Single Neuron Wired To Muscle Un-Paralyzes Monkeys 180
GalaticGrub writes "A pair of paralyzed monkeys regained the ability to move their arms after researchers wired individual neurons to the monkeys' arm muscles. A team of researchers at the University of Washington temporarily paralyzed each monkey's arm, then rerouted brain signals from a single neuron in the motor cortex around the blocked nerve pathway via a computer. When the neuron fired above a certain rate, the computer translated the signal into a jolt of electricity to the arm muscle, causing it to contract. The monkeys practiced moving their arms by playing a video game."
Sucky job (Score:5, Funny)
Who's the grad student who had to break those monkeys spines?
Yes (Score:5, Funny)
But can you teach them to type??
Re:Yes (Score:5, Funny)
But can you teach them to type??
Of course; that's how they expect their thesis to be written.
Re:Better title would be.... (Score:5, Funny)
That gold won't farm itself...
Ob. (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Better title would be.... (Score:4, Funny)
I bet they've already learned how to get around DRM.
Re:Sucky job (Score:4, Funny)
Amazing (Score:5, Funny)
Amazing! This is truly a wonderful time to be a monkey.
Well, I just hope (Score:2, Funny)
they mounted a scratch monkey first.
Re:Sucky job (Score:1, Funny)
Who's the grad student who had to break those monkeys spines?
The most ambitious and dedicated monkey spanker you'll ever meet!
As an aside, if you do, by chance meet him, don't shake his hand. Postgrads in the Simian Abuse dept. have a hellova grip...
Correlation != Causation (Score:4, Funny)
The researchers who published this should have 'Correlation is not causation' written in giant billboards in front of their houses.
Just 2 monkeys regained movement after the experiment does not mean that rerouting brain signals past blocked nerve pathways using a single neuron controlled by a computer did anything at all. They should have waited until they had ruled out other possibilities, like divine intervention, before publishing results. For shame!
Seems ripe for exploitation (Score:5, Funny)
Seems ripe for exploitation...
"...Quit hitting yourself! Quit hitting yourself..."
Re:Better title would be.... (Score:5, Funny)
You were killed by b33st13b0y.
b33st13b0y: lol pwned
b33st13b0y: ur mom is ghey
b33st13b0y: suk it
I think we've known this for quite some time.
Shock the Monkey (Score:5, Funny)
Whoever tagged this article "shockthemonkey" is awesome.
Re:Sooo... What if they connected a human's brain (Score:4, Funny)
Re:hallelujah (Score:4, Funny)
They have their specialization and you have yours.
Re:Yes (Score:3, Funny)
Since I'm going to be working on my Master's thesis soon methinks paying the university for the monkeys might not be a bad idea. But, I want to finish ASAP. I am willing to pay for a Beowulf-cluster of typing monkeys. And I want a guarantee that the monkeys will not screw-up. I do no want my thesis to be cluster-fucked!
Re:Sooo... What if they connected a human's brain (Score:3, Funny)
I hope you're not serious. It would be far easier and quicker to use robots or human suicide-bombers or just about anything else, really.
Yeah, but watching monkeys blow themselves up would be way more fun.
WoW (Score:2, Funny)
That explains those WoW players flinging poop at me.
Re:Yes (Score:3, Funny)
I've heard rumor that a million of them can reproduce the works of Shakespeare. Oh, and fling poo. I almost forgot that part.
Re:Better title would be.... (Score:3, Funny)
1 = i
(My apologies to anyone that works with complex numbers.)
Re:Sooo... What if they connected a human's brain (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Sucky job (Score:4, Funny)
Oooh ooh ooh I finally get to say it!
WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSH!
Dear God, free us from religion... (Score:4, Funny)
That site is real, isn't it? For the first few minutes of reading I convinced myself that it was just a funny hoax site, but the deeper I went into it the more scared I became...
Would it be irony if I prayed to God to free us from religion? I still don't have that whole irony thing down yet.
Re:oo oo oo oooo snort (Score:3, Funny)
Odd note, but monkeys seem to have a preference for holding down the s key on american keyboard layouts.
Apparently, grad students will write a thesis about anything...
Re:Sucky job (Score:3, Funny)
Actually, they used members of a Congressional committee tasked with investigating executive branch wrongdoing...
So, spines weren't an issue.
Re:Sucky job (Score:5, Funny)
"ooh ooh ooh" ?
- Did one of the monkeys escape and start posting on slashdot?
Re:Sucky job (Score:1, Funny)
Funny doesn't give mod points... at least I hope thats the reason.
So, that's who beat me! (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Sucky job (Score:3, Funny)
I'd bet that depends on your view of "cruel" now doesn't it.
PETA would like to thank you for your post.
so would the CLIT commander.
Re:Sooo... What if they connected a human's brain (Score:2, Funny)