A funeral home in Rome, Georgia has decided to give back to the community this holiday season by offering free burials to impaired drivers who die in accidents. Between now and noon Thursday, you can sign a contract stating you plan to drink or take drugs and then drive on New Year's Eve. If you are lucky enough to be in a fatal accident, McGuire, Jennings and Miller Funeral Home will pay for your funeral. Services included in the package are a casket, grave, limousine and preparation of remains.

A pharmaceutical company is offering a free trip to Mexico to anyone willing to test their new diarrhea drug. Almost 1000 volunteers will be able to have some fun in the sun on Intercell's dime as long as they wear a patch that delivers the new drug, and they agree to regular testing should they fall ill. Nigel Thomas, clinical director of Intercell, said: "We are looking for people who have already planned to go to Mexico or Guatemala and think this would add another interesting aspect. We cover their expenses – flights and accommodation – nothing beyond that. It is almost like going on a package holiday. They will be met by a concierge who will take them to their hotel and arrange for them to give their first blood sample within 48 hours."

An anonymous reader writes "Apparently an avid Lifehacker reader, a guy named Dietrich managed to drop his Palm Pre in a puddle and didn't realize for half an hour. You would think that after a thirty-minute soak the Pre would be dead, but Dietrich remembered a tip on Lifehacker involving uncooked rice to dry out wet gadgets. 'I remembered articles on Lifehacker about what to do so I immediately popped the battery out and dried the phone. When I got home I put my Palm Pre in a bag of rice for ten hours. Adding insult to injury, I forgot to take the phone battery out of my pocket and put it through the washing machine. Ten hours later I'm typing this on my Pre. Good job Palm on making an excellent phone.'"

A couple got stuck in snow for three days after letting their SUV's navigation system guide them through the high desert of Eastern Oregon. The pair found themselves stranded on a remote forest road in the Winema-Fremont National Forest. After three days, atmospheric conditions changed enough for their GPS-enabled cell phone to get a weak signal, and they could call for help. "GPS almost did 'em in and GPS saved 'em," Klamath County Sheriff Tim Evinger said. "It will give you options to pick the shortest route. You certainly get the shortest route. But it may not be a safe route."

An Orlando thief with no regard for his hardening arteries stole $40k in cheesecake and a refrigerated truck. Police currently have no leads in the case but are on the lookout for my aunt Gloria.

Scores of New Yorkers celebrated the third annual Good Riddance Day in Times Square by throwing bad memories into an industrial shredder. Most people put in bills, love letters, newspapers or photographs. A dumpster and sledgehammer were available for items that couldn't be shredded. The winner of this year's $250 prize for most creative shredding was 12-year-old Alissa Yankelevits of Los Angeles. She shredded the memory of a counselor on a school trip who was featured on the America's Most Wanted. "I just spent a week with him," Alissa said. "It was really terrifying because I just found that out."

Forget tubes, saucers, Flexible Flyers or Ziffy-Whompers: the discerning sledding enthusiast now has an option from Porsche. The £328 sled features an aluminum racing frame, stainless steel runners, and a black imitation leather seat complete with the Porsche logo. A Porsche spokesman said: "The new aluminum sledge with stainless steel runners was created by the Porsche Design Studio. A practical folding mechanism ensures that the sledge is ready to hit the snow in seconds, so nothing stands in the way of winter sledging fun."

Craig "Lazie" Lynch has been on the run from a U.K. prison since September. However, he continues to taunt police by updating his Facebook status. Now he is threatening to quit. From the article: "It seems, though, that late Sunday, Lynch began experiencing a little emotional pain. In what must have been an almost teary update, he posted: 'right I'm coming off this page as I have better things to do.' Who might have imagined that, in his mysterious hideaway, Lynch had something better to do than continue his run as a Facebook attraction?"

Officials on The Isle of Man have learned that the best way to fight crime isn't to take away freedom, it's to take away cigarettes. There has been a 14% drop in crime since the island opened Europe's only completely no smoking prison in August 2008. "It's a standing joke now that when we nick someone we remind them that if they get sent down they'll have to come off the cigarettes — their faces are a picture. It's like they are more scared about giving up smoking than a criminal record and some time in the nick," said a police source.

An anonymous reader writes "Faced with an agency-wide phone upgrade that left fifty older HTC devices homeless, UK-based Lost Boys International decided to act on instinct in the most natural of ways: by turning each device into a cog in a musical mobile that hangs just inside the entrance of its Brick Lane studio. Even better, all those phones are connected in a way that turns each one into a member of some crazy techno orchestra, the results of which can be seen after the break in an unbelievably fun rendition of a Christmas song you're bound to hear a dozen more times today."

