Dead Pigs Used To Investigate Ocean's "Dead Zones" 106
timothy writes "As places to study what happens to corpses, the Atlantic Ocean is both much larger and much more specialized than the famous 'body farm' in Knoxville, TN. But for all kinds of good reasons, sending human bodies into Davy Jones' locker just to see where they float and how they bloat is unpopular. Pigs don't pay taxes, and more importantly, they don't vote. So Canadian scientists have taken to using them as human-body proxies, to study what happens when creatures of similar size and hairlessness (aka, us) end up 86ed and in the drink."
Waste not, want not. (Score:3, Funny)
What a waste.
I was going to suggest a slashdot poll for this but there are only two realistic choices. Which makes more sense?
A) The current "Sink them to the depths of the ocean where they are eaten by sea critters for science"
B) Put them in my secret basement room where I could don a pig-head skin mask and have dry anal sex with their corpses while listening to opera.
.
Change from the original plan (Score:5, Funny)
They were going to use dead puppies, until they found out they're not much fun.
Re:Change from the original plan (Score:5, Funny)
Much more efficient. (Score:2, Funny)
This sounds like a much better idea than when they studied the Dead Zone in the 80s using Christopher Walken. Dead bloated pig corpses are more plentiful, not to mention way less creepy.
Bacon (Score:2, Funny)
Screw that (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Waste not, want not. (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Waste not, want not. (Score:4, Funny)
I know one person eager to hear the results. (Score:4, Funny)
Re:Screw that (Score:3, Funny)
Do you have any idea how many Bacon Double Cheeseburgers you can get out of a single pig and cow? You would throw all that deliciousness away just to get a 40-page article in Forensic Science Quarterly that comes to the final conclusion "They sink"?
No kidding. Why not, instead of using tasty pigs, round up a bunch of Tea Party members, anyone who thinks Sarah Palin is qualified to be president and everyone at Fox News, shoot them in the head and use their corpses for the testing. We'd not only end up with more tasty bacon but we'd also be improving the collective IQ of humanity by doing so, and accomplishing valuable science. It's all upside.
Re:Waste not, want not. (Score:1, Funny)
Re:Screw that (Score:3, Funny)
Zombie pigs... (Score:1, Funny)
Grains....GRAINS!
What a waste of good pork! (Score:3, Funny)
Dead pigs are useful to study scavengers because . (Score:3, Funny)
There, fixed it.
Human flesh isn't called "long pig" or "the other other white meat" for nothing.