Amazon Patents New Alexa Feature That Knows When You're ill and Offers To Sell You Medicine (telegraph.co.uk) 59
Amazon has patented a new version of its virtual assistant Alexa which can automatically detect when you're ill and offer to sell you medicine. From a report: The proposed feature would analyse speech and identify other signs of illness or emotion. One example given in the patent is a woman coughing and sniffling while she speaks to her Amazon Echo device. Alexa first suggests some chicken soup to cure her cold, and then offers to order cough drops on Amazon. If Amazon were to introduce this technology, it could compete with a service planned by the NHS. Health Secretary Matt Hancock said earlier this year that the NHS was working on making information from its NHS Choices online service available through Alexa. Amazon's system, however, doesn't need to ask people whether they're ill -- it would just know automatically by analyzing their speech. Adverts for sore throat products could be automatically played to people who sound like they have a sore throat, Amazon's patent suggests.
Cough drops (Score:4, Insightful)
I's prefer if Alexa phone my boss to tell him I can't come in for a couple of days for national health reasons.
Faux AI for Business is Smart (Score:2)
Faux AI for business automation is great and smart.
Faux AI for consumers is creepy, especially faux AI that feeds live audio back to the NSA.
Re: Faux AI for Business is Smart (Score:2)
...but how would anyone even know what they do or think
It'd be pretty tough if you're a fucking idiot but if you're not, it's a safe guess that most NSA employees and contractors think it's sickening fascist bullshit. However, they likely aren't ready to give up their paychecks over it, either.
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https://9gag.com/gag/a3MzOb5/hey-wiretap
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Beside the point. It's not right for people to be able to analyse when I fart and patent that.
I can find any number of silly things and patent them. When I feel down and you can deduce that based on 5 questions, why should I be able to patent that ?
Psst.. hey bud, wanna buy some pills? (Score:3)
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How do you know if someone "sounds horny", though?
Re:Psst.. hey bud, wanna buy some pills? (Score:5, Funny)
How do you know if someone "sounds horny", though?
They speak with a male's voice.
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Mod this guy up!
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That's Google Pimp Daddy(TM) to you, buddy.
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So Alexa is now a drug dealer? What's next? Pimp daddy?
Alexa will notice I sound British and start asking me if I want a cuppa.
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"Alexa, you fecking cow!"
https://youtu.be/uGXJqAJEQJU [youtu.be]
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So Alexa is now a drug dealer? What's next? Pimp daddy?
"You sound lonely. I can call someone for that ... "
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Do you want to know the quickest route to the pot shops open in canada? (or do you want to enter CA or CO mode??)
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but if you don't have the insight to know when you need some chicken soup,
Alexa isn't telling you that you need chicken soup. It's offering to SELL you chicken soup if you don't have any on hand. You may "have the insight" to know you want chicken soup but also have the insight that you're way too sick to drive to the local grocery story for a $1.29 can of it. "Yes, Alexa, hack hack cough, please send me some chicken soup that will arrive in three to five business days, after I've already recovered from whatever it is I have, or I've died from it. Thanks so much. And yes, please,
Next step: Tell your health-insurance to drop you (Score:2)
That does require an earlier detection though. Wheezing when you come in the door as a sign of a hart-attack to come? (Ahahahaha, I got prior art now!)
This stuff is getting utterly creepy. And the idea is so obvious, the only thing they should be getting for the patent application is a hefty fine.
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#WalkAwayFromTheseOrwellianFuckers
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Wheezing when you come in the door as a sign of a hart-attack to come?
This happens to me all the time. Open door, crawl in gasping for breath, "must watch My Drunk Kitchen [youtube.com], must (gasp) log in ... need to ...".
WTF? (Score:2)
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Many people put their health in the hands of an emergency room physician. Someone that has no history of you. It's about as bad.
Besides - "Take two aspirin and I'll call you in the morning."
Morning - I have to get to work Alexa. Put in an order for me at Duncan Donuts, usual. "Sorry David, I can't allow you to do that. Get your ass back in bed and let's make you well." Yes, she said ass. He has the black mama feature checked.
Groans and Moans (Score:1)
Cue the condom ads.
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Only if it can detect more than one person in the room but it could just be the porn on the computer.
Unplanned soccer (Score:3, Funny)
"It sounds like you injured your foot kicking me around. Would you like to order some pain medication?"
This sounds awful (Score:3)
This sounds just awful. Alexa is going to pimp cough drops to me all day long, despite the fact that I already have two bags of them sitting in the cabinet? Or the fact that I've already got a case of chicken soup in the pantry? If I'm vegan, is Alexa still going to pimp the chicken soup, or is it going to push some BS homeopathic remedy instead? I just don't get paying large sums of money to get a device that just peppers me with ads.
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This sounds just awful. Alexa is going to pimp cough drops to me all day long, despite the fact that I already have two bags of them sitting in the cabinet?
Until you buy them from Amazon, yes.
Or the fact that I've already got a case of chicken soup in the pantry?
Better buy your soup from Whole Foods, comrade.
If I'm vegan, is Alexa still going to pimp the chicken soup, or is it going to push some BS homeopathic remedy instead?
That depends. Who paid them more this week, Campbell's or the bullshit merchant? Or why not both? I give it less than 2 years before the damn thing starts playing literal ad jingles.
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, but I am old enough to call Amazon an insensitive clod.
Oh dear... (Score:1)
And this is why ... (Score:1)
And this is why I'll never allow one of these fucking digital assistants into my house.
Alexa was always going to be about tracking you, showing you ads and selling you shit. No thanks, Amazon can fuck off.
Sorry, no, I'm not having someth
Oh well that's not at ALL creepy (Score:2)
New song title - Alexa is coming to town (Score:2)
It sees you when you're sleeping
It knows when you're awake
It knows if you've been bad or good
So be good for goodness sake!
But With Speech (Score:2)
Chicken soup?? (Score:2)
Does it also recommend leeches?
Security? This is west gate. (Score:2)
Clippy! (Score:2)
"I see that you writing a suicide note, would like some sleeping pills and whiskey?"
Doubtful patentability... (Score:2)
prior art exists - cellphones listen for brand names and substitute advertising in browser when it hears an M.D. Rx prescription. I don't know how its driven by adwords or mfgr, but we are about to find out
M-Corp (Score:2)
That is all.
Medically Qualified? (Score:1)
Serving ads for soup may be acceptable, if really annoying for the end user.
Linking a medicine with any sort of diagnosis would immediately come under a raft of legislation in many countries. Only qualified physicians or other healthcare professionals are able to do this legally as far as I know...