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IBM Science Technology

IBM Discovers New Class of Polymers 90

Posted by samzenpus
from the brand-new dept.
Charliemopps (1157495) writes "IBM Research has published a new paper to the journal Science which describes a newly discovered class of Industrial Polymers that promise to revolutionize the fields of transportation, aerospace, and microelectronics. These materials resist cracking, have strength higher than that of bone, the ability to self-heal, and are completely recyclable. 'Codenamed Titan and Hydro, both of which came from the same reaction. One is rigid; it could become part of the next generation of computers. The other is a gel, so it it could be included in water-soluble nail polish.'"
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IBM Discovers New Class of Polymers

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  • by NettiWelho (1147351) on Thursday May 15, 2014 @06:14PM (#47013829)
    Yes, thats what makes switching these vacuum tubes so bothersome on my PC.
  • by Anonymous Coward on Thursday May 15, 2014 @06:15PM (#47013837)

    Lemme guess, Titan is the water-soluble one and Hydro is the super-strong one?

  • by m2shariy (1194621) on Thursday May 15, 2014 @07:30PM (#47014203)
    Yes. Even better, condoms which dissolve practically in no time so there is no need to dispose of the used ones!
  • Portal 2? (Score:2, Funny)

    by Anonymous Coward on Thursday May 15, 2014 @09:14PM (#47014709)

    Why does this feel like some long lost intro text to Portal 2?

  • by rgbatduke (1231380) <rgb@@@phy...duke...edu> on Friday May 16, 2014 @07:35AM (#47016533) Homepage

    Re: IBM Memo 92148 (Anonymous Coward/Slashdot) Can you make condoms with it?

    Hmm, intriguing idea. Almost certainly, but out of which polymer? A rigid "Titan" condom could certainly cover more than one situation (and the idea had considerable appeal when we ran it over the flagpole among our senior execs to see who saluted it and who turned away blushing) but the boys here in R&D said there might be trouble fitting it into a wallet. However, the marketing boys said that we wouldn't even have to change the name -- Titan Condoms (made by IBM!) would sell like hot cakes even if one did have to keep them standing on a shelf or nightstand next to the bed. Besides, if they don't sell to the general population, a bit of retooling and they'll make gangbusters self-propelled grenade casings (especially in the larger sizes) -- although legal says that calling them "Titan missiles" might infringe some trademark or other.

    R&D was, however, quite excited at the prospect of a brush-on "Hydro" condom -- one would never need to take it off. We had a number of volunteers for a pilot project, and it turns out that in fact, one might never be able to take it off. Apparently "Hydro" is also being considered as a nearly indestructible super glue because of all of its dangling, um, "bonds" but this was being investigated by another team. There were, unfortunately, a few drawbacks pointed out by those party-poopers over in legal and their paid shills from the medical profession, so the idea was tabled for the time being, which basically means that we're still going ahead with the project but looking for just the right test population -- males on dialysis or willing to undergo a critical surgical alteration of the liquid waste elimination pathway, for example. However, we're a lot more interested in large federal or state contracts; this is (for example) an intriguing idea for our prison systems, if we can get it past Engineering.

    Keep up the good work, AC, and we are gratified that you are making this valuable suggestion anonymously, as it saves us from the tedious process of running you down and making you sign release forms or having you assassinated so that we can cleanly patent the idea as our own. Now you'll have to excuse me -- I have to go empty my cloaca.

    Irving Bentabit
    IBM (R&D)

"There is no statute of limitations on stupidity." -- Randomly produced by a computer program called Markov3.

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