Astronomers Probe Mysterious Gas In Titan's Atmosphere 104
sciencehabit writes "A fluorescent glow high in the atmosphere of Titan, Saturn's largest moon, signifies the presence of a gas that astronomers have yet to identify. The glow appears only on the daytime side of the moon at altitudes between 600 and 1250 kilometers, with the largest intensity occurring at an altitude of about 950 km. Detailed analyses reveal that the glow doesn't stem from a problem with the Saturn-orbiting Cassini craft, and it isn't associated with methane or any of the other hydrocarbons already identified as constituents of Titan's atmosphere."
Could be serioius (Score:5, Funny)
So we have a planetoid enveloped in a vaporous cloud of mysterious matter, which is unknown to science.
Well, I've seen enough old Star Trek episodes to know that it's almost certainly a malevolent disembodied life form, which was left imprisoned on that desolate moon eons ago to keep it from threatening other civilizations throughout the galaxy.
Unfortunately, the Huygens probe has probably now provided it with the tools it needs to transport itself off the moon, most likely in a bid to attack and take over our planet Earth. Since it's probably invulnerable to any technology we posess, our only hope is to cleverly lure it into some kind of trap where it will destroy itself, most likely in a large explosion.
Re:Is it sentient? (Score:4, Funny)
you are wrong, there are plenty of silicon-polymer (silicone) based giant nippled life forms; they always attach to their hosts in pairs
Obligatory (Score:5, Funny)
Pumbaa: Hey, Timon, ever wonder what those sparkly dots are up there?
Timon: Pumbaa, I don't wonder; I know.
Pumbaa: Oh. What are they?
Timon: They're fireflies. Fireflies that, uh... got stuck up on that big bluish-black thing.
Pumbaa: Oh, gee. I always thought they were balls of gas burning billions of miles away.
Timon: Pumbaa, with you, everything's gas.
Re:Has anyone considered... (Score:4, Funny)
Look I think that's a great theory except for one tiny problem, Titan is in orbit around Saturn.....
Re:Its a very convenient gas (Score:3, Funny)
It sounds like a ploy to keep the funds flowing for Cassini.
+5 insightful for this obvious troll post?
Slashdot: +5 Disgraceful
Our conspiracy theories are becoming as unsophisticated as our fart jokes. Back in the day, people made up interesting CTs, but nowadays it's always "they want more funding".
Let's here some *good* conspiracy theories for this, then maybe we can have a poll to see which one is best.
Re:Good job (Score:2, Funny)
... what did Plait ever do to you AC?
Phucking Phil Phucktard is an [blah blah blah] ... But funny you went fishing for "an irrational grudge against any scientist." [blah blah blah] Phucking Phil Plait can't. [blah blah blah] Phucking Phil Phucktard [blah blah blah] Phucking Phil's [blah] Phucking Phil's [spew] Phucking Phil Phucktard [vomit] phucking phucktard's ass.
Phil fucked his mom.