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Ask Slashdot: Geekiest Way To Cook a Turkey? 447

Posted by samzenpus
from the robot-chef dept.
First time accepted submitter almostadnsguy writes "There seem to be a lot of ways to cook a turkey the geekiest ones are probably out of the realm of possibility for normal geeks. However, Within the limits of normal society (or outside if you wish) what is the geekiest way to do it? Do you use a special brine, cook it in an inventive way, or raise genetically modified turkeys with extra legs?"
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Ask Slashdot: Geekiest Way To Cook a Turkey?

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  • Sagan Nailed it (Score:5, Insightful)

    by skyggen (888902) on Wednesday November 21, 2012 @07:52PM (#42062103)
    The geekest turkey recipe first starts with creating the Universe.
  • Let Mom do it... (Score:5, Insightful)

    by H0p313ss (811249) on Wednesday November 21, 2012 @07:55PM (#42062141)

    Really? What self respecting geek doesn't go home to be pampered by Mom?

  • Re:why (Score:5, Insightful)

    by Anrego (830717) * on Wednesday November 21, 2012 @07:56PM (#42062147)

    Some people feel the need to extend their geek persona into everything (including family stuff).

    Personally I'm not so inclined. Christmas (I'm Canadian so that's our next turkey day) and (our) thanksgiving are occasions when I like to put down the tech and spend the day hanging out at my mothers place with family. But I guess if someone wants to make an arduino controlled stuffing management system or something, to each their own!

  • by Anonymous Coward on Wednesday November 21, 2012 @07:59PM (#42062179)

    Have you seen a commercial turkey farm? They shovel the dead out daily - it's like something from the Matrix. Do you really want to eat that?

    FUCK YEA! Turkey is so yummy.

  • by Anonymous Coward on Wednesday November 21, 2012 @08:04PM (#42062241)

    I don't get it.

    Are you cooking the turkey to eat it? Because if you are, there's only a handful of time tested methods to do so (in the oven, on the BBQ, sometimes deep-fried in a giant vat of cooking oil or grease). I've watched a lot of cooking shows on TV and I'm by no means an "expert" on this stuff, but every time I see someone working with turkey the formula is always the same- apply heat until cooked, add something else, then consume.

    So I'm really not sure what "within the limits of normal society (or outside if you wish)" means. Are you looking for an answer like "I hoist my turkeys 200ft into the air, then shoot at them with improvised rifles fashioned from recycled microwave magnetrons and a focusing coil/antenna I built in my garage"? Or are you looking for an advanced culinary technique that few people use, but can otherwise yield amazing results? That "or outside if you wish" really gets me, because I'm sure there's a civilization somewhere out there in space who cooks their turkeys by loading them into a trebuchet, setting them on fire, then launching them into a volcano where a lone volunteer must venture to retrieve the cooked bird after a set amount of time as some sort of ritual/right of passage. That's outside normal society, right?

    I'm trying really hard not to say "just fucking google it", but that's the best advice I can offer. Just. Fucking. Google. It. I'm not even sure why you think most Slashdot folks would know how to cook a turkey- unless you want them to venture out of the basement and go ask their moms.

  • Chemistry (Score:2, Insightful)

    by Anonymous Coward on Wednesday November 21, 2012 @08:10PM (#42062297)

    Cooking involves complex chemistry and physics. Learning to cook consistently good food is a very difficult, geeky achievement.

  • Re:why (Score:2, Insightful)

    by GNUALMAFUERTE (697061) <almafuerte@@@gmail...com> on Wednesday November 21, 2012 @08:25PM (#42062405)

    The right way for geeks to celebrate christmas or thanksgiving day is to not celebrate them at all. Geeks are supposed to be smart enough to not believe in imaginary friends in the sky and to not celebrate the biggest genocide in history eating turkey.

  • Re:why (Score:4, Insightful)

    by shaitand (626655) on Wednesday November 21, 2012 @08:44PM (#42062587) Journal

    The science of cooking would be chemistry and food chemistry is every bit as geeky as electronics hacking these days.

  • Harvest festival. (Score:5, Insightful)

    by Oxford_Comma_Lover (1679530) on Wednesday November 21, 2012 @08:48PM (#42062623)

    It's a harvest festival. The genocide was incidental.

  • by shaitand (626655) on Wednesday November 21, 2012 @09:01PM (#42062745) Journal

    "Or are you looking for an advanced culinary technique that few people use"

    I'd guess this. Food geekery is a valid form of geekery in itself. But you are right, it's a damn turkey.

    I guess if I were really going to geek out I'd have to start with a brine Alton Brown style. Then I'd have to Sous Vide the turkey. Most people think you need a machine to do this but you can use a large pot and a candy thermometer to Sous Vide. Sous Vide is just a water bath and will get the entire turkey, dark and white, thin and thick, to exactly the correct and uniform temperature. For those not familiar you actually vac seal the food in Sous Vide so there is no exchange between the food and water, just heat.

    Shortly before serving I'd heat peanut oil and cook three pounds of bacon pieces. Then I'd put the still hot turkey into the hot oil for a short time, not to cook it further but merely to brown and crisp up the skin.

  • by jd2112 (1535857) on Wednesday November 21, 2012 @10:43PM (#42063411)

    You're absolutely right. That's why many choose to do the humane thing and hunt them instead.

    Only problem is the intelligence of the average turkey is greater than the intelligence of many of the hunters.

  • Re:why (Score:5, Insightful)

    by black6host (469985) on Wednesday November 21, 2012 @10:56PM (#42063495)

    I don't think you quite understand. They're not religious holidays. They are recognition of the passing of the seasons and the cycle of life. And yes, there may have been multiple deities involved so I suppose you could consider religious in some fashion. But not in the modern sense of Christianity. These holidays were already being celebrated before Christianity and those trying to show folks "the way" incorporated these celebrations to do so as the local population weren't going to give them up. Best to co-op them and basically Christians said: "this holiday means this" where "this" conveniently tied into the whole that was being preached.

    Don't mean to offend anyone, Christians or not, but let's recognize that these holidays have been around for a long long time. Longer than Christianity. (Note, not talking about Thanksgiving, as that is not a "religious" holiday although the celebration of a good years harvest goes back many, many years.) This was directed at the comments concerning Christmas and Easter.

"Bureaucracy is the enemy of innovation." -- Mark Shepherd, former President and CEO of Texas Instruments

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