USA To Return To Moon By 2015, Then Mars 1480
securitas writes "This afternoon George Bush announced space exploration plans for the USA to return to the Moon by 2015, the design and construction of a new space vehicle fleet by 2014 (called the Crew Exploration Vehicle) to replace the aging space shuttles which will be retired in 2010, and the construction of a permanent Moon base, followed by manned missions to Mars. The initiative begins with a $1 billion increase to NASA's budget and $12 billion in new space exploration money over next five years. However Congress is concerned about how to pay for the new space policy initiative in the face of a $500 billion national budget deficit. AP via Yahoo has a Moon/Mars/space policy FAQ, and there's more at NASA and the New York Times among others."
and bush says... (Score:5, Funny)
Was it just me... (Score:5, Funny)
I've been around Texas, and I tell you I've never heard a native Texan mispronounce a word like "exploration" so obviously, repeatedly, and to me, ominously.
Re:and bush says... (Score:3, Funny)
On a serious note, I wonder if I'll live to see the first conception on the moon/in space.
(Yes, I meant both on CNN and in low quality bootleg form from BitTorrent)
Long Shot.... (Score:3, Funny)
How's Bush going to pay for it? (Score:5, Funny)
The way he pays for everything else ... by cutting taxes, of course!
Progress (Score:3, Funny)
Now we can do it in 11!
It sucks. (Score:5, Funny)
In this day and age, when there's metric shitloads of technology all over the place and the internet makes valuable porn as free as air, President Bush gives it twelve years. What a tool.
Now I am reading more, and the deadline is actually 2020. That's seventeen years.
See, Kennedy had the balls to lay a firm deadline down. "You bitches will put a man on the moon before January 1, 1970 or I will come back from the grave and kick your ass," he said. He knew he was going to get shot. That's how hardcore he was. He also got crazy laid by Marilyn Monroe.
President Bush says, "You ought to think about just possibly putting a man on the moon sometime during this five year period."
President Kennedy showed us that you have to slap NASA around a little bit to get them to do anything worthwhile with manned space exploration. You can't be all lovey-dovey and set long gradual timetables.
And Bush mentions "the goal of living and working there for increasingly extended periods." So we'll have another Skylab ISS, but on the moon. The only differences will be that it won't crash into Australia like Skylab (it will crash into the Moon instead - that might sound hard to acheive since it would already be on the surface of the moon, but they will find a way to do that), it will leak more than ISS, and since it won't even be international we won't be able to bum rides from the Russians.
If Kennedy was alive in this day and age he would have said, "Fucking NASA, I am still alive in this day and age so you assholes better have a self-sufficient Mars base by the year 2013. Also make me a space elevator. And resurrect Marilyn Monroe." Then NASA would complain that it is not their job to resurrect people and Kennedy would punch NASA in the eye.
I bet the "Crew Exploration Vehicle" is going to blow the fuck up about twenty times too. You can probably trace the suckiness of manned space exploration to the decision to switch from cool names like "Mercury" and "Apollo" to crappy names like "Skylab" and "STS." When the Apollo blew up they fucking fixed it and came home, but when the Space Shuttle gets fucked up they make Powerpoints about it and ignore the problem.
Tim
Re:How will we fund it? Spend it elsewhere! (Score:4, Funny)
Re:and bush says... (Score:0, Funny)
Re:Budget (Score:5, Funny)
Ah, diminished expectations. (Score:5, Funny)
2004: President (George W.) Bush announces that we're going to the Moon by 2020. Then to Mars.
2013: President (Jeb) Bush announces that the Chinese have agreed to allow us to send an American astronaut to their new moonbase, but only if we abandon all remaining manufacturing efforts.
2022: President (Jenna) Bush sadly informs the country that the Moon has come to us - the Chinese are dropping asteroid sized chunks of lunar debris on us, a new weapon that even our not-yet-deployed Star Wars program can defend against.
2034: An American finally lands on Mars, although only symbolically. A statue of the last President of the United States, Jenna Bush, is erected in the new Martian People's Republic History Museum.
Oh no... space pr0n (Score:3, Funny)
Operation Martian Freedom (Score:5, Funny)
Beagle Discovers Life On Mars
Beagle Discovers Oil On Mars
Bush anounces "Operation Martian Freedom"
Martians wellcome troops but "alien terrorists" from Neptune skirmish with coalition troops.
President Yaxcbat ( Neptune ) announces "Operation Freedom Earth"
Neptunians arrive at Earth and kick some Dubya butt
Neptunians introduce foolproof ballot punching machines using superior alien technology
Republicans thrown out of the Green House ( As the aliens renamed it )
Earth is happy.
