Craig "Lazie" Lynch has been on the run from a U.K. prison since September. However, he continues to taunt police by updating his Facebook status. Now he is threatening to quit. From the article: "It seems, though, that late Sunday, Lynch began experiencing a little emotional pain. In what must have been an almost teary update, he posted: 'right I'm coming off this page as I have better things to do.' Who might have imagined that, in his mysterious hideaway, Lynch had something better to do than continue his run as a Facebook attraction?"

Officials on The Isle of Man have learned that the best way to fight crime isn't to take away freedom, it's to take away cigarettes. There has been a 14% drop in crime since the island opened Europe's only completely no smoking prison in August 2008. "It's a standing joke now that when we nick someone we remind them that if they get sent down they'll have to come off the cigarettes — their faces are a picture. It's like they are more scared about giving up smoking than a criminal record and some time in the nick," said a police source.

An anonymous reader writes "Faced with an agency-wide phone upgrade that left fifty older HTC devices homeless, UK-based Lost Boys International decided to act on instinct in the most natural of ways: by turning each device into a cog in a musical mobile that hangs just inside the entrance of its Brick Lane studio. Even better, all those phones are connected in a way that turns each one into a member of some crazy techno orchestra, the results of which can be seen after the break in an unbelievably fun rendition of a Christmas song you're bound to hear a dozen more times today."

An anonymous reader writes "A black man found that his HP facial-tracking recognition software wouldn't work. Then he discovered it worked fine for a white co-worker. From the article: 'HP's Tony Welch thanked Desi and Wanda, the video's creators, and promised that he and the team at HP were looking into why the camera was behaving the way it was. "The technology we use is built on standard algorithms that measure the difference in intensity of contrast between the eyes and the upper cheek and nose," he said. "We believe that the camera might have difficulty 'seeing' contrast in conditions where there is insufficient foreground lighting."'"

Father Tim Jones has said to hell with the 8th commandment and advised the poor in his church to shoplift if they can't afford to feed their families. He said, "My advice, as a Christian priest, is to shoplift. I do not offer such advice because I think that stealing is a good thing, or because I think it is harmless, for it is neither. I would ask that they do not steal from small family businesses but from large, national businesses, knowing that the costs are ultimately passed on to the rest of us in the form of higher prices. I would ask them not to take any more than they need, for any longer than they need.I offer the advice with a heavy heart and wish society would recognize that bureaucratic ineptitude and systematic delay has created an invitation and incentive to crime for people struggling to cope." Of course, church leaders, business owners, and the police strongly disagree with the father's moral relativism.

Chinese Police spent a tense hour in a stand-off with a suicide bomber before it was discovered that the bomber's dynamite was actually sausage. 23-year-old Sing He threatened to blow up a restaurant, all its customers, and himself unless he received the contents of the cash register. The bomb unit called in eventually determined that the device He had was assembled with pork products. "When we saw what he had round his waist we couldn't help laughing. Some of the sausages still had the wrappers on them," said one bomb squad officer. "It must have been terrifying for the customers but those things would only have gone off if you'd kept them past their sell by date."

Angela Mejia had to call the police on her 14-year-old son to get him to stop playing Grand Theft Auto. Police managed to convince the teen that 2:30 am was too late, and there would be plenty of hookers to beat in the morning. Mrs. Mejia said, “Sometimes I want to run away, too. I have support from my church, but I’m alone. I want to help my son, but I can’t find a way.” I guess it is illegal to throw away game consoles in the land of parental irresponsibility where the Meijias live.

maccallr writes "The DarwinTunes experiment needs you! Using an evolutionary algorithm and the ears of you the general public, we've been evolving a four bar loop that started out as pretty dismal primordial auditory soup and now after >27k ratings and 200 generations is sounding pretty good. Given that the only ingredients are sine waves, we're impressed. We got some coverage in the New Scientist CultureLab blog but now things have gone quiet and we'd really appreciate some Slashdotter idle time. We recently upped the maximum 'genome size' and we think that the music is already benefiting from the change."

andylim writes "There are many potential uses for augmented reality technology including creating cool games and browsers but Stella has used this advanced technology to resolve that age old question — where can I find beer? Or to be more specific, where can I find Belgian beer? The app even finds you a taxi for when you've had enough and need to get home."

192939495969798999 writes "Here's a brief story about a man who has built a 767 simulator in his home. This simulator differs from others that I've seen by having a pretty clean, professional console and layout, and what appear to be authentic displays. According to the article it cost more than £10,000 to install."

langelgjm writes "The Washington Post reports that during Saturday's record-breaking snowfall, hundreds of twenty- and thirty-somethings gathered in a mostly-empty area of the city and proceeded to have an enormous snowball fight. Things were all fun and games until a D.C. detective in plainclothes stopped in the middle of the fight, leaving his Hummer and confronting the crowd with his gun drawn. At first, D.C. police denied the claims, but the incident was caught on tape. The detective is currently on desk duty pending an investigation."

