Ghenghis Khan Descendants Eat For Free

pillageplunder writes "CNN has an article about a London restaurant that is offering diners the chance to see if they are descended from the great Khan (Genghis that is). If you are, then you get a free meal. The article delves a bit into bioarchaeology, with some pretty interesting tidbits of info."

Wise move...

[ericspinder]

By appeasing them, these 'sons' of Genghis Khan won't burn down the place and cart off the waitresses when they are done.

Actually, it's a great gimmick, and with the test costing about $330 dollars, I am certain that they don't lose a dime, in fact they probably make more money per customer, and whichever lab is doing the testing is getting free publicity for the real 'meat' of the DNA testing business; paternity testing.

At the next table

[o1d5ch001]

But what they don't say is that at the next table are the decendants of the Tibetan kingdom and the Chin empire. And they are looking to settle the score!

khan!

[Tom7]

Khhhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaannnnn!!!!!

Re:khan!

[TwoPumpChump]

Don't you mean, "Khaaan!!!" [khaaan.com]

Re:khan!

[freqres]

Maybe they also test if you are descendant of Ricardo Montalban? <spicy latin voice>Welcome to Fantasy Is...I mean Welcome to Shish.</spicy latin voice>.

Test to prove you are a Genghis Khan descendant:

[ianezz]

1) Do you have a predilection for little fur hats?

2) Do you prefer axes to climbing roses on the door of your cottage?

3) Have you ever suffered of inexplicable but terrbly attractive visions of houses consumed by fire?

4) Have you ever felt your brain filled with a thousand hairy horsemen shouting at you?

If the answer is "yes" to all questions, you are a Genghis Khan descendant, unfortunately you are too busy lying in the mud to go to the pub -- pardon, restaurant.

Obligatory nitpick post.

[Feztaa]

First of all, Arthur wasn't the descendant of Khan, the guy overseeing the demolition of his house is. Secondly, he's not just any descendant, he's the direct, male line descendant (Khan was his father's father's father's ... etc father). ;)

Re:Obligatory nitpick post.

[ianezz]

First of all, Arthur wasn't the descendant of Khan, the guy overseeing the demolition of his house is.

In fact, I'm referring to Mr. Prosser, who is convinced by Ford to lie in the mud in place of Arthur to block bulldozers, so Ford and Arthur may go to the pub.

Re:Obligatory nitpick post.

[Feztaa]

In fact, I'm referring to Mr. Prosser, who is convinced by Ford to lie in the mud in place of Arthur to block bulldozers, so Ford and Arthur may go to the pub.

Sure, you say that now... but you originally said "too busy lying in the mud to go to the pub", Mr. Prosser didn't want to go to the pub, he just wanted to demolish the house. It was arthur who wanted to go to the pub. Actually, he didn't even really want to go to the pub, he wanted to defend his house, but ford dragged him to the pub.

Anyway, I don

Re:Obligatory nitpick post.

[Feztaa]

Actually, it was Ford that convinced Prosser to lie in the mud so that Arthur and Ford could go to the pub ;)

But yeah, I get your point about Prosser not being able to go to the restaurant to get the free food now, I wasn't even thinking about the original slashdot story, I was just thinking about the book. Oops ;)

Re:Obligatory nitpick post.

[klmth]

Obviously, you gorgot the part where Prosser took Arthur's place.

So close!

[I_Love_Pocky!]

I'm a desendent of Shaka Khan!

Re:So close!

[Alsee]

I'm *so* close too!
I'm descended fron Genghis Goldstein.

-

but all you get is the mongolian beef

[kencurry]

n/m

All the way?

[Otter]

"We've had Mongolian people who've traveled across London to give us their details," said Hugo Malik, bar manager of Shish, which is giving away one DNA test at each of its two London branches every day through Friday.

All the way across London? Verily, these Mongolians have lost none of the nomadic spirit of their forefathers!

