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Biotech Science

At Long Last, Mice Produce Sperm From Monkeys 93

Posted by timothy from the not-this-monkey dept.
Hoon Mihn Fao writes "The BBC Reports: 'Mice have been used to produce viable monkey sperm using tissue transplanted from the testes of macaques. The U.S. scientists involved say their work might one day help to conserve animals that are facing extinction.'"
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At Long Last, Mice Produce Sperm From Monkeys More

At Long Last, Mice Produce Sperm From Monkeys

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  • Just think... (Score:5, Funny)

    by p4ul13 ( 560810 ) on Wednesday February 04, 2004 @02:14PM (#8181196) Homepage
    ...how surprised the mouse on the recieving end of this will be when she gives birth to a monkey.
  • My brain is overloaded.... hard to resist the many many bad jokes.
    Must hit submit quick!

  • Wow! Look at them go! (Score:5, Funny)

    by TrebleJunkie ( 208060 ) <ezahurakNO@SPAMatlanticbb.net> on Wednesday February 04, 2004 @02:15PM (#8181214) Homepage Journal
    ...Those mice are f*cking like monk-- oh, wait.
  • Comment removed based on user account deletion

  • whoa ... phew!! (Score:3, Funny)

    by blandthrax ( 575357 ) on Wednesday February 04, 2004 @02:20PM (#8181268)
    For a minute there I thought it said "spam from monkeys."

  • And the understatement of the year award (Score:4, Insightful)

    by eclectro ( 227083 ) on Wednesday February 04, 2004 @02:20PM (#8181269)
    goes to this statement;

    It might also be possible to grow human sperm in mice, although the team agree this would be a controversial move.

    Just because you can, doesn't mean you should.

    • Just because you can, doesn't mean you should.
      Says YOU.

    • Re:And the understatement of the year award (Score:5, Interesting)

      by lindsayt ( 210755 ) on Wednesday February 04, 2004 @03:50PM (#8182125)
      But what I wonder is, why is it controversial to grow human sperm in mice, but it's not controversial to grow monkey sperm in mice?!?!?

      Call me old-fashioned, but I tend to think that if it's a bad idea to be doing GE on humans then it's probably a bad idea on animals too. If it's okay on animals, it's okay on humans. After all, we're all part of the same evolutionary closed-cycle system, and if we f*ck things up for the animals around us we're f*cked too.

      Also, I hate PETA as much as the next person (Unless it stands for People Eating Tasty Animals) but if we think GE is somehow cruel and horrible for humans, why exactly is it not cruel and horrible for monkeys?

      • Re:And the understatement of the year award (Score:5, Insightful)

        by eclectro ( 227083 ) on Wednesday February 04, 2004 @04:43PM (#8182703)
        But what I wonder is, why is it controversial to grow human sperm in mice, but it's not controversial to grow monkey sperm in mice?!?!?

        The problem I primarily have is having to tell some kid that his biological father was a mouse.

        Imagine the kind of brain fsck you would be handing the kid.

        At least in THX1138 everybody came from the same set of jars.

      • But what I wonder is, why is it controversial to grow human sperm in mice, but it's not controversial to grow monkey sperm in mice?!?!?

        Didn't the OP say the motivation behind the research was to protect against extinction? The means may be perceived as cruel and horrible, but if it preserves an species that would otherwise be lost, the end is not. In any case, the motivations for doing GE on humans are different than the ones they mention here. It's not like we're very close to extinction...

        (Though I

      • So, are you claimin cannibalism is a good idea?

        After all, if we are no different from animals when it comes to genetic testing, why would eating tastey people be any different? That would be a logical step from your point.

        Otherwise, people and animals are different and you have to admit as such. So since we are different we can eat animals and test on animals.
        • All carnivores eat other animals; very few eat their own kind. It *IS* of course a *very* bad idea for humans to eat monkeys and other primates because we are so closely related to them and diseases and other problems can spread rapidly among such species of the same family. So, unless you think eating monkey brains is a good idea, your point is not correct.

