Dean Kamen Invents Stomach Pump For Dieters 483
You may soon have another option to lose weight other than dieting and exercise thanks to Dean Kamen. The inventor has designed a pump that can suck the cheeseburgers out of your stomach and replace it with water. From the article: "The pump was invented by Dean Kamen, the same man who brought you the Segway, and perhaps more fittingly, a breakthrough dialysis machine. This pump works by routing a tube directly into the user's stomach and then sucking out some of the gooey, masticated goodness. The user then squeezes a little plastic bag to replace that volume of stomach-stew with water. Sounds great, right? There are some catches though. It hasn't been approved by the FDA yet, and some of the users in the tests had problems with certain foods like 'cauliflower, broccoli, Chinese food, stir fry, snow peas, pretzels, chips, and steak.' Oh, also there's a tube going into your stomach that you use to pump unpuked vomit into the toilet. Participants in trial studies did manage to lose about half of their excess weight this way, around 45 pounds on average, so apparently it works."
Name: (Score:4, Funny)
BULI - O-MATIC
revolutionary! (Score:5, Funny)
This is going to revolutionize nutrition and eating, just like the Ginger/Segway has revolutionized transportation in our cities.
Soylent orange... (Score:4, Funny)
... It's made of what eventually would have been people!
Re:Isn't this just bulimia? (Score:5, Funny)
Yes, it is. At least, it's bulimia. I don't see anything respectable at all about surgically altering yourself so you can gorge and still lose weight, and I guess time will tell if it's marketable (although I doubt it'll be even as successful as lap band surgery), but yeah, it's definitely mechanical barfing.
Depends on the size of the target market. How many people are there in the US who love eating but don't want to be fat? Probably not many I guess.
Re:Isn't this just bulimia? (Score:5, Funny)
I don't know about you, but I deal with disposal of some pretty nasty material from my body at least once a day already...
Re:Hard To Prepare Foods = The Win (Score:5, Funny)
i love that guy, he's all about good tastes and how just fucking learning to cook can give your mouth a better time than jamming it full of lard
That's not comforting coming from someone with the username "kiddygrinder." In fact, please never comment on culinary matters again.
Re:Isn't this just bulimia? (Score:2, Funny)
Depends on the size of the target market
Did you just make a fat joke?
Re:Isn't this just bulimia? (Score:5, Funny)
the problem is it takes will power out of the equation
That's OK, most people are bad at math.
Re:revolutionary! (Score:5, Funny)
How very shallow. How old are you? 16?
Coming from the guy whose username is 'Frosty Piss', priceless!
Re:Isn't this just bulimia? (Score:5, Funny)
You really should have that head wound looked at by a doctor...
Re:The Roman Way (Score:4, Funny)
He said Roman, not Greek.
Re:Isn't this just bulimia? (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Isn't this just bulimia? (Score:4, Funny)
Personally, I suffer from eating too much food and not wanting to move very much.
But... (Score:4, Funny)
Re:Isn't this just bulimia? (Score:4, Funny)
"Unpuked vomit"?
Dude, gross!
Your blurb totally made me lose my appetite... for my 7th bowl of corn flakes.