For $7, Lujan Zoo, in Argentina, will let you play with lions and tigers and bears! Oh my! Tourists who have never watched a lion, bear, or tiger catch and kill prey on TV can ride, wrestle and pet them. Animal protection charity The Born Free Foundation has condemned the zoo and issued a statement to urge tourists not to visit the zoo. CEO Will Travers said, "Based on what I have seen displayed on the Lujan Zoo website, I am fearful that a terrible accident is going to happen."

Making life easier, one upgrade at a time.

tritonman writes "A new scientific study suggests that crabs can feel and remember pain. From the article: '"More research is needed in this area where a potentially very large problem is being ignored," said Elwood. Legislation to protect crustaceans has been proposed but it is likely to cover only scientific research. Millions of crustacean are caught or reared in aquaculture for the food industry. There is no protection for these animals (with the possible exception of certain states in Australia) as the presumption is that they cannot experience pain.' Perhaps soon there will be a study to determine that vegetables feel pain as well, then all of the vegans will only be allowed to eat rocks."

Paul and Deborah Rees have been given government funding to teach people how to "communicate with the dead." The couple, from Bridgend, south Wales, got £4,500 under the Government's Want2Work job creation program. The mediums insist the "mere £4,500" of public money will be put to good use at their center, the Accolade Academy of Psychic and Mediumistic Studies. Mr Rees said, "People who have lost mums and dads or a child deserve all the respect in the world in their grieving, and they deserve a medium who can give them respect. Our job is to provide substantial evidence to bring ease to people's grieving — and that's what I would say to people who query the award." Wait, it's coming to me....I see a queue of Alchemists waiting at the Want2Work grant office.

A Texas woman has sparked controversy with her use of a seeing-eye horse. Tabitha Darling is legally blind and has a bone condition that makes walking painful. She uses her seeing-eye pony, Trixie, to help her get around and shop, but not everyone agrees that a horse is the right animal for the job. Personally, I'm glad that service animals are finally breaking out of their stereotypes. I see the patient diligence of the bomb-sniffing sloth, and the soothing aquatic environment of the cancer-detecting manatee, as a plus.

"The 2009-2014 World Outlook for 60-milligram Containers of Fromage Frais," by Professor Philip M Parker, won The Diagram Prize for oddest book title of the year. "Baboon Metaphysics," by Dorothy L Cheney and Robert M Seyfarth took second, and "Curbside Consultation of the Colon" by Brooks D Cash came in third. Past winners include such gems as: "Bombproof Your Horse," "People Who Don't Know They're Dead: How They Attach Themselves To Unsuspecting Bystanders And What To Do About It," and the classic "How to S**t In The Woods: An Environmentally Sound Approach to a Lost Art." Strangely absent from the running this year was the thought-provoking "Everything is really wet, even dry stuff."

An inmate's attempt to cook sausage in his toilet filled his unit with smoke, and caused an evacuation at a Washington prison. 130 inmates were evacuated when smoke was spotted coming from a sewer vent pipe. The smoke was traced back to the inmate's cell and he admitted to trying to heat up sausage in the stainless steel toilet. Toilet sausage? And I thought Pruno was disgusting.

It's like having a mobile refrigerator with a giant metal arm in my house. Best of all, she makes slightly less noise than a lawnmower.

Legislation may by 2016 restrict the paint color options for California residents looking for a new car. Black and all dark hues are currently on the banned list. The California Air Resources Board says that the climate control systems of dark-colored cars need to work harder than their lighter siblings — especially after sitting in the sun for a few hours.

Earlier this month, an expedition fertilized 300 square kilometers of the Atlantic Ocean with six metric tons of dissolved iron. This triggered a bloom of phytoplankton, which doubled their biomass within two weeks by taking in carbon dioxide from the seawater. The dead phytoplankton were then expected to sink to the ocean bed, dragging carbon along with them. Instead, the experiment turned into an example of how the food chain works, as the bloom was eaten by a swarm of hungry copepods. The huge swarm of copepods were in turn eaten by larger crustaceans called amphipods, which are often eaten by squid and whales. "I think we are seeing the last gasps of ocean iron fertilization as a carbon storage strategy," says Ken Caldeira of the Carnegie Institution at Stanford University. While the experiment failed to show ocean fertilization as a viable carbon storage strategy, it has pushed the old "My dog ate my homework" excuse to an unprecedented level.

