What If Dark Matter Really Doesn't Exist? 1063
sonar67 writes "According to The Economist: 'It was beautiful, complex and wrong. In 150AD, Ptolemy of Alexandria published his theory of epicycles--the idea that the moon, the sun and the planets moved in circles which were moving in circles which were moving in circles around the Earth. This theory explained the motion of celestial objects to an astonishing degree of precision. It was, however, what computer programmers call a kludge: a dirty, inelegant solution. Some 1,500 years later, Johannes Kepler, a German astronomer, replaced the whole complex edifice with three simple laws. Some people think modern astronomy is based on a kludge similar to Ptolemy's. At the moment, the received wisdom is that the obvious stuff in the universe--stars, planets, gas clouds and so on--is actually only 4% of its total content. About another quarter is so-called cold, dark matter, which is made of different particles from the familiar sort of matter, and can interact with the latter only via gravity. The remaining 70% is even stranger. It is known as dark energy, and acts to push the universe apart. However, the existence of cold, dark matter and dark energy has to be inferred from their effects on the visible, familiar stuff. If something else is actually causing those effects, the whole theoretical edifice would come crashing down.'"
I Wish I Was a Scientist (Score:5, Funny)
70% Dark force!? (Score:5, Funny)
Jedi don't stand a chance.
What difference would it make? (Score:2, Funny)
I Agree (Score:1, Funny)
Re:Dust (Score:1, Funny)
Then Dark Suckers would be useless (Score:2, Funny)
Since we know Dark Suckers aren't useless, dark matter must exist.
Q.E.D.
Inverse Tachyon Phase Inducers (Score:3, Funny)
Then wait for Star Trek to invent a new theory.
Well.... (Score:1, Funny)
Blogzine.net [blogzine.net]
Well... (Score:5, Funny)
Re:I Wish I Was a Scientist (Score:5, Funny)
FF (Score:2, Funny)
Before the idea of dark matter was put forward (Score:2, Funny)
PS: forgot something important (Score:2, Funny)
Open Universe is Hyperbolic (Infinite)
A Closed Universe is Spheric (Finite but boundaryless)
All I know is... (Score:5, Funny)
Most excellent (Score:4, Funny)
Re:what if theory didn't exist? (Score:5, Funny)
Regards,
Steve
Re:Thank god for the sun... (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Correct me if I'm wrong... (Score:5, Funny)
Gravity bleeding between universes...
Who needs science fiction?
Re:the economist? (Score:3, Funny)
If it had been in the New York Times, I'd have bitched about the registration instead. Think of this as a change of pace.
Re:Energy = Matter (Score:2, Funny)
Oh great, Thanks. Now all I can hear in my head is Spock saying "pure energy" over and over again.
well if it doesn't exist (Score:2, Funny)
Exist? I was just playing it this weekend... (Score:2, Funny)
Stupid Alternity getting cancelled... First Dark Sun, then Dark Matter... screw this, I'm going to go play Cyberball.
Voodoo Cosmologics? (Score:2, Funny)
Can it be that Economic theories have proven so certain and stable over the centuries there just isn't much to write about the possibility of an economic theory being subject to re-thinking?
Umm....OK? (Score:5, Funny)
The parent is either the most insightful thing ever posted, or the biggest bunch of doubletalk crap I've ever read.
Would someone please translate this and tell me what the hell is being said?
Re:what if theory didn't exist? (Score:2, Funny)
yeah, ok, but who cares about them?
of fudge factors and relativity, a modest treatise (Score:5, Funny)
it certainly explains where a lot of my assignments come from at work, lol
Re:Perhaps.... (Score:4, Funny)
What if the universe IS a kludge? (Score:3, Funny)
I've always wondered how the scientific community would react if someone actually discovered a grand unified theory that works unbelievably well in every concievable respect, but is also unbelievably kludgey?
Basically: what if God had to debug and patch the universe over and over? What if it really, really is a big fat blob of kludgey spaghetti code?
How many scientists would accept that? Considering the value that scientists place on elegance, I don't think many would. In fact, I don't know if I would, myself!
