The best plan is often the simplest.

Spending some extreme quality time with dad.

An anonymous reader writes "Inhabitants of the planet Gliese 581d will need a radio receiver and the ability to interpret binary code if they are to understand a series of text messages to be sent from Australia. Hello from Earth will collect the messages over the next 12 days and transmit them to the closest Earth-like planet that has the potential to harbor life. All the messages will be collected and exported as a text file and sent to NASA's Jet Propulsion Laboratory in California, where it will be encoded into binary code, packaged and tested before transmission."

Privacy Gulag style.

Police say there is a good reason Canal Livre, a Brazilian crime show, always seems to be first on the scene when someone is murdered: the host ordered the killings. State legislator and host of the show Wallace Souza is under investigation for ordering at least five murders highlighted on the program. "The order to execute always came from the legislator and his son, who then alerted the TV crews to get to the scene before the police. [The killings] appear to have been committed to get rid of his rivals and increase the audience of the TV show," state police intelligence chief Thomaz Vasconcelos said.

In an effort to help Britain's declining bee population, the Royal Society for the Protection of Birds is urging gardeners to leave out a homemade energy drink for tired bees. The RSPB says that a mix of two tablespoons of sugar with a tablespoon of water makes a perfect bee-boosting drink. Val Osborne, head of wildlife inquiries at the RSPB, said, "Many people keep seeing bees on the ground and assume they are dead, but chances are they are having a rest. Much like us, a sugary drink could boost their energy levels and a simple sugar and water combination will be a welcome treat."

NASA plans on using $50 million in stimulus funds to seed development of a commercial passenger transportation service to space. Potential space taxi inventors have 45 days to submit their proposals. The proposals will be competitively evaluated and the winners will be announced by the end of September. It is unclear what other Commodore 64 games NASA plans on making a reality, but I hope Arkanoid makes the short list.

Looks like someone is going stag.

Six-year-old Miko Andres is the world's youngest sharp shooter. The title has earned Miko much fame in his native Philippines and the right to determine his own bedtime. The boy learned how to shoot from his family, who enjoy the sport of practical shooting. "It is within the family and friends that Miko was influenced to love and enjoy the practical shooting sport," says his father, Cresencio "Mike" Pascua Andres JR. "Because of his interest, we took turns in teaching, training and coaching him on the basics of the sport." Miko has gotten so good he hopes to travel to the US to compete in the USPSA 2009 national competition.

Okeke Ikechukwu, a 26-year-old man from Nigeria, has decided the best way to smother himself with love is to marry his pillow. Okeke says his severe stutter keeps him from being able to get a girlfriend and his pillow is his best option. "Since I am a stutterer, ladies have always laughed at me whenever I try to talk to them," he said. "I have needs, and so I have taken to sleeping with my pillow in my arms ever since I was 16. I have grown to fall in love with it, and I intend to spend the rest of my life with it."

Shane O'Neill writes "Ronald McDonald and the NBC Peacock may get more TV air time, but today's operating systems have cool logos, too. Google, Apple, Microsoft and the Linux crowd crafted mascots ranging from cute lizards to circles of life. In this slideshow, we look at the origins of the logos and look ahead to their future."

JamJam writes "Besides my beer gut, which I'm sure has some purpose, Wired is running a story on the 10 Worst Evolutionary Designs. Ranging from baby giraffes being dropped 5-foot during birth to Goliath bird-eating spiders that practically explode when they fall from trees."

musefrog writes "The BBC is reporting that the UK's Royal Opera House is to stage an opera created through social networking site Twitter. 'Members of the public have been invited to submit their 'tweets' online — messages of up to 140 characters — which will form the new libretto.The first scene of the as-yet-untitled work has already been completed and features a man who has been kidnapped by a group of birds. Excerpts will be performed at the Royal Opera House in September.' I'm personally looking forward to lots of idiotic net memes and inane emo ramblings being trilled out by aging sopranos."

Freshly Exhumed writes "Northwest Airlines, the major airline whose market branding is being phased out after it was acquired by Delta, charges that it has exclusive ownership of the common, geographically descriptive term northwest. The Minnesota-based airline is going after the operator of a small, Spokane Washington web site that provides tourist information for visitors to the Pacific Northwest. From the Seattle Post-Intelligencer, '[the site's owner] said he has so far spent more than $4,000 in the past few months to defend his site, and he's looking at thousands more going forward as he faces battles in the U.S., U.K., and Australia.' Presumably the Government of Canada will be the next Northwest target victim, what with their use of the term to name some of their Territories since 1870. I don't suppose Northwest can sue the world's cartographers, geocachers, boy scouts, etc. can they?"

Norsefire writes "A Parrot named Strawberry performed better than many humans in an investment competition. The human competitors were able to select any stock they wanted while the Parrot randomly selected the stocks with its beak. Strawberry had a 13.7% return, the human average was a 4.6% loss. Only two humans outperformed Strawberry."

bruce_the_loon writes "They have blamed viruses. They have blamed neighbors. They have accused police of planting it. In rare cases, they have admitted downloading it. This is the first time someone has accused a cat of downloading child porn onto their computer. This seems like a defense almost too stupid to be made up."

Finland finally has something besides Linus to brag about. They have proved that they can grin and bare it longer than any other people. Timo Kaukonen proudly took the gold medal at the World Sauna Championships on Saturday. Timo sat in a 110 degrees Celsius (230 degrees Fahrenheit) sauna for 3 minutes 46 seconds, beating out his closest competitor by 2 seconds. 150 people from more than 20 countries competed in this years event. Many birch branches knew what it was to be roasted in the depths of the sauna that day, I can tell you!

Cuba has suffered through many shortages through the years but is now faced with the worst possible scenario. If the government doesn't get some kind of help, Cubans will run out of toilet paper and have no way of getting more until the end of the year. Cuba makes some of its own paper but lacks sufficient natural resources to meet its own demand. In addition to the lack of resources, the government has had to reduce imports by 20% because of the poor financial climate. It sounds like the Cubans are going to end up with quite a mess on their hands.

Things are so bad in Arizona that legislators are considering selling the House and Senate buildings where they've met and worked for more than 50 years. Dozens of other state properties may also be sold. The plan is to sell the properties and then lease them back over several years before assuming ownership again. "We've mortgaged the legislative halls," said an exasperated state Rep. Steve Yarbrough, a Chandler Republican. "That just tells you how extraordinary the times are. To me, it's something we're going to have to do no matter how much we find it undesirable." I bet they could get a great price on the Grand Canyon.

NeoBeans writes "According to this article in the New York Times about the recent 'improvements' in military strikes by the Pakistani military it is revealed that they have dropped Google Earth as part of their target planning for a more precise technology. From the article, '... the air force has shifted from using Google Earth to more sophisticated images from spy planes and other surveillance aircraft, and has increased its use of laser-guided bombs. And no, you can't really find Osama Bin Laden using Google Maps either."