          Furthermore, in nature as a general rule flora do not eat anything; herbivore fauna eat flora and no other fauna; and carnivore fauna eat herbivore f
    • Just because you can, doesn't mean you should.

      And just because you shouldn't, doesn't mean you won't.

      History of humanity, really - poking into stuff you'd better leave alone, wondering what will happen.

  • I can't resist the joke here... (Score:5, Funny)

    by Xentor ( 600436 ) on Wednesday February 04, 2004 @02:20PM (#8181270) Homepage
    "It might also be possible to grow human sperm in mice, although the team agree this would be a controversial move."

    GUARD 1: It's not a question of whether it's controversial! It's a simple question of size ratios! A five-inch mouse cannot carry a one-foot human baby!

    GUARD 2: Well suppose two mice carried it together

    -- Monty Python and the Holy Grail (Adapted)
    • Chimpanzee 1: Help! The human's about to escape.
      Troy: Get your paws off me, you dirty ape!
      Chimpanzee 2: (gasp) He can talk!
      Orangutans: He can talk! He can talk! He can talk! He can talk! He can talk! He can talk!
      Troy: And I can siiiiiiiiiiing!
      Chimp Nurse: Oooh! Help me, Dr. Zaius!
      Orangutans: Dr. Zaius! Dr. Zaius!
      Dr. Zaius! Dr. Zaius!
      Dr. Zaius! Dr. Zaius! O, Dr. Zaius!
      Orangutan 1: Dr. Zaius! Dr. Zaius!
      Troy: What's wrong with me?
      Dr. Zaius: I think you're crazy.
      Troy: I want a second opinion.
      Dr.
  • And to think, according to george carlin, today is the 2 million anniversary of sperm. We've come a long way folks :)

  • "At long last..." (Score:5, Funny)

    by abulafia ( 7826 ) on Wednesday February 04, 2004 @02:27PM (#8181328)
    How long, exactly have you been waiting for this development?

    Wait, on second thought, please don't answer that.

  • That has to be the best title ever. "At long last, Mice produce sperm from monkeys." Implied in there is "Finally!"

  • Wow... (Score:5, Funny)

    by NanoGator ( 522640 ) on Wednesday February 04, 2004 @02:31PM (#8181361) Homepage Journal
    "At Long Last, Mice Produce Sperm From Monkeys"

    Wow... somebody has VERY specific tastes....

  • Great story (Score:4, Funny)

    by fredrikj ( 629833 ) on Wednesday February 04, 2004 @02:33PM (#8181378) Homepage
    It took me at least 10 seconds to realize that I had NOT misread the title. *shudder*
  • Junior ... Your father was a mouse.

    Its So Wrong !
  • Well, as we work down Douglas Adams' ladder of earthly intelligence, I can't help but wonder if this will eventually lead to the fullfillment of the dream of those poor souls over at dolphinsex.org [dolphinsex.org]

    Maybe a strain of super-human/dolphin hybrids will supplant mice at the top of the intelligence hierarchy.

    Sorry, I know it's obscure, but hell, this story deserves it.

  • Disturbing (Score:5, Interesting)

    by cgenman ( 325138 ) on Wednesday February 04, 2004 @02:34PM (#8181385) Homepage
    I know nobody here reads the articles, but the most disturbing part of the whole procedure is that the testicular material is grafted onto the mouse's back. The mouse must then be constantly producing a thin gelatinous ooze of reproductive material, which is attempting to burrow into anything and everything nearby.

    Eww.

    • It's better than the alternative. This way, you can get samples with a Q-tip in a couple seconds. The alternative involves tiny little mouse pornos and a pair of latex tweezers.
    • won't that get in the way of it's ear? http://bioteach.ubc.ca/TeachingResources/Genetics/ Mouse&Ear.jpg
    • The mouse must then be constantly producing a thin gelatinous ooze of reproductive material, which is attempting to burrow into anything and everything nearby.