Re:what if theory didn't exist? (Score:5, Funny)
Dang, their billable hours must have krunked the project.
Maybe if we wait another year the program will halt...?
Too bad they were so bent on epicycles, TRON has a much cooler cycle game and it works!
(-1, troll)
Re:I Wish I Was a Scientist (Score:5, Funny)
Even if you don't understand it, you can always find nuggets like this:
The Newton observations are at the limits of accuracy, so a mistake could have crept in.
The next time I've got to report on something, you can bet that my estimations will be at "the limits of accuracy."
Re:Brief History... (Score:5, Funny)
As a scientist, I'm sure you can completely explain this mathematically, as a scientist should.
Oh wait, you're not a scientist. Oh well.
Re:what if theory didn't exist? (Score:5, Funny)
self selection = creation (Score:3, Funny)
I'm not a Clarica Financial Advisor.... (Score:4, Funny)
So:
"If dark matter doesn't exist, there will be a lot of erasers sold to the astrophysics department of your friendly neighbourhood university"
DG
Re:Most excellent (Score:3, Funny)
I think you're confusing dark matter and poorly lit matter.
Re:Resistance to change (Score:4, Funny)
There's nothing more piteous than a zombie scientist scouring the halls of CERN, muttering about "Brains!" and "WIMPs!" for all eternity.
Cosmologists have it easy (Score:4, Funny)
Compare that to the potential fate of the poor wretch who disproves the Riemann Hypothesis, and undoes almost all progress in pure mathematics since the beginning of the 20th century. I know for a fact that there is a basement in Cambridge [cam.ac.uk] where this person will live out their days being forced to review unsolicited "proofs" of duplicating the cube, trisecting the angle, and squaring the circle.
Re:70% Dark force!? (Score:5, Funny)
Don't worry. Dark Jedi are like Republicans: When become all-powerful they then turn on each other and restore balance.
Re:Resistance to change (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Pardon my naivete (Score:1, Funny)
Re:Umm....OK? (Score:3, Funny)
I've got some Dark Matter for you. It also repels elephants.
Ah, good ol' rock. Nothing ever beats rock.
Ah, but it does... (Score:5, Funny)
Re:What if the universe IS a kludge? (Score:5, Funny)
If an omniscient power built us, I hope He/She wrote in a high-level language and then compiled with some heavy optimizations turned on (-oGOD?). If They were hand-rolling this shit, I'd like to have a word or two with Them.
Re:what if theory didn't exist? (Score:2, Funny)
Note to future readers (Score:2, Funny)
You are probably reading these comments trying to get a feel for all of the silly things we believed in way back here in the 2000's and boy you've hit a gold mine with this "web site" (pardon the archaic terminology, and for the record a "gold mine" was a place where people dug Gold out of the ground. Gold was worth a lot because it was a rare metal that couldn't be created artificially very economically).
I just wanted to point out that these views certainly aren't representative of the educated among us, so please don't think we're all stuck on magical explanations for things that seem pretty obvious.
Anyways, hope you're all doing well.
Re:Ah, but it does... (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Ladies and Gentlemen: The Scientific Method (Score:4, Funny)
Then you need an Electric Monk (tm).
Re:Ladies and Gentlemen: The Scientific Method (Score:3, Funny)
Actually, God is a Bhuddist.
As if "the beginning of Time" makes sense... (Score:2, Funny)
Re:what if theory didn't exist? (Score:2, Funny)
A bunch of astronomers were at a convention and the speaker was talking about the sun. He said, "In five billion years when the sun dies..." and there was a gasp from the back of the room and a man stood up.
Everyone was silent, including the speaker.
The man says, "Excuse me, how long did you say?"
"Five billion years."
"Whew! For a minute there, I thought you said 5 *million* years."
Ok, I thought it was funny. I'll sit down now.
The dark side! (Score:2, Funny)
Re:what if theory didn't exist? (Score:1, Funny)
Even inaccurate theories have value (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Fourier was a plagerist (Score:4, Funny)
This should be modded "funny"