Sherri and Tom Milley may be the coolest parents in the world, at least in the eyes of their children. The Milley's were tired of having to help their children with hours of homework each night so they negotiated the "Milleys' Differentiated Homework Plan" with the school. The plan, which ensures their youngest two children will never have to do homework again, was signed by the children, parents and teachers. "It was a constant homework battle every night," Sherri told Canada's Globe and Mail newspaper. "It's hard to get a weeping child to take in math problems. They are tired. They shouldn't be working a second shift."

d'Armond Speers has a doctorate in computational linguistics but that wasn't enough for him. He is now pursuing the coveted "World's Worst Dad" title. To this end he has decided to treat his child like a verengan Ha'DIbaH and speak only Klingon around the child for the first 3 years of his life. "I was interested in the question of whether my son, going through his first language acquisition process, would acquire it like any human language," Speers told the Minnesota Daily. "He was definitely starting to learn it."

Congressman Emanuel Cleaver (D-MO), who grew up with the rest of his 149 member family living in a shoe box in the middle of the road, would like everyone to stop complaining next Wednesday. He's co-sponsored House Concurrent Resolution 155, which designates the day before Thanksgiving as "Complaint Free Wednesday." He states, "From time to time, we all experience anxiety, frustration, stress, and regret. And often, we respond to these feelings with a criticism or a complaint. Regrettably, complaining keeps people stuck on current problems, inhibiting them from thinking constructively to find solutions. Research has also shown that complaining can be harmful to one’s emotional and physical health; relationships; and can limit professional career success."

MikeChino writes "Working in partnership with the US Army Corp of Engineers, Berry Plastics has rolled out a new breed of bomb-proof wallpaper. Dubbed the X-Flex Blast Protection System, the wallpaper is so effective that a single layer can keep a wrecking ball from smashing through a brick wall, and a double layer can stop blunt objects (i.e. a flying 2×4) from knocking down drywall. According to its designers, covering an entire room takes less than an hour."

PETA found a way to make sure nobody would ever eat pork again. The organization asked permission to bring a pretend pig farm with real pigs, and 3,500 buckets filled with pig urine and waste to the US Capitol plaza. The plan would have worked too, if it hadn't been for those darn Capitol Police, and the fact that pigs are so delicious.

Robert James is suing Butler County sheriff’s deputy Daron Rhoads, wildlife officer James Tunnell, and a third, unknown officer, alleging that they redecorated his house while they searched it. Unlike most home redecoration projects, the officers seem to focus on his girlfriend’s sex toys, which they turned on and left in plain sight “for James to see that they had found them." James says they also did the same with some porno tapes, unlocked all of his weapons and ammunition, leaving them strewn in insecure locations around the house. And worst of all, they “placed a hat, Christmas lights and goggles on deer antlers that were affixed to James’ wall.”

17-year-old Kevin Anderson has spent 200 hours cleaning up a park in Allentown, New Jersey in pursuit of his Eagle Scout badge. His blatant disregard for the brotherhood and collective bargaining power of the local Service Employees International Union however has not gone unnoticed. Union president Nick Balzano told the City Council that the union is considering filing a grievance against the city for allowing the scout to clear a 1,000' path at the park. "We'll be looking into the Cub Scout or Boy Scout who did the trails," Balzano said.

circletimessquare writes "Nathan Myhrvold, former CTO of Microsoft, is self-publishing a cook book with scientific underpinnings. The man who presided over the original iterations of Windows has built a laboratory kitchen, hired 5 chefs, and plays with misplaced lab equipment: using an autoclave as a pressure cooker, using a 100-ton hydraulic press to make beef jerky, and using an ultrasonic welder for... he's not sure yet. The article includes a video on how to cryosear and cryorender duck. 'It's basically like a software project,' Dr. Myhrvold said. 'It's very much like a review we would do at Microsoft.' Is it possible to BSoD food?"

A French hotel is offering a unique opportunity for pathological hamster lovers everywhere. For 99 euros a day a guest can stay in the "Hamster Villa," where they can eat hamster grain, run inside a giant wheel, and sleep in a pile of hay. "The hamster in the world of children is that little cuddly animal. Often, the adults who come here have wanted or did have hamsters when they were small," said owner Yann Falquerho, who was dressed as a hamster.

Anyone eating kabobs in Moscow might want to stop right now. Police have arrested a group of homeless cannibals who have been selling bits of people to a kabob shop. "After carrying out the crime, the corpse was divided up: part was eaten and part was also sold to a kiosk selling kebabs and pies," said a statement from the Prosecutor-General's main investigative unit for the Perm region.

