A sewage treatment facility in Nagano prefecture has recorded a higher gold yield from sludge than can be found at some of the world's best mines. An official said the high percentage of gold found at the Suwa facility was probably due to the large number of precision equipment manufacturers in the area. The facility recently recorded finding 1,890 grammes of gold per tonne of ash from incinerated sludge. The prefecture is so far due to receive 5 million yen ($55,810) for the gold, minus expenses. I can't wait to see the game show they make out of this. I bet the physical challenges are brutal.

An Australian company has launched a personalized, environmentally friendly coffin business, to help people express themselves to the very end. LifeArt will make you a customized coffin with designs such as a surfer catching a wave, a picturesque scene, or the colors of a favorite team. I want, "For Those About To Rot, We Salute You!" in big black letters.

What is the worst that could happen?

I'm surprised their hoods don't get caught on the moving parts.

In an attempt to stop prisoners smuggling mobile phones into jail, Britain plans on introducing bottom scanners. Prisoners will have to sit on the scanners (chairs), called Body Orifice Security Scanners, which bleep if their subjects have a phone hidden inside them. The £6,500 chairs are going in 102 jails across Britain, and can also be used to detect drugs and weapons. The chairs are very reasonably priced when you think of the savings on latex gloves, lube, and anti-bacterial soap they provide.

Teunis Tenbrook, A philosophy student with feet so smelly that he was thrown out of Erasmus University in Rotterdam, has won the right to attend lectures after a 10-year legal battle. Tenbrook was thrown out after complaints from professors and students that it was impossible to study with the smell from his feet. A Dutch court has ruled however, that having smelly feet is no excuse to ban a student from a university. The judge said, "Our considered opinion is that the professors and other students will just have to hold their noses and bear it." It looks like Mr. Tenbrook and his ten rancid piggies will finally get an education. Let's hope he learns about soap.

I had this conversation with my college roommate many times.

It's more fun if you go outside and level.

At least he's a good protector.

The Tough Guy 2009 challenge is described by its organizers as a 'uniquely fear-ridden' test of both body and spirit. The race consists of a grueling six-mile cross-country run in the freezing cold with 21 different obstacles including underwater tunnels, hot coals, electric fences and swamps. Competitors were strongly advised to prepare by undergoing cold water training to guard against the potentially lethal threat of hypothermia and had to sign a 'Death Warrant disclaimer' before taking part in the event. The race was supposed to conclude with a hour-long conversation with my mother covering such topics as: what Mrs. Kline said at the book club Wednesday night, speculations on what type of curtains would go with the new carpet, and a treatise on what is wrong with various family members. Organizers decided against the phone call after it was deemed too hazardous to competitors in their weakened state.

An Irish carpenter pleaded guilty to a series of strange crimes including robbing a Brisbane ticketing agency to feed his pet fish. Richard William O'Flynn admitted in court that he gave a note to a Brisbane Ticketek employee, which read: "Give me all the #@*! money from the till." When his clever note didn't work, he came back with a goldfish and explained that he needed the money to feed his fish. O'Flynn also tried to hold up a bakery with a decorative cake knife after ordering a "gay wedding cake" for him and his partner. It's a lot easier to go crazy if you jump in with both feet.

As long as I still have wasted Wednesdays, I'll be fine.

I really mean no splashing this time.

A slide at a Melbourne housing estate playground is under 24-hour security after it was deemed too dangerous for small children. Three small children were seriously injured on the slide in October last year, a month after it was installed. Now a guard watches the slide from a car at night. I wonder if anyone has ever written a career paper on the life of the playground equipment security guard?

Ian-K writes "The Sun has a story about a man lost his 'tool' while trying to rape a raccoon. An observant reader over at ATS pointed out that luckily it wasn't a squirrel, or he may have also lost his nuts." I hope he can make something positive out of this experience, like talking at schools to warn kids about the dangers of oral sex with a raccoon.

Rog-Mahal writes "Pope Benedict XVI will launch his own YouTube channel says an AP story snagged from MSNBC. The Pope "joined U.S. President Barack Obama and Queen Elizabeth II on Friday by launching his own YouTube channel, the latest Vatican effort to reach out to the digital generation." The article goes on to state that Pope Benedict was inspired by social networking sites such as MySpace and Facebook. In addition to reaching a larger audience, the Vatican also hopes to control the use of papal images and content. Additionally, "Google's managing director for media solutions, Henrique de Castro, said Google was working out details to ensure the site was available in China, where authorities occasionally block foreign news sites."" I look forward to watching his holiness play practical jokes on the cardinals and jump various things on his skateboard.

There has to be a safer way to do this.

Pilots in the RAF have fired upon unidentified objects without success since the 1980s, according to Nick Pope, who used to run the Ministry of Defence's UFO project. "There was a faction in the MoD who said 'We want to shoot down a UFO and that will resolve the issue one way or another. We know of cases where the order has been given to shoot down - with little effect to the UFO," he says. The MoD refused to comment. While not making the best first impression on our alien visitors, this policy assures that the British won't end up in a cookbook.

A 14-year-old who wanted to be a police officer put on a uniform, walked into a Chicago police station and managed to get an assignment -- patrolling in a squad car for five hours before he was detected, police said Sunday. Assistant Superintendent James Jackson said the mix-up was discovered only after the boy's patrol with an actual officer ended Saturday. Officers noticed his uniform lacked a star that is part of the regulation uniform. That's some fine police work there, Lou.

An anonymous reader writes "Wikipedia apparently wasn't enough. There had to be a course on the much needed subject of soap operas at MIT. Here's the Course Description: "The television landscape has changed drastically in the past few years; nowhere is this more prevalent than in the American daytime serial drama, one of the oldest forms of television content. This class examines the history of these "soap operas" and their audiences by focusing on the production, consumption, and media texts of soaps. The class will include discussions of what makes soap operas a unique form, the history of the genre, current experimentation with transmedia storytelling, the online fan community, and comparisons between daytime dramas and primetime serials from 24 to Friday Night Lights, through a study of Procter & Gamble's As the World Turns."" All I really need to know I learned from my evil twin, who fathered my unborn child, who has a extremely rare disease that only one of my many CIA contacts, who is also sleeping with my wife, can cure.