Re:

[account_deleted]

Comment removed based on user account deletion

Re:British food

[Paracelcus]

If I get a free plane ticket to London, I'll eat the food, but first I want to know where the nearest emergency room is! And since I am part Mongolian and if I take the test to see if I am related to the dead butcher, I want a tee shirt with a picture of GK too!

I'll pass...

[unperson]

Once you get labeled "descendant" of any powerful ruler, I doubt you'll have to wait long until someone shows up at your front door demanding restitution.

Re:Ashworth the Enlightened

[msuzio]

Ummm...

It's a true statement, isn't it? That Genghis Khan and his good friends, The Mongol Horde, swept through raping and pillaging? It was pretty much their modus operandi, from all the accounts I've read.

Oh sure, in all the excitement, I'm sure a few guys got buggered too, but on the whole, it was probably mostly women getting raped or taken captive. How is this fact sexist?

Re:Ashworth the Enlightened

[DrSkwid]

"The Mongol Horde, swept through raping and pillaging" tells me a fact about the Mongol Horde.

"The Mongol Horde took their women", tells me that the speaker considers that the women were property.

It matters not what position *they* considered the women, the speaker is also making that assertion.

Re:Ashworth the Enlightened

[Jerf]

"Took" is a common (albeit older) term for "rape" or "coitus"; it technically isn't equivalent to "rape" since rape denotes a situation where the women is unwilling and "take" connotes a situation where the women's willingness is more-or-less irrelevant.

Thus, "took their women" is proper, if slightly archaic (which is appropriate in the context of acts thousands of years old), English that in the context of this story is perfectly correct and non-sexist (at least for the speaker). (And yes, I have heard of

Re:Ashworth the Enlightened

[DrSkwid]

hmm, yes I grant that could be an interpretation

no, hang on a second

[DrSkwid]

it's the "their" not the "took"

"their women" implies that the women were property but not by opinion of the contemporaries but that the speaker considers that to be the case.

nice distracting argument though, got me for a second

Re:no, hang on a second

[jnicholson]

The women belonged to the tribe - as did the men & children. No sexism is necessary.

Re:no, hang on a second

[JVert]

he took their women.

The obivous issue was "he". Kahn is suddenly representatives for all males. Ergo all men 'take' their women. Disgusting really...

Re:no, hang on a second

[Ayaress]

He also killed THEIR men, enslaved THEIR boys, stole THEIR livestock, and burned THEIR cities. And even so, the general mindset in most of the world running from, say, 10,000 BC to about 1800 AD (and into the 1900's in many parts of the world) was that women WERE property. When talking about such a society, saying the women were property isn't sexist - it's a fact. Were the black slaves on plantations property? Yes they were. That doesn't mean its right. it doesn't mean I think they SHOULD have been proper

Re:no, hang on a second

[Anonymous Coward]

The mongol hordes took their women.
The mongol hordes took their mothers and sisters.
The mongol hordes took their girlfriends.
The mongol hordes took your girlfriend.

Am I allowed to say "I have a girlfriend" or "My girlfriend's name is..."? Or would it imply that I own her?

Re:no, hang on a second

[DeanT]

Nice illustration of the linguistics. I'm afraid it will get lost due to its anonymous status though.

If I had mod points, this would get one.

Re:no, hang on a second

[DrSkwid]

You are casting yourself as the subject.

Took their women, implies a they to whom the women are subjugate.

Thus it is the "they" that are affected.

"She is your girlfriend" : the speaker gives "you" higher status than "she" for the context of the story.

And so it is with "their women". "They" are afforded higher status than the "women".

This is the institutionalisation of sexism. Shine enlightenment into these dark corners and you may be suprised what you will see.

Re:no, hang on a second

[KevinKnSC]

You could probably better spend your time finding real sexism, rather than imagining it based on the word choice of a sentence. Your logic that the subject of a sentence is "afforded higher status" is inconsistent with English usage.

