Higgs Data Could Spell Trouble For Leading Big Bang Theory 259
ananyo writes "Paul Steinhardt, an astrophysicist at Princeton University in New Jersey, and colleagues have posted a controversial paper on ArXiv arguing, based on the latest Higgs data and the cosmic microwave background map from the Planck mission, that the leading theory explaining the first moments of the Big Bang ('inflation') is fatally flawed. In short, Steinhardt says that the models that best fit the Planck data — known as 'plateau models' because their potential-energy profiles level off at relatively low energies — are far less likely to occur naturally than the models that Planck ruled out. Secondly, he says, the news for these plateau models gets dramatically worse when the results are analyzed in conjunction with the latest results about the Higgs field coming from CERN's Large Hadron Collider. Particle physicists working at the LHC have calculated that the Higgs field is likely to have started out in a high-energy, 'metastable' state rather than in a stable, low-energy configuration. Steinhardt likens the odds of the Higgs field initially being perched in the precarious metastable state as to those of dropping out of the sky over the Matterhorn and conveniently landing in a 'dimple near the top,' rather than crashing down to the mountain's base."
"A high-energy, 'metastable' state"? (Score:5, Funny)
I knew it! (Score:5, Funny)
It wasn't a Big Bang, but a Medium Bang!
gotta get out my papers, nobel prize for fizziks here I come!
Re:"A high-energy, 'metastable' state"? (Score:5, Funny)
Re:"A high-energy, 'metastable' state"? (Score:5, Funny)
Maybe the uni/multiverse had a "reboot" from a prior state?
Well, that WOULD explain why this universe seems bleak, dark, and depressing. The original universe was probably campier and silly but more beloved by fans before some pretentious jackhole looked too hard at all those physical properties and atomic interactions and decided it needed to be rebooted with black holes, hard vacuums, and the second law of thermodynamics.
There's probably countless imitation universes out there, too, each one darker and more depressing than the last one in an effort to market them better to the universe-enjoying pan-dimensional youth out there. That continued until the 90s, when the absurdity of it all came crashing in on itself and nearly destroyed the universe-creating industry, and...
Hang on, what was I talking about?
Please don't cancel the show (Score:1, Funny)
Re:"A high-energy, 'metastable' state"? (Score:2, Funny)
I tell you another thing about the version before the reboot, there sure as hell wasn't so many goddamn lens flares in that universe.
Re:I knew it! (Score:5, Funny)
It wasn't a Big Bang, but a Medium Bang!
That's what she said!
Re: "A high-energy, 'metastable' state"? (Score:5, Funny)
New data requires reevaluation of current theory? Damn you scientific method! Damn you to hell!
Re:So, in other words.... (Score:5, Funny)
It's turtles all the way down.
Re:Pink unicorns. (Score:4, Funny)
We (I am an atheist) cannot prove the non-existance of God.
This is a dead horse that's been beaten to death so many times we've hardly got a carcass. Yes, actually, you can.
Let's take the Flying Spaghetti Monster. He's made of spaghetti and two meatballs. We know that these two components neither have sentience or the ability to fly ...
You don't have kids yet do you? When you do, you will learn that spaghetti and meatballs can indeed fly. :-)