Stephen Hawking Is "Very Ill" In Hospital 413
C S Miller writes "Not much more to add.
The BBC is reporting that 'Stephen Hawking is "very ill" in hospital.' He has had a few health scares before, and as a post-graduate he was told he didn't have much longer to live; he's now 67."
Hawking has proposed a solution (Score:5, Funny)
If we can launch him into space, and get him traveling fast enough, he'll seem to live nearly forever from our perspective.
Oblig. Futurama (Score:5, Funny)
Fry: Hey! Stephen Hawking! Aren't you that physicist that invented gravity?
Stephen Hawking: Sure. Why not?
Re:Death announced before death? (Score:2, Funny)
I do hate it in this day and age, where people speculate before people die.
Call it speculation, but I'm pretty sure that the rules haven't changed in regards to death.
It's still 1 per person.
Re:Hawking has proposed a solution (Score:1, Funny)
I thought it was a fry-hole...
Post-graduate (Score:5, Funny)
Let this be a lesson to all - graduating is hazardous to your health!
Re:Hawking has proposed a solution (Score:5, Funny)
I thought it was a fry-hole...
HAWKING
I call it a "Hawking Hole".
FRY
No fair! I saw it first!
HAWKING
Who is The Journal Of Quantum Physics going to believe?
Re:Oh dear (Score:2, Funny)
I didn't know Jack Chick was a reader here at Slashdot.
Re:Oh dear (Score:5, Funny)
I to hope he pulls through also. This is one that I hope has no funny posts.
I'm a big fan of his music (Score:3, Funny)
Cruel fate (Score:5, Funny)
Sadly, it's even worse. I heard he has considerable holdings of Sun stock [yahoo.com].
Re:Post-graduate (Score:2, Funny)
That's why I plan on never graduating. ;-)
(/me is a 3rd year grad student)
Re:I'm a big fan of his music (Score:5, Funny)
Certainly not! Do you want to create *more* of them?!?
Re:WOW (Score:5, Funny)
A long time ago... (Score:5, Funny)
I had the pleasure of seeing one of his lectures. This was before the breathing tube and voice synth. Honestly couldn't understand a word he was saying. One of his undergrads would translate for him. Went something like this:
Hawking: "hmm um mumb bllum blbl lun udn ummm mummb lum mum".
SomeGuy: "And we should see a large burst of gamma radiation."
I had a less than elegant friend with me who leaned over to me and whispered: "Wouldn't it be funny if the guy in the wheel chair was just some retarded kid and the other guy was a genius who didn't want noterity?"
Re:Oh dear (Score:3, Funny)
I am Jack's medulla oblongata.
Re:Oh dear (Score:3, Funny)
Please submit all patches in unified diff format, with all paths listed from the project root.
Re:Oh dear (Score:2, Funny)
all that while being completely wheelchair bound and having a speech impediment.
Hey, most of us have American accents, you insensitive clod!
Re:The Facts (Score:5, Funny)
I am grateful for all that he has done in stealing knowledge from the unknown and delivering it to mankind. I know my own personal state of understanding owes him a great deal.
Hey, now. Don't say that too loudly, or the Unknown Knowledge Industry Association of America will sue him into silence.
Re:A Legend (Score:5, Funny)
Mr. Hawking has contributed man things to the fields of science and written some truly great books.
Can't fault someone that contributes man things.
Re:Oh dear (Score:5, Funny)
However! Don't you DARE insinuate that the holiest of holies, Santa Claus, is just a children's story! Your feeble words will only make my faith in dear Santa stronger! Evidence smevidence!
Re:Oh dear (Score:1, Funny)
Accept Jebus into your life!
Mathematics, Alchemy and Regular expressions will not save you from an eternity burning in the fires of hell!
Re:Oh dear (Score:3, Funny)
Or is that you can't prove it's not, so it is?
Agh. This is why I don't like religion and conspiracy debates.
Re:WOW (Score:5, Funny)
My heart goes out to him and hopefully will get better.
Maybe if your heart actually went out to him, this whole crisis could be averted in time?
Re:Oh dear (Score:3, Funny)
I hate to link to another post of mine in another thread, but I think it's appropriate here. I very much DO believe in intangible, imaginary friends [slashdot.org], and frankly find myself MORE enlightened for trusting in my Gods to deliver me to the truth.
Some people call me wacko for that, but those people also invariably bask in the works my Gods have allowed to be through Their Divine Influence. Personally, I find it hypocritical, but not blasphemous. I would guess that blasphemy is hard to actually pull off in my religion, but I think it could be possible [wikipedia.org], if you try hard enough.
Hey, I'm just sayin, it's not as crazy as it sounds, when it's obviously true.
Re:A long time ago... (Score:5, Funny)
Correction: Alphabet Soup Nazi.
Re:Oh dear (Score:2, Funny)
God and Stephen (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Oh dear (Score:1, Funny)
Besides, it's turtles all the way down.
Re:God and Stephen (Score:5, Funny)
I see God sitting down with Stephen, winking and then saying something like, "Hey, did you get what I did with that 10 dimension thing and how it really changes when you look at it in 11 dimensions. Trippy, right?"
Hawking: I also spotted your unintentional mistake which become clear when you look at in 12 dimensions
God: You mother-fsckin' smartass
Re:Oh dear (Score:5, Funny)
Wow. That is a compelling excuse for slacking off you've got there.
Re:Oh dear (Score:3, Funny)
That doesn't appear to be Jesus. It reads more like a C'thulu cult site.
Re:Oh dear (Score:1, Funny)
It's not even accurate according to the bible, the only reason Christ wants you to accept him is so he can teach you to be happy and good. He doesn't actually ever say "accept me" he says "follow me."
In Jesus own words. "He who believes in me shall not perish but have everlasting life"
Re:Note to the BBC (Score:1, Funny)
How about this one [theonion.com]?
Re:Oh dear (Score:1, Funny)