After suffering a stroke, 69-year-old Ali Asghar was unlucky enough to get an ambulance driver who really, really, hated overtime. The driver allegedly refused to work beyond his shift and clocked out part-way through the trip to the hospital. Since it was 15 minutes past quitting time, the ambulance was taken to the depot where the next shift's driver took over and finally brought Mr. Asghar to the hospital. Asghar deteriorated during the drive and died soon after arriving at North Tees hospital's accident and emergency unit. An NHS source said, "Paramedics pride themselves on the public being able to feel they are in the best hands when they are called out to an emergency. If this person wanted a nine to five job he should not have become a paramedic. A couple of minutes in a life or death situation is a very long time. Skimming off just a few seconds from an emergency call-out can save lives — that's why ambulances are fitted with blue lights and sirens."

Forget about an old boot or a tire, Solomon Rodney caught an 8-foot-long missile on a recent fishing trip. Rodney tied the missile to the top of his boat and planned on keeping it as a souvenir. After contacting officials when he got ashore, it was determined that the missile was live. A bomb squad from MacDill Air Force Base was summoned, and the area was evacuated before the weapon was dismantled. Rodney says the Air Force told him not to pick up any more missiles. "They told me if you find another one, just let it go," he said.

It's the only way to keep him off the furniture.

An anonymous reader writes "Swedish newspaper Aftonbladet (in Swedish) reports that Henrik Pontén, a lawyer of Antipiratbyrån, a Swedish organization against file sharing, has received a notification from officials that an application for change of his name has been approved and a new first name 'Pirate' has been added to his name. Authorities do not check the identity of persons applying for name changes. Pirate Pontén now has to apply for another change in order to revert the change."

A large number of schools participating in a pay-for-grades program have seen test scores in reading and math go up by almost 40 percentage points. The Sparks program will pay seventh-graders up to $500 and fourth-graders as much as $250 for good performance on 10 assessment tests. About two-thirds of the 59 schools in the program improved their scores by margins above the citywide average. "It's an ego booster in terms of self-worth. When they get the checks, there's that competitiveness -- 'Oh, I'm going to get more money than you next time' -- so it's something that excites them," said Rose Marie Mills, principal at MS 343 in Mott Haven. Critics, who are unaware that most college students don't become liberal arts majors, argue that paying kids corrupts the notion of learning for education's sake alone.

If you are ever in Tokyo on a long trip and feel the need for a little cat companionship there is now a place for you. Cat Cafes are becoming more and more popular with cat fanciers, the elderly and people who don't quite dare take that leap into the furry community. For $9, a person can sit for an hour and sip hair-laden tea while one of the resident cats ignores or rubs itself against you. Some cat cafe rules include: customers may not hold or stroke a cat if it resists, you must let napping cats lie, and you can't bring cat nip or cat food to the cafe.

A group of researchers set out to discover what makes the ideal Bond girl. Why they did this is anybody's guess. Perhaps they had already determined how many fools Mr. T would pity on an average day. The team assessed the physical traits of all 195 female characters in the first 20 movies, then contrasted the characteristics of the 98 who had "sexual contact" with Bond with those of the 97 who did not. They found that the women Bond sleeps with tend to be younger, slimmer and more attractive than the women he does not. Amazing. "A majority of female characters engaged in some sexual activity, particularly those in major roles. And the great majority of sexual behaviors involved Bond himself," says the research team, led by Kimberly Neuendorf, professor of communication at Cleveland State University, Ohio.

This is an easy read compared to the Google directory.

An anonymous reader writes "Published today in the journal Current Biology, a new study shows that laughter is not a unique human trait, but a behavior shared by all great apes. Tickle a baby chimpanzee and it will giggle just like a human infant. This is because laughter evolved millions of years ago in one of our common ancestors, say scientists."

Scientists have found ten new emperor penguin colonies by spotting their skid marks on the Antarctic ice from satellite images (video on page). The ice around the penguins gets very dirty because they congregate in a small area in very large colonies for months. Peter Fretwell, Mapping Expert, British Antarctic Survey says, "What we find is that we can see the guano (excrement) from space. They stay in the same space in very large colonies for eight months of the year and the ice around them gets very dirty, and it's that that we can see on the satellite images."

