Gunshot Victims To Be Part of "Suspended Animation" Trials 357
New submitter Budgreen writes: "Knife-wound or gunshot victims will be cooled down and placed in suspended animation later this month. The technique involves replacing all of a patient's blood with a cold saline solution, which rapidly cools the body and stops almost all cellular activity. 'If a patient comes to us two hours after dying you can't bring them back to life. But if they're dying and you suspend them, you have a chance to bring them back after their structural problems have been fixed,' says surgeon Peter Rheeat from the University of Arizona in Tucson, who helped develop the technique. 10 gunshot and stabbing victims will take part in the trials."
"Victims" (Score:5, Funny)
"10 gunshot and stabbing victims will take part in the trials"
Jesus, I can already picture a scientist charging around a shopping mall with a revolver and a switch-blade yelling "For science!"
Re:"Victims" (Score:5, Funny)
Mohammed K. (2001). On The Effects Of Passenger Aircraft On Steel Frame Buildings. Proceedings on International Terrorism: 223-225. New York.
Re:Space travel (Score:5, Funny)
The first thing you see when the lid of your cryo-chamber whirrs open will be another human saying, "Hey, we made a warp drive engine while you were asleep!"
Re:Old idea. What makes it possible now? (Score:2, Funny)
It claims it can be done 2 hours after they've died, at that point I think I could replace the corpses blood with marinara sauce without worrying about the health effects.
Re:UPMC Presbyterian Hospital in Pittsburgh (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Space travel (Score:5, Funny)
"And oh, that planet that you were headed for to colonize? Yeah, we terraformed it already, but thanks for the effort."
Re:Space travel (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Space travel (Score:5, Funny)
Why would I bring along nine other men???
Re:Space travel (Score:5, Funny)
And by the way, since we hacked the algorithmic and neurological underpinnings of intelligence, way back when, we've been so much smarter than you people that it's just not funny.
But...
We think you're *so* adorably kawaii!
Who's a good boy! Whooo's a gooood boy!
Mummy loves her little guy, yes she does!
Re:Space travel (Score:5, Funny)
Why would I bring along nine other men???
To preserve your sanity.
Re:Space travel (Score:5, Funny)
What's a VCR?
...and why doesn't it support NTP?
Re:Space travel (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Space travel (Score:5, Funny)