Connecticut police say the world's laziest bank robbers decided it would be a good idea to call ahead so the bank could have their money ready for them. From the article: "You can't make this stuff up," said Sgt. James Perez, Fairfield police spokesman. "They literally called the bank and said to have the bag of money ready on the floor because they're coming to rob the place. And then they actually show up as the police were rolling in. I would classify these individuals as, `Not-too-bright.' They should have spent time in school instead of trying to rob a bank."

It may not be the movie he wants, but it's the one he deserves.

25-year-old Floridian Sylvester Jiles needed a safe place to hide after being released from prison so he chose the safest place he could think of, jail. Jiles accepted a plea deal on a manslaughter charge after the 2007 shooting death of a 19-year-old, and was sentenced to eight years of probation. Three days before his release Jiles begged officers to take him back in custody, because he feared retaliation from the victim's family. When they denied his request, he tried to scale a 12-foot fence at the detention center. He was arrested and convicted of trespassing on jail property and resisting an officer. A judge sentenced him to 15 years in prison for violating his probation on Monday.

yakatz writes "Even if this wouldn't actually cause the traffic camera's picture-parsing computer to drop a table, it would at least cover the license plate. Looks like an interesting idea."

I have to give him credit for smashing the vases to get the medicine, and finding the legendary wedding dress among the rags. However, he forgot to kill the peasants for xp and you should always check the fireplace for any remaining food.

taucross writes "A new site allows lonely Xbox 360 gamers to pay a prescribed fee for a few minutes of game time with one of the 'PlayDates', a girl who is paid to play video games. Gamers can choose to have a 'flirty' or 'dirty' experience with one of the PlayDates. Is this what we meant when we said we wanted 'adult gaming'?"

gandhi_2 writes "A pair of sibling scholars compared 52 artists' renditions of 'The Last Supper', and found that the size of the meal painted had grown through the years. Over the last millennium they found that entrees had increased by 70%, bread by 23%, and plate size by 65.6%. Their findings were published in the International Journal of Obesity. From the article: 'The apostles depicted during the Middle Ages appear to be the ascetics they are said to have been. But by 1498, when Leonardo da Vinci completed his masterpiece, the party was more lavishly fed. Almost a century later, the Mannerist painter Jacobo Tintoretto piled the food on the apostles' plates still higher.'"

Lord Xenu writes "When Pandit Surender Sharma, a famous Indian guru, made a boast about being able to kill people with his mind on live TV, someone actually took him up on the offer and asked him to prove it by killing him. After doing all kinds of things like chanting mantras and waving a knife around for hours, the guru was forced to admit defeat when his victim somehow avoided dying from laughter. It's not subtitled, but you can see the video on YouTube (part 2 | part 3) if you want to see it for yourself."

krou writes "After food activist and author Raj Patel appeared on The Colbert Report to promote his latest book, things seemed to be going well, until he began to get inundated with emails asking if he was 'the world teacher.' In events ripped straight from The Life of Brian, it would seem that Raj Patel's life story ticks all the boxes necessary to fulfill prophecies made by Benjamin Creme, founder of religious sect Share International. After the volume of emails and inquiries got worse, Patel eventually wrote a message on his website stating categorically that he was not the Messiah. Sure enough, 'his denial merely fanned the flames for some believers. In a twist ripped straight from the script of the comedy classic, they said that this disavowal, too, had been prophesied.'"

Ben Folds does an awesome tribute in concert to the now famous Chatroulette Piano Improv guy.

Police in Frankenförde, Germany suspect animal activists are responsible for releasing 4,000 minks from a farm and into the wilderness. Since gaining their freedom the minks have eaten everything in their path including local farm fowl, wild birds and other small animals. Farm owner Alfons Grosser says the minks will eat about a ton of food every few days. The German nature protection association (NABU) has declared the marauding minks an environmental catastrophe.