To confirm this, I could ask my well-educated professor. Other college students could ask their professors. Enlisted military personnel could ask their commanding officers, while religious people could pray to their god. Are you really going to make the case that those sen

Re:no, hang on a second

[DrSkwid]

"while religious people could pray to their god"

in this sentence you are communicating how *you* see the relationship between the people and the god

that is the point I am making

But attacking me for noticing such subtlety and lambasting me for not finding *real* sexism is just makes me feel embarassed. "See a fool, you're a fool".

Perhaps it is because people round here aren't even English.

Re:Ashworth the Enlightened

[sudog]

Ghenghis Khan and his immediate descendants did not savagely rape and pillage. They happened to set up one of the most civilised golden ages in history and invented the movable type press. Oh, you thought Gutenberg was The Man? No--he invented a mechanism for mass-producing books. The Mongols beat him to the basic press by decades and out of simple necessity!

The Mongols designed a written language which was capable of forming all the syllables of their subjugated nations.

Genghis was one of the first (and only) conquerors to allow his subjugated peoples to practice their own religions, spared and freed everyone who surrendered immediately, destroyed powerful nations (such as the Caliphate of what is now Iraq) as a result of barbarous behaviour visited upon his diplomats, was one of the only rulers ever to base promotion and reward *purely on merit* and not familial ties nor nobility, invented modern warfare and perfected siege technique, created tremendous surplus and prosperity and justice for all who lived inside the Mongol empire, and visited total destruction on all who refused to submit.

Genghis Khan and his successors conquered more people, more land, with fewer warriors and in less time than anyone else ever has in recorded history. Alexander the Great was a gnat by comparison. Attila the Hun, a nobody. The Roman Empire, a blemish on the ass-cheeks of one of Genghis' concubines. Hitler killed fewer people and conquered less land--even with those death-camps and all the Schlieffen plans he wanted to dream up. Stalin was a punk-ass backstabber rat.

Genghis could travel faster and further with 50,000 horse-mounted warriors, could defeat larger armies, and destroy or conquer countries better and with fewer Mongol casualties, than anyone else prior to or since.

The only nation that Genghis' descendents failed spectacularly in conquering was Japan, and that was only because a nasty storm whipped up and destroyed their invading ships every single time they tried to take the islands.

One of the more terrible things that came about from Genghis' subjugation of pretty much all of Asia and Europe was the Black Plague, the spread of which was facilitated by the active overland trade routes the Mongols built.

The Mongols prized engineers, craftsman, and skilled workers above *all* others because of their unique abilities.

The Mongols also forced advanced education on and provided health care and doctors to, their subjugated nations.

Say what you will about them, they were the impetus which dredged us inexorably towards modern civilisation, kicking and screaming, and without whom we probably wouldn't be as advanced socially and technologically as we are today.

Most of those savageries attributed to Genghis are simply lies: propaganda whipped up before the Mongols even arrived by jittery European scribes who bought into the pre-invasion panic the Mongols liked to sow.

Re:Ashworth the Enlightened

[freqres]

Your not speaking in code are you? I figured it out. Just substitute G.W. Bush for Genghis and the good ol' U.S. of A. for the mongols. You and your tricky trick of codes.

Re:Ashworth the Enlightened

[sudog]

Since when did GW promote freedom of religion, universal health care, and promotion based solely on merit and not familial ties?

DMCA Anyone

[ObsessiveMathsFreak]

If the great and mighty Khan were still with us today, could he patent his Y chromosone and sue Shish for attempting to circumvent its encryption by discovering who his decendants are.

Could he sue his decendants for unauthorised 'copying' of his DNA under the DMCA?

Before you blast me as a Troll yet again [slashdot.org] this comment is meant to be a satire of the overly broad DMCA. No Mod Parent Down posts please, unless this post is actually crap... which it is.

Re:DMCA Anyone

[RevAaron]

And my penis is a circumvention device. Ohhhh yeeeeahhhh.

