Aussie Lasers To Stop Satellite Collisions, Death 84
bennyboy64 writes "An Australian company is developing a laser tracking system that will help prevent collisions between satellites and space debris, ZDNet reports. 'The trouble is it's [debris] in orbit and travelling at orbital speeds, which means that it is travelling at about 30,000 kilometres an hour," said the CEO of the Australian company. 'If even a tiny little piece runs into a satellite it'll destroy it or punch a hole through a person if they're out there space walking.'"
Say What? (Score:5, Funny)
Sharks with frickin' laser beams! (Score:3, Funny)
Asteroids! (Score:4, Funny)
Sounds like the old Asteroids game. If they're looking for volunteers, I'd be happy to put my years of experience to good use.
Re:Say What? (Score:1, Funny)
The Australians have a laser than can stop death? Now that is news I can use! Where can I get one?
The dark wavelength of the laser is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be... unnatural.
Is it possible to learn these powers?
Only from an Aussie...
Re:Sharks with frickin' laser beams! (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Sharks with frickin' laser beams! (Score:2, Funny)
I'm sure you meant kangaroos with frickin' laser beams!
Re:Like radar, but shorter wavelengths (Score:3, Funny)
to track space junk and sell the data it collects to satellite owners and companies like NASA
*on phone* Hello, NASA? Hi, I'm ******** at the Mount Stromlo observatory in Canberra. We've just detected several objects on a collision course with the manned space station. We can provide you with a safe trajectory to avoid what will otherwise certainly be a catastrophic and fatal collision, but first, how much is that information worth to you?
Of course, it could be worse:
*on phone* Yo, NASA! Listen, this is Vinnie callin from Brooklyn. My associates at tha observahtory in Sicily tell me that there might be some flyin space debris or some shit headin towards ya station. I'd like to sell you some infamation to prevent anythin bad from happenin to it, what with the future of science dependin on it an all. I mean, you wouldn want another one a dem Columbia disastas on ya hands, now would ya?
Re:Sharks with frickin' laser beams! (Score:4, Funny)
I'm sure you meant kangaroos with frickin' laser beams!
Kangaroos with LEDs would cut the country road toll. You just need some of those power generators which slide a magnet through a coil.
Re:Say What? (Score:3, Funny)
They're attached to the heads of our sharks.
Re:Say What? (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Say What? (Score:1, Funny)
Where can I get one?
They're attached to the heads of our sharks.
No, it's worse than that the Australian implementation will use saltwater crocodiles, they wanted an amphibious weapon system!