Pope To Resign Citing Advanced Age

Hugh Pickens writes writes "BBC reports that Pope Benedict XVI is to resign at the end of this month in an unexpected development, saying he is too old to continue at the age of 85. In a statement, the pontiff said: 'After having repeatedly examined my conscience before God, I have come to the certainty that my strengths, due to an advanced age, are no longer suited to an adequate exercise of the Petrine ministry.' Resignations from the papacy are not unknown, but this is the first in the modern era, which has been marked by pontiffs dying while in office."

Simply Could Not Fulfill His Duties

[eldavojohn]

It became apparent when he was supposed to move a priest who had been indulging in altar boys to the Diocese of Ogdensburg [wikipedia.org] in New York where they would have a trial and could pay off the families but instead he moved him to the Diocese of Owensboro [wikipedia.org] in Kentucky where, upon discovery, he was lynched and killed without a trial. At that point, every God Fearin' Holy Roman Catholic altar-boy-molesting priest in the world feared the Pope could no longer shield them from mortal justice and so it was clear he had to resign his post. It's been long rumored that Cardinal Vincent "Big Vinnie the Silencer" Mastrantonio will be the successor and be able to invoke the Holy Spirit to "keep those quiet who don't want their kneecaps busted in over here over there."

Pope starts using the internet

[hsmith]

and two months later quits his job. Coincidence? I think not.

What a quitter!

[91degrees]

Noah lived to over 900, and he was building Arks into his 7th century.

These modern God-botherers just don't have the stamina.

In a Vatican Statement.

[Dartz-IRL]

In a statement released by the Vatican Today, it was announced that his Holiness Pope Benedict XVI will step down with immediate effect. When asked for a reason, a spokesman for his former holiness suggested that he would like to spend more time with his wife and children.

Re:Pope starts using the internet

[Errol backfiring]

So my prayers to Saint Isidore are fulfilled!

Re:Pope starts using the internet

[bancho]

He got promoted to mod on 4chan.

Re:Why is this on slashdot?

[negRo_slim]

I'm hoping it's viral marketing for the new iWatch from Apple.

Too bad...

[ilsaloving]

It's a shame that he's leaving. He was the perfect figurehead for the Catholic Church because he clearly and visibly embodied it's principles.

Re:Why is this on slashdot?

[nospam007]

"Why is this on slashdot?"

It's about a guy who can talk to the cloud without any computer.

Re:Why is this on slashdot?

[Anonymous Coward]

Talking to the cloud without a computer is simple - anyone can do it. It's getting it to listen that's the hard part.

Re:In a Vatican Statement.

[mcmonkey]

In a statement released by the Vatican Today, it was announced that his Holiness Pope Benedict XVI will step down with immediate effect. When asked for a reason, a spokesman for his former holiness suggested that he would like to spend more time with his wife and children.

I did nazi that coming.

News for Nerds ?!

[Thud457]

What is RMS's position on this?!!

Re:Why is this on slashdot?

[tnk1]

Hah. Getting it to listen is easy, getting something useful back from it... now that is the real trick.

Re:Why is this on slashdot?

[chill]

Crusade against normality? I suggest you familiarize yourself with the standard distribution bell curve.

Re:Pope starts using the internet

[DrXym]

He rage quit.

Re:Infallible?

[characterZer0]

BTW why is he referred to as the "Pope". Other religious groups have popes too. Can we at least always refer to him as the "Catholic Pope".

Because everybody knows to whom you are referring when you say "The Pope".

How about an analogy:

Why is he referred to as RMS? Other people have the initials RMS too. Can we at least always refer to him as "GNU/RMS"?

Pope Resigns?

[Big Hairy Ian]

Does this mean he's Ex Benedict?

Re:Why is this on slashdot?

[alexander_686]

Simple. The mathematical property of Transitive tells us:

Slashdot likes conspiracy theories.
Conspiracy theorist like news on the Catholic Church.
Ergo, Slashdoters would be interested in this.

For example, we all know that the reason why Linux has not succeeded is that the Knights Templar control Microsoft. The only way to break their control over the monetary system is to move to BitCoin.

Or am I missing something here?

Re:Why is this on slashdot?

[DoofusOfDeath]

"Why is this on slashdot?"

It's about a guy who can talk to the cloud without any computer.

Chuck Norris?

Be Now Known As...

[kdogg73]

Ex-Benedict

Binding of adjectives to nouns in English

[starfishsystems]

Um, calling something an "objective interpretation" qualifies the kind of interpretation that's being attempted. It's like the Copenhagen interpretation [wikipedia.org] of quantum physics. It's not intended to mean that the speaker is from Copenhagen.