Re:DMCA Anyone

[Ayaress]

Actually, he can't. He made no licensing actions while he was alive, and left no last will and testament assigning ownership of his DNA. Therefore, when he died, each of his children and granchildren inheirited a proportional amount of his DNA. There were no will and testament premises on the use of the DNA, so all copying his descendents chose to do was up to them - provided the owned the equipment necessary to reproduce the DNA, which Khan was nice enough to furnish them all with, with the help of all the

OT: don't obsess about the mods

[jtheory]

If you tried to be funny, and whoever happened to be moderating that day didn't get it, that doesn't meant you need to put a big notice on your next post -- it means you need to proofread (to see how your post might be misread), and/or spend a little more time lurking.

You are *not* barred from moderating later on (there's no lasting effect to a single troll), and your karma will recover quickly, if you have useful comments to contribute.

Not that I'm a exactly a grizzled old-timer... but I had a few accide

another nefarious conspiracy

[nusratt]

free British food, hmmmm?
Obviously, it's a clever plot to *eradicate* the descendants of the Khan.

"Chefs desperately fleeing UK" . . .

[nusratt]

. . . would be one interpretation of your post saying,
"We're exporting chefs to France, for crying out loud".
Perhaps they're leaving to avoid their talents being wasted. ;-)

But seriously, the issue is not, "Can good dining establishments be found in the UK?", or "How numerous are good British-born chefs?". Rather, the issue is, "How should one characterize the cuisine associated with the UK?", either traditionally, OR statistically vis-a-vis current practice.
The traditional canard is, "To eat well in Br

Re:"Chefs desperately fleeing UK" . . .

[FreeUser]

But seriously, the issue is not, "Can good dining establishments be found in the UK?", or "How numerous are good British-born chefs?". Rather, the issue is, "How should one characterize the cuisine associated with the UK?", either traditionally, OR statistically vis-a-vis current practice. The traditional canard is, "To eat well in Britain, one must have breakfast three times daily."

Canards that are derived from cultural bigotry really shouldn't be touted as "traditional wisdom." Have you eaten "traditi

Re:"Chefs desperately fleeing UK" . . .

[freqres]

But I doubt that the UK is exporting a taste for kidney pie, cornish pasties, bangers & mash, eel, or haggis.

Just as much as the fine citizens of Maryland export a taste for a 40oz. of 'Natty Bo' and a heapin' helpin' of scrapple.

I for one...

[xiopher]

I for one accept our new overload and he will eat free anytime he wants.

In 12th century Asia

[silicon not in the v]

the food eats YOU! *ducks*

Re:I for one...

[gd23ka]

You meant to say, "I for one accept our new free food overloads."

Parse error

[Wylfing]

I have to keep rereading the title of the story because it always looks to me like "Ghenghis Khan Eats Descendants For Free."

They are going to be giving out a lot of meals.

[ikkonoishi]

6 billion to be exact.

Due to the exponential nature of family trees anyone alive more than 600 years ago is everyone's ancestor in one way or another. (Ignoring massive inbreeding or closed cities.)

Re:They are going to be giving out a lot of meals.

[Anonymous Coward]

Ignoring massive inbreeding

...so, this is except for the entire state of West Virginia?
((rimshot))Thanks, folks I'll be here all night!

Re:They are going to be giving out a lot of meals.

[Sparr0]

600 years is only 30 generations. Even allowing for 2 children per person (4 per couple) that only gives you one gibi-descendant (:-p) now, roughly 1/6 of the population.

Re:They are going to be giving out a lot of meals.

[Ayaress]

Thanks to the Mongol lifestyle of burning cities and raping women, they could have spread their DNA much farther in a shorter period of time - still not enough to account for everybody having Mongol blood, let along the Khan's blood.

