Oldest Nuclear Family Found Murdered In Germany 186
Pickens writes "The oldest genetically identifiable nuclear family met a violent death, according to analysis of remains from 4,600-year-old burials in Germany where the broken bones of these stone age people show they were killed in a struggle. Comparisons of DNA from one grave confirm it contained a mother, father, and their two children. 'We're really sure, based on hard biological facts not just supposing or assuming,' says Dr. Wolfgang Haak, from The Australian Centre for Ancient DNA. The stone-age people are thought to belong to a group known as the Corded Ware Culture, signified by their pots decorated with impressions from twisted cords. The children and adult males had the same type of strontium in their teeth — which was also found locally, but the nearest match to the women's teeth was at least 50km away, suggesting they had moved to the area. 'They were definitely murdered, there are big holes in their heads, fingers and wrists are broken,' says Dr. Alistair Pike from Bristol University. He noted that one victim even had the tip of a stone weapon embedded in a vertebra. 'You feel some kind of sympathy for them, it's a human thing, somebody must have really cared for them. ... We don't know how hard daily life was back there and if there was any space for love,' added Dr. Haak."
How the heck.. (Score:5, Funny)
How the heck did they survive 4600 years? Was it from all the radiation?? Were they zombies? That is so awesome
Ouch (Score:5, Funny)
Does the local police have any leads? (Score:5, Funny)
The perpetrator of this monstrosity must be caught and brought to justice!
Re:How the heck.. (Score:5, Funny)
Care for sure (Score:5, Funny)
it's a human thing, somebody must have really cared for them
Big holes in the head, broken limbs, bits of stone axe in the back? someone must have really cared for them, but in a Charlie Manson sort of way...
Re:Does the local police have any leads? (Score:4, Funny)
(sunglasses)
(exit)
Yeaaaaaaah!
Re:Does the local police have any leads? (Score:5, Funny)
I am sure they are working in shifts on this case.
Re:MOD PARENT DOWN -1 UNFUNNY WITH BAD TASTE (Score:5, Funny)
I like bad taste.. but then again, I'm German.
Which raises the question: (Score:5, Funny)
Is that the tip of a stone weapon embedded in your vertebra or are you just happy to see me?
Were Dinosaurs pink and other tales (Score:5, Funny)
I often wonder, when we put characteristics on people when we name them are we making a huge mistake.
Imagine, if you will...
Here's Guntherisk, master of all he surveys, wielder of the mighty stone ax of Guildergrump, slayer of men and ravisher of women - confident that his greatness will be remembered in tales and song for thousands of years to come.
Well apparently not, he will be remembered for his brilliant idea of putting cord marks into pottery (which was actually Mrs Guntherisk's idea).
Space for love (Score:5, Funny)
"We don't know how hard daily life was back there and if there was any space for love"
"there are big holes in their heads"
Hell yeah. Mod me nasty, but you're feelin it.
Re:MOD PARENT DOWN -1 UNFUNNY WITH BAD TASTE (Score:5, Funny)
But then, the small scale of the atrocity strikes me rather Ungerman, sorry for the taste, I'm German too.
And just for the record, a quotation, attribute, of Margret Thatcher after a German football (soccer) victory:
Re:Does the local police have any leads? (Score:1, Funny)
Ugg slung first.
Keep in mind (Score:2, Funny)
Fellow readers,
Keep in mind that the world back then was a much more dangerous place than it is now. 4600 years ago, nearly anything could have been considered a weapon of mass destruction; rocks, branches, fresh poop on a sharpened stick, et cetera, et cetera. We can proudly say that now the only weapons of mass destruction are nuclear bombs and biological/chemical weaponry...but this simply wasn't so back then.
What has not been outlined in this report, but is a subject of speculation, is that these people were preparing weapons of mass destruction a bit too close the Georgedubyaenthal Valley and were dealt with as what they were/may not have been doing.
I'm not an expert on Paleolithic Politics, but as history has taught us, the victors write the history books that their leaders are too illiterate to read.
And yes, the article is correct in that they are the first known Nukular Family, their homestead was found on what is now known as the Nukular Plateau which is far the the right of the older archeological dig known as the Nuclear Region. Sadly, evidence of that was wiped out by the Georgedubyaenthals... ...so we speculate.
that subject sounds like a conspiracy lead-in (Score:5, Funny)
Bloody murder... or bloody LIE? Four mysterious skeletons found with holes in their skulls: join us as we delve into this shocking tale. Archaeologists say they were murdered... but could the truth be far more horrible?
Re:That's a terrible headline? (Score:5, Funny)
That would be startling. There aren't any Grizzly Bears in Europe.
Re:How the heck.. (Score:1, Funny)
How is this funny? What does Germany have to do with WMDs?
Isn't the correct inappropriate humor for this situation to speculate that this was a family of Jews?
Unsolved Mystery (Score:4, Funny)
Re:Space for love? Sure. (Score:5, Funny)
Haven't had time to do extensive research on it (just a few quick 'googles'), but it seems as though many people do put the event of the Noachian Flood at 2360BC or thereabouts.
If that is the case then the violence shown toward this family was actually characteristic of the time they lived in. The Nephilim (known as Fellers of Men) were said to be extremely large and violent (and wouldn't you be, if you were the abomination-son of a demon?). It's also said that the Earth was filled with violence, so much so that God became saddened over his having created Humans who now acted so badly. This, in fact, motivated Him to wipe out the wicked people of that ancient world - doing so by a global deluge.
Re:That's a terrible headline? (Score:2, Funny)