North Korea's Satellite Is Out of Control 450
Koreantoast writes "After failing on numerous occasions, North Korea has finally put a satellite in orbit. But according to US officials, it is now 'tumbling out of control.' This is bad news, and more bad news, covered in a double layer of extra bad news. From the article: 'According to US officials, it appears that North Korea's new satellite has failed to achieve a stable orbit and is now "tumbling out of control." The greatest danger is the threat of it colliding with another satellite, adding to the growing debris field around the earth.' A separate Gizmodo article provides links for tracking the current location of the satellite."
send the mini-shuttle over there to wack it (Score:5, Funny)
Dear Leader's Satellite is So Advanced... (Score:5, Funny)
...it can cover multiple orbital trajectories while imperialist pig Yankee capitalist satellites are only capable of a single orbit.
Re:So what does the world do about it? (Score:4, Funny)
I could see several scenarios in which this leads to war with North Korea
Tom Clancy... is that you?
Re:Dear Leader's Satellite is So Advanced... (Score:2, Funny)
...it can cover multiple orbital trajectories while imperialist pig Yankee capitalist satellites are only capable of a single orbit.
Our spy satellites can cover multiple orbital trajectories too, and without exploding a few weeks after launch or burning up in the atmosphere. Oh, and you might want to get that mole on your back looked at; Our intelligence analysts think it might be cancerous. Or not. We're just saying, after spending so much money on surveillance watching your every move, it'd be a shame to waste the investment. By the way, kudos on your launch. No really, we mean that -- we're really impressed you can do that when most of your country doesn't even have electricity or basic cable for your citizens to watch.
Sincerely,
Your Imperialist Pig Yankee Capitalist friends.
Re:Start betting on where it'll land? (Score:5, Funny)
is the taco bell target still in the pacific? Mir didn't hit it but I still want that free burrito!
Re:Start betting on where it'll land? (Score:5, Funny)
I hope it lands back in North Korea so its citizens can get some return on their investment.
Re:send the mini-shuttle over there to wack it (Score:5, Funny)
best post (Score:5, Funny)
from the article after someone makes a prediction of it crashing somewhere.
One of the follow-ups: " I predict it will crash into a Mayan temple in 9 days "
You guys have a tough bar to reach in comments this time :)
My apologies (Score:5, Funny)
Pity, Japan's having pitching a fit over NK's poor angle of attack, but y'all just need to get over it - NK clearly has no inclination to just roll over and take it!
Re:X-37B timing? (Score:4, Funny)
pff.. why when they can just send up the X302 to blow it out of the sky?
Re:Worst part (Score:4, Funny)
Oh noes.. the UN might write us a letter telling us how angry they are..
Re:hmmm... (Score:5, Funny)
Thus far, the score is 1 to 0
Secret US Space Drone: 1 and Flying Korean Unicorn: 0.
Re:So what does the world do about it? (Score:5, Funny)
And, of course, you sound so confident you can win (protip: You didn't win last time).
We didn't have Chuck Norris last time.
Re:send the mini-shuttle over there to wack it (Score:5, Funny)
Its unclear if the new min-shuttle has offensive capabilities.
Of course it has offensive capabilities. The only country known to not arm its spacegoing vessels is Finland.
North Korean news spin about the spin (Score:5, Funny)
Re:send the mini-shuttle over there to wack it (Score:5, Funny)
the space shuttle orbiter was armed in the sense that it had an arm.
Re:It may not be stupidity (Score:5, Funny)
do you have any idea how f'ing busy I am, Hans Brix??
Re:send the mini-shuttle over there to wack it (Score:3, Funny)
Then we can take it to our secret volcano fortress where everyone wears jumpsuits. We just need to ninja and British agent proof it.
By Canada (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Dear Leader's Satellite is So Advanced... (Score:4, Funny)
Re:send the mini-shuttle over there to wack it (Score:4, Funny)
I'm not sure any one has achieved survival of a nuke when using it... /pedantic misreading
Re:By Canada (Score:2, Funny)
Not only that but this is probably the only instance where Canada was better armed than the US.
And just like in nearly every other area, Canada's efforts would have been utterly useless had America not done the heavy lifting. Great, thanks for Canadarm. There's no way we could have possibly manufactured such a modern marvel as that here in the US. We're just clueless pikers and you geniuses north of us are obviously our superiors in every way. Thank god for Canada, or we'd all be lost. It's called throwing you a bone, the least you could do is show gratitude instead of acting like you lot actually did something, because you didn't.
Do we have to be reminded nearly every time the shuttle is discussed that Canada built the arm? Is there some sort of CanCon regulation that when a Canadian sees the Space Shuttle mentioned they are obligated to bring up the arm, the same way that Canadian radio stations are forced to play Rush or Neil Young once an hour?
Familiarity breeds contempt.
Re:By Canada (Score:4, Funny)
For failing to comprehend the True Cosmological Glory that is Canada, you are hereby sentenced to be (appropriately enough) torn limb from limb by the newest Canadian space-robot, Dextre the Magnificent [nasa.gov].
Re:send the mini-shuttle over there to wack it (Score:4, Funny)
small rocket + net + parachute. Navy waiting underneath.
Why, so we can steal North Korea's advanced satellite technology?