      I'm having a hard time visualising this...

      Fortunatly, the hentai version will be out shortly to serve as an educational visual aid. I mean, with all those schoolgirls in there, its gotta be for educational purposes, right?

    • ...and how is this different from your average teenage boy?

      /Obvious

    • Its pretty clear from the article that the scientists have been able to coax the tissue to produce sperm, sperm is produced by the testes, but semen is produced by a gland near the prostate, they're combined later. But still, something elses swimmers wriggling around under its skin...
  • I'm no cell biologist, but it seems this process could be used to bring back extinct species as well, or at least a part of them. Think about it. Might it be possible to clone tissue from a frozen Mammoth body onto a mouse to produce Mammoth sperm? Of course, one would then need a female.... maybe an elephant? Afterall, they've crossed cattle and buffalo. Oh well, just a thought.

    • Re:Bringing back the Mammoth... (Score:5, Interesting)

      by orthogonal ( 588627 ) on Wednesday February 04, 2004 @04:17PM (#8182428) Journal
      I'm no cell biologist, but it seems this process could be used to bring back extinct species as well, or at least a part of them[....] Of course, one would then need a female.... maybe an elephant?

      That's the rub (no pun intended).

      While we have a basic understanding of genetics, our understanding of embryogenesis -- how a baby organism is built from the genetic code -- is still rather limited.

      We also, in most cases we don't know what a particular gene does, and given that other genes can control a gene's expression, and those genes can be controlled by yet other genes, and all the genes in the process can be influenced by the organisms internal -- hormones, etc. -- and external environment, just what a gene does is a complicated question.

      But it's clear that the environment of the embryo -- which is, by and large, the embryo's mother -- has a strong influence on what's actually produced from the genetic "recipe".

      Experiments cloning cats, for instance, have shown that pelt patterns and hair color are only a little influence by the gene (which makes sense if you consider that getting locked into one pattern, over many generations, makes for poor camouflage -- so not having pelt patterns under genetic control may in fact be a very successful genetic adaptation).

      So while elephants are related to mammoths, it's still an open question whether injecting mammoth DNA into an elephant egg would produce anything viable, let alone anything that would survive to term and be healthy. But you're correct, it might be possible, and if it is, we could then breed successively less "elephant-contaminated" generations of mammoths.

      But it's still far from trivial, and shouldn't be seen as an excuse, as some would use it, to be blase about species extinctions and dwindling species diversity occurring in the present.
    • Aren't elephants scared of mice?

      Maybe use a pig instead of a mouse...
  • "Theoretically, it could enable a boy to become a father before he reached puberty."

    So who's really the father? The boy or the mouse? The mouse is the one producing the sperm, not the boy. Oy, my head is spinning.


  • I don't know why he climbs like that, or the fact that he loves cheese. Sometimes I wonder where that sperm bank got their inventory!

  • Now I'll have the perfect mousnkey. Perhaps they will also have a four assed mouse soon.

    I find this... really really disturbing... *shiver*
  • Mickey Mouse is sitting at his desk, reading Slashdot, and thinking: "Now I know how all those white women must have felt."
  • Did I miss something? I didn't know that monkeys were having a problem producing sperm. I'm not sure what the mice are going to do with but it just makes one shudder. (Slow news day at /. huh?)
  • I knew I had a monkey banging away on my keyboard, but now I'll have an opportunity to find out if one monkey on the back of a mouse will browse to www.hamlet.com
  • At Long Last, Mice Produce Sperm From Monkeys

    Producing sperm from monkeys is easy, you just have to massage their...erm, never mind.

  • I've been telling people this for years, but now it's got an additional ring of truth: please put a condom on your mouse before inserting it in your vagina.
  • would be a four assed monkey.

  • Poor kids... (Score:4, Funny)

    by !splut ( 512711 ) <sputNO@SPAMalum.rpi.edu> on Wednesday February 04, 2004 @05:13PM (#8182956) Journal
    From the article: "Prepubescent boys undergoing treatment for cancer that will render them sterile could benefit, Professor Dobrinski suggest."