Luiz writes "TorrentFreak has an hilarious report: 'Since 2005, a Brazilian senator has been pushing for tough new "cybercrime" legislation which would include measures against file-sharing. However, before thinking of unleashing new laws on the public, the government should look closer to home, since the senate's intranet is loaded with an impressive amount of warez.'"

Mike writes "Just in case your life needs more keyboards in it — Designers Dante Bonnucelli and Lamm have created an alpha-geek chaise constructed entirely from discarded computer keyboards. Wittily dubbed the 'Text-ile' chair, the design incorporates old computer keyboards from Voice Systems, a company which offers IT support to computer users with disabilities. It's not the most subtle design, but to keep it clean you need only break out that can of compressed air."

With Mr. Ravenblade, Mr. Xtreme, and Dark Guardian on patrol the streets are...probably just as dangerous as before but they are definitely a bit more awkward. Ever increasing numbers of average, everyday people are donning capes, masks, and boots to perform community service, help the homeless and even fight crime. "The movement is growing. A lot of them have gone through a sort of existential crisis and have had to discover who they are," said Ben Goldman, a real-life superhero historian.

Curt Carish made fish story history when he caught a fish with his bare hands with a ticking gold watch inside it. He was enjoying a picnic on Port Allen beach when he saw the nenue fish swimming strangely and close to shore. Curt caught the fish, put it in a cooler and later found the working watch next to the fish's mouth.

Trenchcoatjedi writes "A couple from Brooklyn, NY are planning the first wedding in zero gravity. The wedding will take place June 20th aboard a parabolic flight operated by Zero G Corp and will be officiated by Richard Garriott of Ultima fame. The dress is designed by a Japanese haute couture designer and is specifically intended to be worn in zero gravity. Even the wedding rings will be made from meteorite."

Australian teachers drew a fair bit of criticism from authorities when a mock class hanging left a student gasping for a new class project. The student fell from a table while his classmates were photographing a staged hanging as part of an English class project. The students and teachers ran to the boy and cut the rope when he fell, but not before he turned blue. "It beggars belief that such an incident could take place. I'm a parent. The last thing I've ever wanted any of my children to do is put a rope around their neck," Queensland state Education Minister Geoff Wilson said. Needless to say the Faux Gas Chamber that the children have been working on for the past semester has been put on indefinite hold.

Janine Sugawara was so shocked and dismayed when she learned that "Crunchberries" were not actual fruit that she sued, on behalf of herself and all other painfully ignorant people who thought Captain Crunch ran some sort of brightly colored berry farm. I can't imagine what she thought a Butterfinger was composed of. Common sense won in this instance when a judge of the US District Court for the Eastern District of California dismissed the lawsuit, saying "In this case ... while the challenged packaging contains the word 'berries' it does so only in conjunction with the descriptive term 'crunch.' This Court is not aware of, nor has Plaintiff alleged the existence of, any actual fruit referred to as a 'crunchberry.' Furthermore, the 'Crunchberries' depicted on the [box] are round, crunchy, brightly-colored cereal balls, and the [box] clearly states both that the Product contains 'sweetened corn & oat cereal' and that the cereal is 'enlarged to show texture.' Thus, a reasonable consumer would not be deceived into believing that the Product in the instant case contained a fruit that does not exist. ... So far as this Court has been made aware, there is no such fruit growing in the wild or occurring naturally in any part of the world."

I want to watch I believe in a thing called love next.

One of these things is not like the other.

According to scientists, city Great Tits prefer other city Great Tits over country Great Tits. (Lets act like adults). The researchers found that the city dwellers responded more strongly to songs of fellow city dwellers and the same held true for the bumpkins. The average minimum pitch of male Great Tit songs in noisy urban areas was higher than in quieter, rural areas just a few miles away. Dr Rupert Marshall, of Aberystwyth University, Wales, and his team recorded bird song in 20 different cities in Britain. He says, "People speak louder and higher in noisy places like pubs and bars but still recognise their friends' voices once they go outside. Great tits seem to learn the high notes from their neighbours but don't respond as strongly to lower rural tones even when it's quiet."