Researchers Developing Cancer-Fighting Beer 283
CWmike writes "Ever picked up a cold, frosty beer on a hot summer's day and thought that it simply couldn't get any better? Well, think again. A team of researchers at Rice University in Houston is working on helping Joe Six Pack fight aging and cancer with every swill of beer." Thank you science! Now we just need cigarettes that cure baldness.
Baldness (Score:5, Funny)
I think if Star Trek has taught us anything, it's that baldness is one thing that will never be cured.
Shoot (Score:1, Funny)
I'd be happy if it just cured my 'roids :)
Rice? (Score:5, Funny)
Beer from Rice University? I hope it doesn't taste like Budweiser.
Spinal detachment (Score:5, Funny)
And they added that giving high doses to invertebrates extends their life spans
So if we remove our spines and drink a lot of this miracle beer, we can increase our lifespans? Tell me where to get this beer!
Re:Baldness (Score:5, Funny)
In Star Trek Appearance doesn't matter. Only disobeying rules at key moments matters.
Alcohol, the cause of and solution to. . . (Score:5, Funny)
Baldness is not a disease! (Score:5, Funny)
Now, cut it out! God made a few good heads. He had to cover the rest with hair.
Re:Guinness already does it... (Score:5, Funny)
Yeah, the science is still out on 'Zapping' oxidants.
Re:I liked it, but... (Score:4, Funny)
that completely invalidates our excuse then:
"Honey, Would you put that beer down and go mow the lawn?!"
"Can't sweetie, it's time for my treatment!"
Chemotherapy (Score:2, Funny)
Did anyone else... (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Wine (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Spinal detachment (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Did anyone else... (Score:1, Funny)
His name, of course, would be Lumpy the Bear. Think about it.
Re:Just great (Score:2, Funny)
and typing lessons? :P
Re:Baldness (Score:5, Funny)
Curing baldness would probably be one of the evils that was abandoned after the Eugenics Wars. I'll note that Khan had a full head of hair. It's a slippery slope from Rogaine to genocide.
Re:Baldness (Score:3, Funny)
In Star Trek Appearance doesn't matter. Only disobeying rules at key moments matters.
In that case, here's your new red shirt. We were going to give you the blue shirt, but that wouldn't tell the audience that you're about to die. The way team will be beaming down to the dangerous planet immediately.
Clinical Trials (Score:5, Funny)
Where do we apply for clinical trials?!
Aikon-
Re:Rice? (Score:5, Funny)
Beer from Rice University? I hope it doesn't taste like Budweiser.
It it's from Rice, that makes it Sake.
(duh!)
Re:Spinal detachment (Score:4, Funny)
So it only works on Democrats?
Re:I liked it, but... (Score:3, Funny)
In general, the addition of the resveratrol shouldn't affect the taste of the beer, since the chemical is odorless and tasteless, he said.
So, why not adding it to... water? Because that way you wouldn't get in the newspaper, not even a /. mention?
Dude, shut up! Seriously... Next you'll be on about how you can get the benefits of the glass of wine a day in a capsule without having to drink a glass of wine, or about how the health benefits from sex are the same for masturbation. You callous bastard, what are you trying to do, drive up the suicide rate?
What about AIDS-fighting condoms?... (Score:2, Funny)
Don't diss the bears! (Score:4, Funny)
Do not underestimate the potential of nanobears with regards to their ability to fight diseases like cancer. I for one welcome our microscopic ursine overlords.
Re:Baldness is not a disease! (Score:3, Funny)
One I've always liked is:
"We were all born with the same amount of testosterone. If you want to waste yours growing hair, that's your business."
Re:So true (Score:3, Funny)
me: uh, is this beer really supposed to be stringy?
homebrewer: you just don't know good beer.
me: i hope it's the good kind of bacteria
Re:Rice? (Score:3, Funny)
New Support Group (Score:2, Funny)
Re:I liked it, but... (Score:3, Funny)
That's why god put cupholders on riding lawnmowers.
Beer... (Score:3, Funny)
...is there nothing it can't do?
Re:Spinal detachment (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Baldness (Score:5, Funny)
that's a common misconception. they're actually killed by sudden intense bursts of high-energy gamma rays, which are invisible to the naked eye. the sparks are secondary effects added artificially by the ship's computer system to make the crewmen's deaths look more festive.
this feature was deemed necessary to save doomed crew members from the shame of dying unceremoniously by innocuous-looking console malfunctions. in fact, before the pyrotechnic sparks and digital sound effects were added, many console operators' deaths would go unnoticed for hours, and sometimes even days. often Starfleet captains would unknowingly complete entire missions with a bridge full of dead crewmen sitting at their consoles--this is also why officers are now required to stand at the tactical station.
Re:Making love in a canoe (Score:4, Funny)
Any drink that becomes more palatable the colder it gets is not worth drinking in the first place. What next -- Bud Numb, with anaesthetics to dull your tastebuds while you desperately try to prove your manliness by downing the foul stuff without vomiting?
Re:Guinness already does it... (Score:5, Funny)
Re:So true (Score:5, Funny)
Shit! How could I have been so wrong all my life! Thanks for opening my eyes. Nary a drop of that evil black stuff will pass my lips ever again, it's homebrew from here on in.
One question, though, how long does it actually take before I'm a fully fledged member of the "Association Of Home Brewers and Other Tedious Arseholes That Sit At Home On Their Own Smugly Pontificating About How They Know Everything Society"?
Get over yourself.
Re:Making love in a canoe (Score:5, Funny)
I apologize in advance... (Score:4, Funny)
Hence motto, "to baldly go where no one has gone before."
Re:Making love in a canoe (Score:2, Funny)
Budweiser is a good beer. and let me remind you its not a dark beer. Yes there is a lot of water in it. But it does have a good taste. And also, you should try the new Budweiser American Lager, Its pretty good i think.
thats just my two sense. Im just sick of people talking shit about budweiser when all they drink is Bush light!