I've seen guestimates that Khan may have gotten his y chromosome into as many as 1/3 of the Asian and Russian males alive today, as well as smaller fractions of the middle-eastern and European populations. I've never seen any hard figures to try to support this, but 30 generations isn't enough for one person to have a bloodline connection with everybody in the world - maybe if we had perfect worldwide random pairing in the gene pool, but some of us are still stuck over here in the shallow end.

Re:They are going to be giving out a lot of meals.

[iphayd]

I heard a story on NPR about this last night. They said that .5% of the world population is descended from Gehngis Kahn. They will have 10 people tested, 5 at each restaurant. They also said the royal family is already known to be descendants of Khan.

Other famous autocrats

[slothman32]

So if the have Khan's DNA do they have other famous people's DNA? Can I see if I am Caesar's or Alex the Great or Charlamagne's descendent?

For For 180 pounds (US$330) you can eat free!

[the Luddite]

Now if that's not a deal I don't know what is!

Ghenghis Khan's death

[BinLadenMyHero]

[Mozart] Hello again, and welcome to the show. Tonight we continue to look at some famous deaths. Tonight we start with the wonderful death of Genghis Khan, conqueror of India. Take it away Genghis.

[Cut to Genghis Khan's tent. Genghis strides about purposefully. Indian-style background music. Suddenly the music cuts out and Genghis Khan with a squawk throws himself in the air and lands on his back. This happens very suddenly. Judges hold up cards with points on, in the manner of ice skating judges.]

[Voice Over] 9.1, 9.3, 9.7, that's 28.1 for Genghis Khan.

[Mozart still at piano.]

[Mozart] Bad luck Genghis. Nice to have you on the show. And now here are the scores.

[Scoreboard with Eddie Waring figure standing by it. The scoreboard looks a little like this:]

29.9 St Stephan
29.3 Richard III
29.1 Jean D'arc
29.0 Marat
28.2 A. Lincoln (U.S of A)
28.1 G. Khan
3.1 King Edward VII


By Monty Python [ibras.dk]

Ob Bill & Ted's quote...

[bopo]

Sorry, it was on this weekend:

Ted: This is a dude who, 700 years ago, totally ravaged China, and who we were told, 2 hours ago, totally ravaged Ashman's Sporting Goods.

Re:Ob Bill & Ted's quote...

[sudog]

Actually he didn't "ravage" China. The conquering of China was accomplished by Kublai and his sons not through direct confrontation, but more by diplomacy and the threat of war.

After they took over, they instituted health care for the masses and many advanced education centres!

I'd hardly call that "savaging." Fair justice for the common peasants? That's not "savaging."

Re:Ob Bill & Ted's quote...

[freqres]

Are you talking about the Khan clan or John Kerry and the Democrats?

Obligatory HHGTTG

[quantaman]

Well I'm sure Mr L. Prosser will be very pleased to hear this, fortunatly his inhertiance of a stoutness about the tum and a predilection for little fur hats should mean he'll fit right in.

KHAAAAAAAANNNNNNN!!!!! KHAAAAAAANNNN!!!

[bluethundr]

He tasks me! He tasks me! And I shall have him. I'll chase him round the moons of Nibia and round the Antares malestrom and round perdition's flames if he eats just one more of my french fries!

Would that be sufficient proof for a free meal?

Eat for free!!

[vijaya_chandra]

With $330, I can pay for dinners for an entire year here in India, considering I pay $0.67 every night for my food.

Sorry I am not a descendant of the khan

LessonOfTheDay : Free food is not always good for your pocket; unless you can sue the restaurant for troubling your stomach

Good Lord ...

[gstoddart]

So a bunch of people are gonna give a restaurant their friggin' DNA in exchange for a one-in-a-bazillion chance they can eat free?

So when does the government start setting up a free give-away of Pepsi (or whatever) if you'll only give them your DNA.

I realize that what we can routinely do with DNA is simply amazing, but this just sounds absolutely scary to me. Yeah, go ahead, accuse me of being in the tinfoil-hat crowd, but I'd choose to restrict the way I just go around handing that information out.

Ther