For some people a marriage is not official until it is recognized by family, church, state, and Facebook.

Vainglorious Coward writes "Polygraph 'expert' Bruce Burgess who has worked with several trashTV shows has received a suspended sentence for lying to police about a traffic offense. Burgess, whose website promises 'testing your honesty in the only way possible' pleaded guilty to perverting the course of justice after lying about being the driver recorded by a speed camera. It appears that good old-fashioned police work is what broke the case, rather than any technological chicanery, with the police officer commenting 'my advice is — put your hands up at the first opportunity.'"

Scientists at the University of Montreal would love to compare the views of men in their 20s who had never been exposed to pornography with regular porn watchers. The problem is, they can't find a man in that age category who has never seen it. “We started our research seeking men in their 20s who had never consumed pornography,” said Professor Simon Louis Lajeunesse. “We couldn't find any.”

heychris writes "You've gotta love the Chicago Tribune's story on Tesla Coil hobbyists from the first sentence. 'Under a starry Saturday sky behind a Lake Zurich warehouse, three men unload a small flamethrower, electric cabling, neon-tube "light sabers," about 80 pounds of chain mail and two 7-foot devices that look like monster-movie props.' So what does one do with 1.6 million volts and a Tesla coil or two? Play 110dB music, of course."

Police are searching for a pair of suspects who tried to rob a funeral home that they mistook for a bank. The men assaulted a worker before another employee informed them that they weren't in a bank. It appears the pair learned from their mistake, as they are believed to have successfully robbed a nearby bank later.

Employees at a Marietta, Ohio Goodwill store were surprised to find four bags of marijuana when they opened a donated water jug. According to police the gift that keep on giving had a street value of $1500. "If anybody would like to come in and claim this 'cooler,' which is probably an antique, we would love to have them come in and we'll be more than happy to try and get that cooler returned to them," Marietta Police Capt. Jeff Waite said.

trianglecat writes "The not-for-profit agency Canadian Blood Services has a section of their website based on the Japanese cultural belief of ketsueki-gata, which claims that a person's blood group determines or predicts their personality type. Disappointing for a self-proclaimed 'science-based' organization. The Ottawa Skeptics, based in the nation's capital, appear to be taking some action."

The Bears will be remembered as innovative rappers long after we've forgotten their footballing ways.

Italian police have crashed their 165,000-euro Lamborghini patrol car. Reports say the car swerved to avoid another vehicle that had crossed its path, and smashed into two parked cars. One of the officers suffered a broken rib, the other only had minor injuries. The Lamborghini was damaged beyond repair.

The boss of an unnamed 31-year-old South Florida woman needs to give her a raise or at least pay her bail. Police say the woman called the Miami International Airport claiming there was a bomb on one of the planes so her boss would not miss his flight. The woman was being held on $7,500 bail.

The small central Australian community of Docker River is experiencing a Camelpocalypse. Over 6,000 feral camels are destroying the town. They've overrun the airport (making emergency medical service impossible), ruined the water infrastructure, tainted drinking water, and left many residents afraid to leave home for fear of being trampled. NT Local Government Minister Rob Knight said, "They're actually coming up to the houses taking water off the overflow from the rooftop air-conditioning. This is a very critical situation out there, it's very unusual and it needs urgent action.'' At least the camels aren't encouraging kids to smoke like they do here in the US.

Ramchandra Das spent the last 14 years creating a hole through a mountain with a hammer and chisel so he could park his truck in front of his house. Das lives in a remote mountainous region and had to leave his truck miles away from his house. A fear of thieves prompted him to ask local authorities for help with a tunnel; when they refused he started the job himself. "We rarely come across a man who can work so hard to achieve his goal," said Prabhat Kumar Jha, a local government official.

LoneHighway writes "Salon.com has a write up of what is being called an epic feat of Nerdity, the "Trinity, Help!" scene from The Matrix has been recreated using only Legos. It took 440 hours for Trevor Boyd and Steve Ilett to create Lego Matrix Trinity Help, which is a perfect shot-by-shot remake of a short but memorable scene from the Wachowski Brothers’ masterpiece, executed via stop-motion animation and a nearly infinite amount of Legos. They even provide a split screen comparison to the original. Very cool!"

cheros writes "No, it's not a new game, and it's not a new Linux distro either (although it would be quite a name), it's beer. What's more, it's not your average new taste either, it's incredibly strong stuff with 32% alcohol. Please do not drink too much of this, or you'll become too risky to cremate."

Overlooking the hundreds of qualified researchers already on campus, Leeds University has advertised for a lap dance research officer. The advertisement states that the job will fall under the School of Sociology and Social Policy, and is for, "Research Officer - The rise and regulation of lap dancing and the place of sexual labor and consumption in the night time economy. Prior experience of conducting research in the female sex industry is essential." The researcher will have to interview 300 erotic dancers and should be aware of body shot etiquette.

A 32-year-old Berkeley woman sat on the bus next to what she thought was an admirer. "He kept saying how my teeth were beautiful, like the moon and the stars," she says. Her mood quickly changed however, when he continued to stare at her teeth and said, "I want them." The woman decided to get off at the next stop, and that's where her memory gets hazy. The next thing she remembers is being on her knees and bleeding profusely from where her front teeth used to be. At least she's not an albino in east Africa.

The Red Cross has released a report estimating that 10,000 albinos are hiding in east Africa over fears that their body parts will be sold to witch doctors. Many are trying to flee the country but fear traveling in the open. In that part of Africa it is believed by many that albino body parts will bring wealth and good luck. Tanzanian police have even set up emergency shelters to protect them from attacks. "Thousands more albinos across a huge swathe of countryside ... are unable to move freely to trade, study or cultivate fields for fear of albino hunters," the International Federation of Red Cross and Red Crescent Societies said. It seems surreal to me that there are places left in the world were one literally has to keep an eye out for Spine Thieves.

A Massachusetts woman received something other than another green bean casserole for Thanksgiving this year. She got a World War II hand grenade. Instead of finding a wine that would pair nicely with the grenade, the woman brought it to the local police station where the bomb squad determined it was missing a blasting cap and could not explode.

some_guy_88 writes "A grandmother used the internet to search 'pre-meditated + murder + penalties' shortly before her ex-partner was found strangled in a lounge chair west of Brisbane, a court has been told. She has pleaded not guilty. From the article: 'Opening the case to the jury this morning, Crown prosecutor Danny Boyle said Hughes and Mr Stewart had been separated, but remained living together at their property at Sommerholm, near Laidley. He said Hughes killed Mr Stewart because she believed he was having an affair with a 26-year-old woman who sometimes joined him on shooting trips.'"

If it's true the story is simple. According to David, Simon hires David to design a logo and make some graphs. Simon never pays him but asks for extra work for free. A truly hilarious email exchange ensues. According to Simon, Dave is a raving lunatic and a liar.