GPS Shoes For Alzheimer's Patients

A shoe-maker, Aetrex Worldwide, and GTX Corp, a company that makes miniaturized Global Positioning Satellite tracking and location-transmitting devices, are teaming up to make shoes for people suffering from Alzheimer's Disease. "The technology will provide the location of the individual wearing the shoes within 9m (30 feet), anywhere on the planet. Sixty per cent of individuals afflicted with Alzheimer's Disease will be involved in a 'critical wandering incident' at least once during the progression of the disease — many more than once," said Andrew Carle, an assistant professor at George Mason University who served as an advisor on the project. Not only will this technology allow a caretaker to find a loved one with a click of a mouse, but the shoes are more humanizing than a bell hung around the neck.

Oh

[JustOK]

Like they'll remember to put on their shoes...

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Oh Good!

[Alzheimers]

I was wondering if I'd watered the plants or not.

Re:Oh

[Hognoxious]

my grandma who was Alzheimer's was notorious for doing just that walking around the assisted living facility in nothing but her underwear

It could be worse. I know, I've seen her without it.

Keep them from wandering away in the first place

[oldspewey]

Personally I find this [telegraph.co.uk] solution to be ingenious and hilarious at the same time.

Re:Oh

[Anonymous Coward]

pics or it didn't happen.

The adventurous Alzheimer

[sls1j]

And for those adventurous Alzheimer patients who want a 'critical wandering incident' Achme is now offering tinfoil shoe coverings.

--Achme Sales Rep.

Now under development...

[serutan]

A device for forcing Alzheimer's patients to keep their shoes on.

Re:I lost my shoe :(

[Camann]

Here, have a cowbell. Since that's the only apparent alternative.

Oblig. Red Dwarf Quote

[Altus]

Lister: Sometimes, I think it's cruel giving machines a personality. My mate Petersen once bought a pair of shoes with Artificial Intelligence. 'Smart Shoes' they were called. It was a neat idea. No matter how blind drunk you were, they could always get you home. But he got rattled one night in Oslo and woke up the next morning in Burma. You see, his shoes got bored going from his local to his flat. They wanted to see the world, you know. He had a hell of a job getting rid of them. No matter who he sold them to, they'd show up again the next day. He tried to shut them out, but they just kicked the door down.

Rimmer: Is this true?
Lister: Yeah. The last thing I heard, they sort of... robbed a car and drove it into a canal. They couldn't steer, you see.

Rimmer: Really?

Lister: Yeah. Petersen was really, really blown away about it. He went to see a priest. The priest told him... he said it was alright and all that, when shoes are happy that they'd get into heaven. You see, it turns out shoes have 'soles'.

Rimmer: Ah, what a sad story. Wait a minute.
[Thinks for a minute]
Rimmer: How did they open the car door?

Re:Oh

[Anonymous Coward]

You seem to be looking for dignity in the wrong place. This is the Internet. We don't do dignity.

Indeed. Furthermore, I hereby invoke Rule 34. Any moment now, an AC is going to post some fresh and delicious Alzheimer's granny poon... And there's not a goddamn thing anyone can do about it.

Re:But when they get on a plane.

[oodaloop]

I just have one question for you. Why do you hate America?

Re:Oh

[demonlapin]

I'm not AC, and it's text only, but here's [bash.org] a riff on Rule 34 for that - scroll down to ONE HUNDRED TWENTY TWO for the Rule 34 bit, or read the whole thing to LYFAO.