krou writes "The BBC has an interesting story of events that took place in 1954 Scotland that eerily echo recent debates regarding video games. On September 23, 1954, 'Hundreds of children aged from four to 14, some of them armed with knives and sharpened sticks, were patrolling' a local graveyard, telling a bemused police officer who went to investigate, that they were 'hunting a 7ft tall vampire with iron teeth who had already kidnapped and eaten two local boys.' The children returned to the graveyard for several nights. Soon, the so-called 'Gorbals Vampire' became subject of a media frenzy, and they began to search for the origins of the urban legend. Sure enough, 'blame was quickly laid at the door of American comic books with chilling titles such as Tales From The Crypt and The Vault of Horror, whose graphic images of terrifying monsters were becoming increasingly popular among Scottish youngsters.' Despite a few dissenting academics pointing out that no vampires matching the description given ever appeared in these books (and that a monster with iron teeth actually appears in the Bible and a poem taught in local schools), the moral panic resulted in a media and political frenzy calling for an end to children's minds becoming 'polluted' by 'terrifying and corrupt' comics. The end result was the introduction of the Children and Young Persons (Harmful Publications) Act 1955 which banned the sale of material with 'incidents of a repulsive or horrible nature' to minors."

ByronScott writes "In today's 'gross news' category, some female insects just might be getting lucky. As an alternative to toxic pesticides, scientists at the Hebrew University of Jerusalem have created 'super-sexed' sterilized male leafhoppers to knock bug boots with females in the wild, resulting in decreased populations. Yes, that means that the female bugs will miss out on the joys of motherhood, but the idea that the insects will be having some fun instead of being gassed to death by poisons is pretty cool."

The townsfolk of the northern English town of Huddersfield are planning to celebrate the bicentenary of the Luddite movement. Instead of smashing computers, wearing tinfoil hats, or writing manifestos, they plan on remembering the 19th century weavers by building a center or museum to commemorate the Luddites and the social change they brought about. Huddersfield member of parliament Barry Sheerman says, "We want to recognize the part the Luddites made in our struggle for democracy...and recognition of organized labor."

The address of Walter and Rose Martin's Brooklyn home was used by police to test a department-wide computer system in 2002. That decision has resulted in over 50 raids on the Martin's home in the last 8 years. Police come looking for all manner of violent criminals as often as three times a week. NYPD Deputy Commissioner Paul Browne says the police have now flagged the Martin's address so no officer will be sent to the home without double-checking the address first. Rose Martin remains skeptical, saying, "It seems like too simple a correction for something that has been going on for eight years."

Artist Nina Maria Kleivan knows that there is nothing more adorable than a baby dictator. That's why she decided to dress her 1-year-old daughter Faustina as some of the world's most infamous despots. The list of precious little monsters includes: Joseph Stalin, Benito Mussolini, Saddam Hussein, Ayatollah Khomeini, Chairman Mao, Idi Amin, Augusto Pinochet, and Slobodan Milosevic. Faustina is so cute as Idi Amin that she is in danger of eating her own cheeks up.

vieux schnock writes "A controversy has arisen over a French television show reproducing Milgram's experiment in front of a live audience. Milgram's original experiment wanted to show the willingness of study participants to 'obey an authority figure who instructed them to perform acts that conflicted with their personal conscience.' But this time, it seems that television can play that deadly 'authority' figure with more devastating results: While Milgran got 65% of the participants to hit the maximum jolt button, '[in] the final tally, 81 percent of the contestants turned up the juice to the maximum.'"

The best and worst game to play with a friend.

The Stoneybrook West homeowners association in Orlando, Florida is serious about collecting its fees. So serious in fact that the association will not let anyone coming to see Melissa Solis in the gated community. Solis has fallen behind on her association fees and now guards at the gated entrance to her neighborhood prevent her friends, family, babysitter and even the pizza man from going in to see her. Even Melissa's mother-in-law was banned from coming inside when she came for a family birthday party. Association lawyer Jim Gustino says, "We have to bring whatever lawful pressure that we have to bear on these folks. No one feels good about it, but it does result in collecting money. Many folks will, by some miracle, come up with the money they couldn't come up with before, because they don't want their family members to be denied entry."

JimLynch writes "The British government scattered bunkers around the island during the Cold War, so that scientists hidden underground could track the spread of radiation in case the nuclear bombs started falling. Now, if you're interested in a two-room underground getaway spot in the middle of nowhere, with a chemical toilet, you can bid for one online for as little as $4200."