JamJam writes "The Supreme Court of Canada has taken away a $200,000 insurance award made to a Vancouver man who became paralyzed after a series of medical calamities arising from him having unprotected sex. The man was 'accidentally' infected with genital herpes which lead to him being totally paralyzed from his mid-abdomen down. The Supreme Court deemed this a non-accident since the man was was aware that having unprotected sex could result in him contracting a sexually transmitted disease, although he did not actually know that any of the women had genital herpes."

An anonymous reader sends in news of what must be some kind of record in overreaching intellectual property claims: the Vatican has declared that the name, image, and any symbols of the Pope are for exclusive use of the Holy See. They may have a point if, as the declaration hints, some have used "ecclesiastical or pontifical symbols and logos to attribute credibility and authority to initiatives" unrelated to the Vatican. But how much room will they allow for fair use? Will high school newspapers have to remove the Papal Coat of Arms from their Vatican news columns? The royalty schedule was not released, so it's not clear how much Slashdot will have to pay to run this story (or if there will be a penalty for the accompanying pagan idol).

In perhaps one of the finest displays of technological excess in automotive communications gear, one "enthusiast" has managed to cram over $25,000 worth of gear into a $500 car. The car is rigged for just about every conceivable communications band including FM, UHF, VHF, HF, and WTF. What other amazing displays of technological excess have others seen? "The equipment seems to cover an amazing array of technologies, many of which seem to be redundant. For instance, just how many handheld 144 MHz radios do you need? It seems like the owner of the Ham Car is capable of listening to every police/fire/ems/military channel in the world. Simultaneously. There's a laptop and we assume there's some form of cellular or satellite communication setup for that, too."

theodp writes "A newly disclosed Microsoft patent application — Avatar Individualized by Physical Characteristic — takes aim at fat people, proposing to generate fat avatars in gaming environments for individuals whose health records indicate they're overweight, limiting their game play, and even banning them. From the patent application: 'An undesirable body weight could be reflected in an overweight or underweight appearance for the avatar. Only requisite health levels are allowed to compete in a certain competition level. A dedicated gamer could exercise for a period of time until his health indicator gadget shows a sufficiently high health/health credit in order to allow reentering the avatar environment.' Linking one's gaming avatar to one's physique, explains Microsoft, will produce healthy and virtuous behaviors in individuals. Microsoft also proposes shaping gaming experiences by using 'psychological and demographic information such as education level, geographic location, age, sex, intelligence quotient, socioeconomic class, occupation, marital/relationship status, religious belief, political affiliation, etc.'"

An Ohio restaurant, Melt Bar & Grilled, is offering anyone who gets a grilled cheese sandwich tattoo a 25% discount. The establishment specializes in putting a new spin on the old lunchtime favorite. The discount, like the shame of getting a grilled cheese tattoo, lasts a lifetime.

When an UK man was asked to be the best man at a friend's wedding he agreed that he would not pull any pranks before or during the ceremony. Now the groom wishes he had extended the agreement to after the blessed occasion as well. The best man snuck into the newlyweds' house while they were away on their honeymoon and placed a pressure-sensitive device under their mattress. The device now automatically tweets when the couple have sex. The updates include the length of activity and how vigorous the act was on a scale of 1-10.

darthvader100 writes "Gizmodo has run an article with some predictions on what future space battles will be like. The author brings up several theories on propulsion (and orbits), weapons (explosives, kinetic and laser), and design. Sounds like the ideal shape for spaceships will be spherical, like the one in the Hitchhiker's Guide movie."

Canadian federal prison guards will no longer have to draw straws to see who gets to do the most hated job in prison, search feces for contraband. Their savior is a specially designed toilet called the Drugloo. According to the company website, "feces are washed into an attached recovery container by automatic sprays. There water and anti-microbial fluids are used to separate and wash any drug packages. The package then goes into a sealed chute and from there is dropped directly into an evidence container, without anyone having touched the item."

More than 1,000 followers of a multi-religious sect in northern India have decided to buck traditional wisdom and turn whores into housewives in an attempt to help them escape exploitation. The group (DSS) claims their pledge will also help stop the spread of AIDS. It is estimated that 40%-50% of women working in red light districts in large cities are HIV carriers. Dr Aditya Insan, a senior DSS functionary, said, "This will have to be a slow and delicately handled process. Many women are HIV-positive. Some have young children and are understandably concerned about their future. We need to ensure these women are protected legally once they are married."