her condition. I can't wait for the day I can get treated for my addiction of going to work.

Barney, an African Grey Parrot, has learned to use his owner's voice to boss around her other pets. The bird, 10, squawks out orders like "come here" and even offers praise to his favorites such as "good dog." Margaret Sullivan, 65, says the bird's favorite game is calling out to a cat named Shadow. He then praises him when he does as he is told and sits on top of Barney's cage. Her husband says, "It's uncanny. He mimics her perfectly and when the dogs come over to the cage as if they are following his orders. The animals all think he's Margaret when he speaks. He loves ordering them around and commanding them — it's very surprising. He's not frightened or scared of them at all." Sounds like the beginning of a bad horror movie to me. Mimic Master; The last scream you hear will be your own.

Gambrinus writes "Can someone that hasn't seen the original Star Wars trilogy retell it? This guy recorded his friend retelling him the plot of the original Star Wars trilogy. He then made some animations to go along with her narration."

Roskolnikov writes "I thought I ran across a joke; Playmobil, the maker of childrens' scenario playsets, has made a airport security checkpoint that could easily be at home on any travelers desk; what makes this even more entertaining (in a sick, yet somehow funny way) are the reviews posted for this defective toy; imagine what a little barbed wire and SS uniforms would do for this."

In the end everything ends up zombie food.

All the devices have to be worth more than the car.

Firefighters say a cat is the hero and a goat is to blame for a house fire that destroyed an Iowa home. The fire was believed to have been started by a goat that knocked over a space heater in an attached shed and it might have been fatal if the cat hadn't awakened the sleeping family. "My cat woke me up and I saw smoke coming out of my fan," John Hadley told KCCI-TV, Des Moines. "I made sure I got her (Hadley's mother) out and then I know she loves her animals, so I rounded all her animals up, and by that point, flames and smoke were everywhere." I'd think twice about not giving the goat what it wants in the future if I were the Hadley family.

Peru's top court has ruled that workers cannot be fired for being drunk on the job. The ruling was criticized by the government for setting a dangerous precedent. Celso Becerra, the administrative chief of Chorrillos, a suburb of Lima, denounced the ruling. "We've fired four workers for showing up drunk, and two of them were drivers," he said. "How can we allow a drunk to work who might run somebody over?" Go with the liquor, Peru.

He's not very big but he's a hell of a shot.

stonedcat writes "A Wisconsin woman has claimed that Dell computers and Ubuntu have kept her from going back to school via online classes. She says she has called Dell to request Windows instead however was talked out of it. Her current claim is that she was unaware that she couldn't install her Verizon online disk to access the Internet, nor could she use Microsoft Word to type up her papers."

MBGMorden writes "It looks like in an act that defies common sense, a bill has been introduced in the South Carolina State Senate that seeks to outlaw the use of profanity. According to the bill it would become a felony (punishable by a fine up to $5000 or up to 5 years in prison) to 'publish orally or in writing, exhibit, or otherwise make available material containing words, language, or actions of a profane, vulgar, lewd, lascivious, or indecent nature.' I'm not sure if 'in writing' could be applied to the internet, but in any event this is scary stuff."

Scientists at Washington State University have found that about four in ten of us will laugh at a bad joke, while less than one in 100 will voice displeasure. Researchers believe that we may be amused at being let down by the humor, and that we laugh at how bad a joke can actually be. Dr Nancy Bell made her findings after a team of colleagues told this joke to almost 200 people: "What did the big chimney say to the little chimney? Nothing. Chimneys can't talk." At last I understand how Dane Cook and Carrot Top have careers.

5-foot tall, 275-pound Carolyn Ragan is upset with the University of Kansas Hospital after she was told to have an MRI of her spinal tumor done at a zoo because the hospital's machine could not accommodate her. "(a medical assistant)...suggested the Kansas City Zoo," Ragan said. "I thought, I know I'm big, but I'm not as big as an elephant. And my husband got mad." The University of Kansas Hospital would not comment on Ragan's claim, but said its MRI department does not know of any animal MRI in the Kansas City area that would scan a human. You know it's time to put down the burger and go for a walk when you have to go to the large mammal exhibit for health care.

At least you can tell if there is someone shady in the next stall.

Just when you thought it was safe to go back to the beach....

Police have arrested a California man for allegedly trying to sell his 14-year-old daughter into marriage in exchange for $16,000, 100 cases of beer and several cases of meat. The police became aware of this shining example of fatherhood after he went to them to complain that the buyer had failed to make payment as promised. He was arrested on suspicion of human trafficking.

Greg Hardesty, 45, from Silverado Canyon, California was a little shocked when he received his phone bill last month. It's not everyday that you get a 440-page cell phone bill. His 13-year-old daughter Reina had sent an incredible 14,528 text messages in one month. Hardesty says, "First, I laughed. I thought, 'That's insane, that's impossible...And I immediately whipped out the calculator to see if it was humanly possible." If you crunch the numbers it comes out to be 484 a day or one for every two minutes she was awake, impressive!

boaworm writes "Tired of your old job? Tourism Queensland in Brisbane, Australia, offers this: The role of Island Caretaker is a six-month contract, based on luxurious Hamilton Island in the Great Barrier Reef. It's a live-in position with flexible working hours and key responsibilities include exploring the islands of the Great Barrier Reef to discover what the area has to offer. Living above the Great Barrier Reef is a pretty unique benefit, but the successful candidate will also be paid a salary package of AUD $150,000 for the six-month contract. You'll receive return airfares from your nearest capital city (in your home country), accommodation and transport on Hamilton Island, travel insurance for the contract period, computer, internet, digital video and stills cameras access, plus travel to a number of the other Islands of the Great Barrier Reef. The six-month contract commences 1st July 2009 The full job offer can be found here" Sadly this position does not come with a little person side-kick in a white suit.

Not even Captain Planet is immune to the effects of climate change.

They went on a 12-city rampage the first night.