NAHHH! Re:How's Bush going to pay for it? (Score:5, Funny)
The Mars ship may not be made in America, and the crew will be Dynagen contractors, but we can take pride in the fact that exclusive broadcast rights of the landings will belong to American big media companies.
I'm sorry I thought I heard... (Score:2, Funny)
Re:How will we fund it? Spend it elsewhere! (Score:3, Funny)
Crew Exploration Vehicle (Score:2, Funny)
I am the only one would immediately thought of cavity searches..?
What a shitty name! (Score:5, Funny)
Then you had the Apollo landers. The name of a *god* who rode through the heavens in a flaming chariot. Now *there*'s an appropriate name. Or the "Saturn V". Named after another god (or a planet, but whatever). Still better than C.E.V.
Has anyone tried to *say* CEV? Chev? Chevy? How are we supposed to pronounce it? I swear, it sounds like a suppository.
This is a sign of bad leadership somewhere. It has to be. No one but a comittee would call a Mars craft the "Crew Exploration Vehicle". I don't want to explore the crew! Eck!
Oh well, I guess some old-timer there has some strange fetish... it is the end of all hope.
Re:Oh no... space pr0n (Score:1, Funny)
Good theory, but wrong (Score:3, Funny)
If you really want to explain the difference between the successful Apollo days and the failed promises of the Space Shuttle, it's to your credit that you've identified the problem as psychological, but you've failed to understand the specific psychology.
What is the most distinctive difference between the Saturn V (and all it's successful kin, including the current ultra-cost-effective Russian rockets servicing the ISS) and the Space Shuttle? The Saturn V looks like a penis.
Come on, think about it. These are rocket scientists here. Many of them aren't getting laid, and the rest aren't getting laid very frequently. If you aren't even going to let them subconsciously work out their frustrations via overcompensating engineering, what reason do they have to get out of bed in the morning, much less reach for the stars?
Re: get life to survive in the harshest (Score:4, Funny)
Re:DIEBOLD (Score:2, Funny)
in the unprecidented vote of 1638458 to 0
Re:How will we fund it? Spend it elsewhere! (Score:5, Funny)
hopefully.
Re:and bush says... (Score:2, Funny)
Nuke them from orbit, it's the only way to be sure.
WMD (Score:2, Funny)
Re:How will we fund it? Spend it elsewhere! (Score:3, Funny)
IT'S HAPPENING... (Score:3, Funny)
You think those explosions in the Australian outback [abc.net.au] are a coincidence? That [sydac.com.au] ain't a fractionator mate, it's a launch tower! Those weren't gas explosions, they were rocket fuel!!! Think Dubya is being a mongrel by not signing Kyoto [unfccc.int]? It's not that he doesn't like it, just that it is irrelevant, 'cause he won't be here!!! Is he a bastard for tearing up the ABM treaty [cnn.com]? He needs that gone so he can get his launch vehicles away! Dick's affilation with big business [halliburton.com] is just a front for the collection of global fatcats [forbes.com] who will be riding the rocketship to freedom, away from environmental disaster.
Up until now the only bit we haven't been able to figure out has been the destination. Now we know! [whitehouse.gov] It's Mars!!! First stop will be the moon, from where Dubya and friends will move onto their new Martian Utopia while the rest of us fry back here on earth!!!
As I write this, I'm boucing through the outback, in a ute [outbackautos.com] with my comrades, tinfoil akubra [akubra.com.au] on my head. Our objective is to save civilisation from this menace . It's a tough mission, but someone's gotta do it. Wish us well and pray for us as we roll towards our destiny...
Bam! (Score:2, Funny)
OK maybe he wasn't that eloquent.
Re:Ah, diminished expectations. (Score:4, Funny)
Lends a whole new meaning to the term, "red planet".
Return to the moon? (Score:2, Funny)
Joe
Don't worry, (Score:5, Funny)
Re:and bush says... (Score:3, Funny)
What I don't understand. . . (Score:3, Funny)
Last week it was 10 years away; this year, 11. (Score:3, Funny)
Re:How will we fund it? Spend it elsewhere! (Score:2, Funny)
Bush did not make that speech! (Score:3, Funny)
Re:What a shitty name! (Score:2, Funny)
according to space.com, it kinda looks [space.com] like a suppository, too.
Re:It sucks. (Score:3, Funny)
If anyone decides to name the next spacecraft "Bilbo", I am personally driving to Pasadena to kick someone's ass.