54-year-old Lawrence Demaio didn't think a ticket he received from a trooper was fair so he did what any reasonable person would. He called the New York State Trooper's mom. Demaio told the woman that her son "was involved in a serious car crash and was at Mercy Hospital." He hung up on her after she started asking questions. An investigation revealed that the calls came from Lawrence and phone records showed that he even called her old number first.

coondoggie writes "A Tang soufflé perhaps? Yum. A new book out this week will tell you everything you wanted to know about cooking and eating in space. The Astronaut's Cookbook: Tales, Recipes, and More — penned by NASA veterans Charles Bourland and Gregory Vogt — offers up a number of recipes as well a history of space feasting just in time for Thanksgiving, if you are so inclined. The book includes a number of interesting space food facts: Soviet cosmonaut Gherman Titov was the first human to consume food in space."

destinyland writes "A science writer discovered it's possible to finance your cryogenic preservation using life insurance — and then leave a huge death benefit to your future thawed self. From the article, 'Most in the middle class, if they seriously want it, can afford it now. So by taking the right steps, you can look forward to waking up one bright future morning from cryopreservation the proud owner of a bank account brimming with money!' There's one important caveat: some insist that money 'will have no meaning in a future dominated by advanced molecular manufacturing or other engines of mega-abundance.'"

oatworm writes "From ForeignPolicy.com, 'Six years after a civil war that killed 250,000 and displaced hundreds of thousands more, justice is at the top of Liberia's list of needs. But in this small West African country of 3.5 million, the problem isn't a lack of courtrooms or trained lawyers. Liberia is wanting for the actual laws themselves. The country's legal code doesn't exist in print except for a few mismatched volumes here and there, sequestered in incomplete sets in libraries in the capital, Monrovia. And right now, as far as legal advocates can tell, even Liberia's national parliament doesn't have a full copy of the law. Why not? Because the few volumes that do exist have been quietly copyrighted — and subsequently held ransom — by the man in charge of Liberia's legal reform. Across the country, lawyers, courtrooms, and even the government are operating blindly; it's impossible to be certain if they are following a legal code they don't have.'"

Noishe writes "A man involved in a motorcycle accident in the UK has been given an alternative to the dreaded colostomy bag. He now carries around a remote control to activate his "bionic bottom" made out of muscles taken from above his knee. The muscles were wrapped around his sphincter and then attached to electrodes that are controlled by a remote control he now carries in his pocket."

Stephen Scott, director of research at the National Academy for Parenting Practitioners, says that lesbian couples have traditional couples licked when it comes to raising children. He cites research that suggests children with two female parents are more aspirational than those with opposite-sex parents. From the article, "Research at Birkbeck College, part of London University, and Clark University in Massachusetts suggests that same-sex couples make good parents because children cannot be conceived accidentally — parents must make an active decision to adopt or find a sperm donor. "

100 years ago, British polar explorer Sir Ernest Shackleton had to abandon his 1909 Antarctic expedition. Among the items left behind were two crates of McKinlay and Co. whiskey, now the company has decided it would like them back. A team from New Zealand's Antarctic Heritage Trust will try to drill down to the crates, frozen in Antarctic ice under the Nimrod Expedition hut near Cape Royds. Sounds like this would go great with some Titanic cigars.

A group of Colombian culinary students have come up with a dish that combines the two things they like best, prescription drugs and dessert. Their creation mixes a slightly sweet passion fruit preparation with some Viagra for texture. "We got the idea four months ago when we were dealing with a nutrition project for older people. It occurred to us that we could use passion fruit, with all its connotations.. and Viagra, and we came up with this dessert," aspiring chef Juan Sebastian Gomez said at an international gastronomy fair.

A judge has ruled that 46-year-old quadriplegic James Cap has the right to bear arms even though he is, "physically unable to hold a gun or pull a trigger." Cap was an avid hunter until a spinal injury sustained in a college football game left him wheelchair bound. He applied for a gun permit in May 2007 and was turned down by the Manville, New Jersey police because he "couldn't’t control, load or unload a firearm himself." James is now looking for a suitable weapon to use in the upcoming deer season.

An anonymous reader writes "CNET demonstrates that the internet is actually slower than every major animal. It's even slower than the apocryphal tortoise over a mile. In order to prove this they 'pitted the world's top animals against the Web over a one-mile course, transferring 32GB of data.' The results of the experiment showed the Internet to be the worst way to transfer data over short distances. 'If you put 32GB of data on a bite-proof USB key and strapped it to a cheetah, for example, it would be available to read at the destination 11 times faster than the Internet. The cheetah takes 30.9 minutes, the Internet over 6 hours!' Pigeon, horse and dog also perform very well at transferring 32GB of data, and even the lowly rat is over 8 times faster than the internet. CNET suggests the internet 'should hang its head in shame over its ranking in the one-mile speed test.'" Since it's already been proven that a pigeon was faster, I guess it was time to quantify mammals.