Mystery Intergalactic Radio Bursts Detected

astroengine writes "Astronomers were on a celestial fishing expedition for pulsing neutron stars and other radio bursts when they found something unexpected in archived sky sweeps conducted by the Parkes radio telescope in New South Wales, Australia. The powerful signal, which lasted for just milliseconds, could have been a fluke, but then the team found three more equally energetic transient flashes all far removed from the galactic plane and coming from different points in the sky. Astronomers are at a loss to explain what these flashes are — they could be a common astrophysical phenomenon that has only just been detected as our radio antennae have become sensitive enough, or they could be very rare and totally new phenomenon that, so far, defies explanation."

First post

[PPH]

And perhaps the last when the alien invasion force, of which we observed the launch, reaches earth.

War!

[JWSmythe]

    The intergalactic war is getting closer. We can hear the explosions now. It's only a matter of time before they get here. It's a good thing our space program has done so well, and we've started colonizing other planets, otherwise our species would be lost forever.

    Oh .. fuck .. We don't have a space program, only a high altitude orbital flight program. Well, it's been nice knowing you all.

Re:First post

[auric_dude]

"Good morning. Good morning. In less than an hour, aircraft from here will join others from around the world, and you will be launching the largest aerial battle in the history of mankind. Mankind, that word should have new meaning for all of us today. We can't be consumed by our petty differences any more. We will be united in our common interest. Perhaps it's fate that today is the 4th of July, and you will once again be fighting for our freedom. Not from tyranny, oppression, or persecution, but from annihilation. We're fighting for our right to live, to existand should we win the day, the 4th of July will no longer be known as an American holiday, but as the day when the world declared in one voice, 'We will not go quietly into the night! We will not vanish without a fight! We're going to live on, we're going to survive.' Today we celebrate our independence day!" President Thomas Whitmore July 4th, 1996

Required

[CohibaVancouver]

"I for one welcome our new..."

Ah, nevermind.

Re:First post

[PPH]

"Oh, and you aliens. Your browsers have a back door for which we discovered a zero day exploit. You should have given the adoption of IE some careful thought."

Re:First post

[turgid]

Yes, those pinko-commie left-wing nutjob foreigner-appeasing presidents are alien magnets! And they're in league with the 12-foot shape-shifting blood-drinking lizards who are from Zeta Reticuli and controlled by Phil the Greek from the panel behind Liz's throne.

Get your speakers out, everyone...

[sidthegeek]

It's time to start playing Indian Love Call.

It's the Doctor's fault

[ArcadeMan]

It's the TARDIS causing cracks in the space-time continuum.

Re:War!

[Black Parrot]

why would they bother with Earth ? Deep gravity well, close to the sun and plagued with solar flares, full of microbes ...

'Cause free-range brains taste better.

Re:What?

[Black Parrot]

That's a third of a million years worth of the energy output from the entire sun in milliseconds and no corresponding light flash or other radiation?

It will take the thunder a lot longer to get here.

Re:What?

[Anonymous Coward]

It was a million voices crying out then suddenly silenced.

Remember, this flash came from a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away.

Re:War!

[Em Adespoton]

Clearly, Pluto.

Oh, is it a planet again this week?

And todays random unit of measurement is....

[Thiarna]

Mosquitoes.

They have come such a long way that by the time they reach the Earth, the Parkes telescope would have to operate for 1 million years to collect enough to have the equivalent energy of a flying mosquito

Re:War!

[swalve]

Man, we think we have trouble getting the right answers out of the internet. Imagine some poor space geek trying to get calculations out of Mainframe Earth, and all he keeps getting is porn, fart jokes and funny hats that start wars.

Re:War!

[Greyfox]

Robots aren't quite as delicious.