Scrapping ideas such as constructing a mile-long plastic ball for containment or building a million cardboard "Mr. Slave" scarecrows, China has decided to battle their fiercely cute gerbil hordes with contraception-abortion pills. The exploding gerbil population is threatening the local desert ecosystem, forcing forestry officials in the city of Changji to start distributing the contraceptive pellets. "Besides pregnancy prevention, the drug can induce abortions and thus largely reduce their breeding rate," said Du Yuefei, head of the epidemic prevention section of the city's forestry bureau.

Sean Hodgson was convicted of murder in 1982. A recent DNA test proved he was innocent so he was released after spending 27 years in jail. His joy was short-lived however as he was struck by a taxi and needed to go to the hospital to get stitches in his face. His solicitor, Julian Young, said the accident was just one example of how hard it was for Mr Hodgson to adjust to life on the outside after 27 years of prison. "He's OK but I think he's struggling with life on the outside, and particularly in London. He's been in to see us and his spirits are up," he said. They must hail cabs with their faces in British prisons.

Keep your chin up. There's a 50% chance that it's only going to last a year or two.

Xytex International, a sperm bank, understands that the recession is hitting their customers in the pocket area, so they have started to offer stimulus packages. The packages seem to be purchaser oriented. Clients who want to start a family but are a little short on cash can now buy a vial of sperm at a $200 discount. Donors aren't being offered anything special like a room with chairs made from .50 cal cartridges, slippers that look like bear feet, or a TV with monster truck racing on continuous loop. "We're all feeling the effects of the economy and, especially for families seeking reproductive options, every dollar counts," said Xytex spokeswoman Danielle Moores.

andrewm_za writes "South Africa's Department of Home Affairs now encourages citizens to check whether they're deceased, online or by SMS, "to ensure that they have not been fraudulently declared dead on the population register. In an event that a person is registered as Deceased when still alive, they must report with an affidavit from a police station confirming that they are alive." This lack of confidence in their database comes a few years after the online marital status checker which came about after too many people were married to the wrong spouse. Both online checks sorely lack a Turing test."

Sherri Davidoff writes "In the great debates of Pirates vs. Ninjas and Emacs vs. Vi, there is one overarching question: Do Pirates and Ninjas use Emacs or Vi? Philosecurity has conducted countless hours of research, interviewed real ninjas and pirates in their natural environs, and launched intensive laboratory studies involving monkeys in order to bring you, our readers, the scientifically proven answers you demand. After thousands of hours and monkey brains, our scientists have reached the following conclusions: Pirates use Emacs and Ninjas Use Vi. Laboratory results showed that 92% of ninjas preferred vi, while fully 96% of pirates used emacs. In the wild, these numbers were even higher (94% and 97.5%, respectively)."

An Italian doctor, Claudio Vitale, completed a brain operation despite having a heart attack after realizing the patient would never recover if he stopped. Vitale started feeling pains in his chest half way through the operation but refused to stop. He had an angioplasty operation after he completed the brain surgery. I think I know who I want as my new preferred provider.

Sometimes fate is just around the corner.

Throw away your soap, detergent, and personal hygiene, the Japanese have invented odor-free underwear. Koichi Wakata, a Japanese astronaut living in the International Space Station, is testing the underwear created by textile experts at Japan Women's University in Tokyo. The shorts are designed to kill bacteria, absorb water, insulate the body and dry quickly. They also are flame-resistant, and anti-static. "The other astronauts become very sweaty, but he doesn't have any sweat. He didn't need to hang his clothes to dry. He can wear his trunks (underwear) more than a week," said Koji Yanagawa, an official with the Japanese Aerospace Exploration Agency.

They said the airline I was flying didn't exist.