An anonymous reader writes "A black man found that his HP facial-tracking recognition software wouldn't work. Then he discovered it worked fine for a white co-worker. From the article: 'HP's Tony Welch thanked Desi and Wanda, the video's creators, and promised that he and the team at HP were looking into why the camera was behaving the way it was. "The technology we use is built on standard algorithms that measure the difference in intensity of contrast between the eyes and the upper cheek and nose," he said. "We believe that the camera might have difficulty 'seeing' contrast in conditions where there is insufficient foreground lighting."'"

Father Tim Jones has said to hell with the 8th commandment and advised the poor in his church to shoplift if they can't afford to feed their families. He said, "My advice, as a Christian priest, is to shoplift. I do not offer such advice because I think that stealing is a good thing, or because I think it is harmless, for it is neither. I would ask that they do not steal from small family businesses but from large, national businesses, knowing that the costs are ultimately passed on to the rest of us in the form of higher prices. I would ask them not to take any more than they need, for any longer than they need.I offer the advice with a heavy heart and wish society would recognize that bureaucratic ineptitude and systematic delay has created an invitation and incentive to crime for people struggling to cope." Of course, church leaders, business owners, and the police strongly disagree with the father's moral relativism.

Chinese Police spent a tense hour in a stand-off with a suicide bomber before it was discovered that the bomber's dynamite was actually sausage. 23-year-old Sing He threatened to blow up a restaurant, all its customers, and himself unless he received the contents of the cash register. The bomb unit called in eventually determined that the device He had was assembled with pork products. "When we saw what he had round his waist we couldn't help laughing. Some of the sausages still had the wrappers on them," said one bomb squad officer. "It must have been terrifying for the customers but those things would only have gone off if you'd kept them past their sell by date."

Angela Mejia had to call the police on her 14-year-old son to get him to stop playing Grand Theft Auto. Police managed to convince the teen that 2:30 am was too late, and there would be plenty of hookers to beat in the morning. Mrs. Mejia said, “Sometimes I want to run away, too. I have support from my church, but I’m alone. I want to help my son, but I can’t find a way.” I guess it is illegal to throw away game consoles in the land of parental irresponsibility where the Meijias live.

maccallr writes "The DarwinTunes experiment needs you! Using an evolutionary algorithm and the ears of you the general public, we've been evolving a four bar loop that started out as pretty dismal primordial auditory soup and now after >27k ratings and 200 generations is sounding pretty good. Given that the only ingredients are sine waves, we're impressed. We got some coverage in the New Scientist CultureLab blog but now things have gone quiet and we'd really appreciate some Slashdotter idle time. We recently upped the maximum 'genome size' and we think that the music is already benefiting from the change."

andylim writes "There are many potential uses for augmented reality technology including creating cool games and browsers but Stella has used this advanced technology to resolve that age old question — where can I find beer? Or to be more specific, where can I find Belgian beer? The app even finds you a taxi for when you've had enough and need to get home."

192939495969798999 writes "Here's a brief story about a man who has built a 767 simulator in his home. This simulator differs from others that I've seen by having a pretty clean, professional console and layout, and what appear to be authentic displays. According to the article it cost more than £10,000 to install."

langelgjm writes "The Washington Post reports that during Saturday's record-breaking snowfall, hundreds of twenty- and thirty-somethings gathered in a mostly-empty area of the city and proceeded to have an enormous snowball fight. Things were all fun and games until a D.C. detective in plainclothes stopped in the middle of the fight, leaving his Hummer and confronting the crowd with his gun drawn. At first, D.C. police denied the claims, but the incident was caught on tape. The detective is currently on desk duty pending an investigation."

JamJam writes "The Supreme Court of Canada has taken away a $200,000 insurance award made to a Vancouver man who became paralyzed after a series of medical calamities arising from him having unprotected sex. The man was 'accidentally' infected with genital herpes which lead to him being totally paralyzed from his mid-abdomen down. The Supreme Court deemed this a non-accident since the man was was aware that having unprotected sex could result in him contracting a sexually transmitted disease, although he did not actually know that any of the women had genital herpes."

An anonymous reader sends in news of what must be some kind of record in overreaching intellectual property claims: the Vatican has declared that the name, image, and any symbols of the Pope are for exclusive use of the Holy See. They may have a point if, as the declaration hints, some have used "ecclesiastical or pontifical symbols and logos to attribute credibility and authority to initiatives" unrelated to the Vatican. But how much room will they allow for fair use? Will high school newspapers have to remove the Papal Coat of Arms from their Vatican news columns? The royalty schedule was not released, so it's not clear how much Slashdot will have to pay to run this story (or if there will be a penalty for the accompanying pagan idol).