Fermilab Not Dead Yet, Discovers Rare Single Top Quark

Several sources are reporting that in spite of LHC hype, Fermilab's Tevatron has produced another feat for scientific discovery. Currently the world's most powerful operating particle accelerator, the Tevatron has allowed researchers to observe a rare single Top Quark. "Previously, top quarks had only been observed when produced by the strong nuclear force. That interaction leads to the production of pairs of top quarks. The production of single top quarks, which involves the weak nuclear force and is harder to identify experimentally, has now been observed, almost 14 years to the day of the top quark discovery in 1995."

And

[Mozk]

This quark was not charmed by being photographed.

Re:And

[Amazing Quantum Man]

That sounds rather strange.

Re:And

[CaptainPatent]

This quark was not charmed by being photographed.

Strange.

Re:And

[Anonymous Coward]

Should I mod this "up" or "down" ?

Re:And

[CaptainPatent]

Should I mod this "up" or "down" ?

If we measure, won't that change the outcome?

Here's some context.

[Anonymous Coward]

http://www.smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1452#comic [smbc-comics.com]

Re:I wonder

[im_thatoneguy]

Hmm. The use of quarks are like saying what is the use of an child.

Coincidentally in this case the answer is the same: Nothing.

Re:And

[Kjella]

No, but the girl [xkcd.com] was. Ok, a badly drawn stick girl in a webcomic was anyway ;)

Re:And

[staryc]

Should I mod this "up" or "down" ?

If we measure, won't that change the outcome?

We should let it simultaneously exist as funny and not exist as funny.

Re:And

[CaptainPatent]

We should let it simultaneously exist as funny and not exist as funny.

Well that certainly puts a spin on things.

Which came first, the comic or the announcement?

[illegalcortex]

Seems appropriate. [smbc-comics.com]

Sub-Atomic Porn

[Anonymous Coward]

Yes, the Top Quark has now been observed. What they didn't tell you is that it was smacking around a naked, tied-up and moaning Bottom Quark at the time.

Re:And

[interkin3tic]

It's going to be hard to top that one. And... uh... my bottom hurts.

(that last one was a stretch I know)

Re:And

[MarkRose]

We should let it simultaneously exist as funny and not exist as funny.

That would be almost as spooky as pink ponies!

Re:And

[dpiven]

have you used the Internet lately? Invented at CERN.

World Wide Web (invented at CERN) != Internet (invented by Al Gore).

Re:size doesn't matter

[loganljb]

I think that what this actually demonstrates is that it isn't the size of the accelerator that matters -- it's how long you can keep it running before it explodes.

Re:And

[Idiomatick]

I think this whole interaction is weak. Anti-funny really, sorry to be so negative my mother was a muon.

Re:And

[rubycodez]

And... uh... my bottom hurts.....a stretch I know

sounds like your charm and beauty led to a strange coupling

Re:I'm dumb, I think.

[jd]

They do, but in the Middle East, they are not permitted to be seen in public without wearing a full atom.

Ohhhhhhhhh..... REALLY???

[Anonymous Coward]

If it gets modded up, you can color me tickled pink.

I'd bet you wouldn't say that to the grand NAGUS??

Re:And

[HeadlessNotAHorseman]

>>High energy physics has a rich history of spinoff technologies. Ever had an MRI?
>>The superconducting magnets used in an MRI machine come out of particle accelerators.

I can't count the number of times people have stolen the super-conducting magnets from my particle accelerator to make MRI machines. Right now I'm stuck with a backlog of stationary particles in a jar in my back shed. I tried accelerating them by putting them in the passenger seat and driving down the road really fast, but it just wasn't the same :-(

Re:And

[markov_chain]

I think there is a high probability this thread will collapse into a series of bad puns.

Re:And

[edsyc]

Al Gore created both the internet and world wide web, you idiots!

Re:And

[rsandwick3]

tough to gauge where all these off-color remarks are coming from... maybe we're from different generations?

Re:And

[amchugh]

Single top quarks can't be charmed without becoming topless, and then they don't like to be photographed until you ply them with enough drinks that they collapse.

Re:And

[Dr. Cody]

That's what makes it the sweetest revenge against his kind.

Re:And

[impaledsunset]

I was once modded -5: Anti-funny, but that on another Slashdot. You should see how this story looked there, when they discovered the top antiquark.

Re:And

[Anonymous Coward]

And... uh... my bottom hurts.....a stretch I know

sounds like your charm and beauty led to a strange coupling

The Truth is out there...

Update: Top Quark Cancels EHarmony.com Account

[tillerman35]

Rueters, Batavia IL: Citing a weak nuclear force and inability to provide satisfying quantum entanglement, a local Top Quark has cancelled his EHarmony.com account and given up on finding a paired partner. "I feel like I'm decaying into something strange. I'm down all the time. At the bottom of my barrel. It's sort of like I'm never quite sure of where I am, or where I'm going, or at least not both at the same time," said the disappointed fundamental particle of creation.

EHarmony.com representatives say they tried to talk the depressed 31x10^-33year-old, but were unable to convince him to keep his account active. "We don't offer refunds, but we did him an additional 6 femtoseconds to find that scintillating someone."

When interviewed, the parents of the particle, also expressed disappointment. "We were hoping he'd find a Jewish girl, get married, maybe give us a little boson someday. Where did I go wrong?" sobbed his mother. "He'll be fine, honey" said the quark's father, comforting his wife. "After all, we had to go through 20 billion collisions to find each other, didn't we?" The father, a well-respected lawyer and his wife, a homemaker, live in Hackensack but speak to their son regularly.

Looking at his latest matches, the Top Quark sighed. "Mom and Dad are so different. He's a proton, she's so totally anti-proton. I don't know. If they could find each other, why can't I find anybody?"

Re:Queue the gay, leather scene, quark jokes

[geekgirlandrea]

Are the top quarks rarer than the sub bottom quarks?

Yes, but they wear one of eight different colors of gluon in their left pants pocket so you can identify them easily.