    "Billy, the doctors have good news. The cancer is in remission, and you're going to make a complete recovery! And guess what else? The doctors have given you a pet immunodeficient mouse! Take good care of him Mr. Fuzzy if you ever want to have kids of your own."
    • "So, uhh, honey? Know how we really want to have kids? Remember when I told you about that surgery that I had when I was real young for this cancerous tumour. Well, it made me sterile, but they gave me this rat and..."
  • .. we'll your mother was a rat... and your father was a gerbil.. I guess that explains the IQ...

    WTF are these people doing this for? Do they intend on bring back the wolly mamouth using a mouse...? first glow in the dark fish that are possibly going to be banned in californina, now this...

  • A South Park moment. (Score:3, Funny)

    by Picass0 ( 147474 ) on Wednesday February 04, 2004 @06:14PM (#8183776) Homepage Journal
    Chef: Hello there children.
    Kyle: Hey Chef.
    Chef: How you doin'?
    Boys: Bad.
    Chef: Why bad?
    Kyle: We need to genetically engineer our mouse and an monkey, but their genes won't splice.
    Chef: Ahhhh, of course they won't splice children. Haven't you ever heard that song by 'Loverboy'?
    Chef: Dooodnnndoodnn - A mouse and an monkey DNA just won't...A mouse-monkey. Say, now that's not a bad idea.
    Kyle: I told you guys.
    Chef: Imagine, a pint sized monkey that you could keep in the house. Children, we could make a fortune with this.
    Kyle: You hear that dudes? We'll be rich!
    Chef: Forget about all that genetic engineering whoosafudge. If you want to combine a mouse and an monkey, just get them to make sweeet love.
    Cartman: Whaaat?!
    Stan: I don't think an monkey would make love to a mouse.
    Cartman: I don't think my mouse would want to make love to that stupid monkey.
    Chef: Sure they would. But you're gonna have to get 'em in the mood.
    Stan: So how do we do that?
    Chef: Do what I do, get 'em goood and drunk.
  • Just when ya think the mailman all you got to worry about.. ya got to keep the damn mice away from your woman too!!!

  • Bukake Mouse? (Score:3, Funny)

    by Ignis Flatus ( 689403 ) on Wednesday February 04, 2004 @07:35PM (#8184735)
    Don't look at me that way, somebody had to say it. Surely I'm not the first to recognize the potential of licensing this technology to the Japanese entertainment industry.

  • Heh (Score:1)

    by Nubmann ( 734092 )
    Well it's about damn time this happened.
  • 1. Does this lab have an affiliate program I can promote?

    and

    2. Makes me think twice feeding mice to my tegus now. As I feed them, I think, "That might've be the grandmother of my future kids kids kids." (well didnt look that close [male? female?] but you get the idea..)

    I cant take it anymore... I'll leave it at that...

  • Who ever betted with the notion "when mice give birth to monkies Ill pay yah"... boy ohh boy they have just lost themselves a lot of money.
  • double-clicking your mouse! Gee, just when you thought we ran out of uses for mice, someone comes along and find another...
  • How many monkeys have to be used by the mice? {monk/mL}. Would it help using a sperm whale instead? Would it help employing *male* mice? (not necesserily white, protestant)

  • New meaning (Score:3, Funny)

    by saramakos ( 693903 ) on Thursday February 05, 2004 @08:03AM (#8187997)
    This explains what people mean when they say "Well I'll be a monkey's uncle" !!
  • "Mice have been used to produce viable monkey sperm using tissue transplanted from the testes of macaques. The U.S. scientists involved say their work might one day help to...

    I almost had a heart attack for a minute there.
  • who are we to decide when it's a species time to go? we are part of nature like everything else, and we seem to think it is our reponsibility to keep everything alive. in the words of Cartman, "It's all a bunch of tree hugging hippie crap!"

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