CERN Announcing New LHC Results July 4th 226
An anonymous reader writes "The Higgs boson is regarded as the key to understanding the universe. Physicists say its job is to give the particles that make up atoms their mass. Without this mass, these particles would zip though the cosmos at the speed of light, unable to bind together to form the atoms that make up everything in the universe, from planets to people. From the article: 'Five leading theoretical physicists have been invited to the event on Wednesday - sparking speculation that the particle has been discovered. Scientists at the Large Hadron Collider are expected to say they are 99.99 per cent certain it has been found - which is known as 'four sigma' level. Peter Higgs, the Edinburgh University emeritus professor of physics that the particle is named after, is among those who have been called to the press conference in Switzerland."
This would have been first post. (Score:4, Funny)
...but it doesn't carry any weight anymore.
Heavy! (Score:5, Funny)
Dr. Emmett Brown: There's that word again. "Heavy." Why are things so heavy in the future? Is there a problem with the Earth's gravitational pull?
The real question is... (Score:5, Funny)
Does it have round corners?
Risky experiment (Score:5, Funny)
If we prove that the God Particle exists, will it vanish in a puff of logic?
Re:It isn't a sub atomic particle party until... (Score:2, Funny)
Who is this Higgs... (Score:5, Funny)
...and why is everyone trying to get a peek at her bosom? :)
Re:It isn't a sub atomic particle party until... (Score:3, Funny)
If Mr. Freeman's invited better have some crowbars and other weapons ready in case alien creatures and head crabs jump out of the machinery! :)
Let's get this one out of the way (Score:5, Funny)
It's lame news anyway. (Score:4, Funny)
I was expecting an exciting ending to the search, but it just ended up being a big deus ex machina.
Interesting Date Choice (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Who is this Higgs... (Score:5, Funny)
...and why is everyone trying to get a peek at her bosom? :)
Wrong end. You're thinking of mesons, specifically one made out of two "top" quarks. They follow the anti-heisenberg uncertainty principle where the better you can see their position, perhaps because they're unconfined, then the better you can see the effects on them of momentum and vibration/oscillation. I like high energy/high mass mesons like that, but Higgs is not a meson so it's all rather irrelevant.
Higgs particle, speaking to husband: "Honey, does this Large Hadron Collider make my butt look fat?" They would have been more likely to get a peek if they told her it was the "Petite Hadron Collider", or if they told her there was a shoe sale there.
Re:Let's get this one out of the way (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Let's get this one out of the way (Score:5, Funny)
Yo mamma so stupid, she forgot to calculate the rate of Beta events with a standard dilepton invariant mass at a subleading order in the hybrid expansion when she was reducing the perturbative uncertainty in the determination of Vub from semileptonic Beta decays.
Re:It isn't a sub atomic particle party until... (Score:1, Funny)
....Gordon Freeman's invited.
Seriously though, they'll find another one won't they, so can I theorise that the Higgs Boson is made up of, say Anonymous Coward Bosons? I've always wanted to be famous...
No, No. ACs are made of bogons [retrologic.com].
Re:Interesting Date Choice (Score:2, Funny)
Re:"one in a a trillion" event (Score:5, Funny)
... and have fallen to the center of the Earth where they don't hurt anything.
Fallen? And what do you thing happens when they get there with some velocity?
Such black holes almost certainly exist, not only in the Earth but in all other large bodies as well. But they aren't "fallen" in the center, but rather orbiting the body inside of it, possibly eating a few atoms on each orbit. In any case I wouldn't call that "harmless" but rather "mostly harmless". I wouldn't mind one passing through my fingernails, but I might be upset if it ate away at a bit of my brain.
Maybe this explains memory loss... Scientists!
Re:Let's get this one out of the way (Score:5, Funny)
Yo mamma so stupid, she ... uhh scored ... umm very low on an ... uhh IQ test.
Re:Beyond the Higgs Boson? (Score:5, Funny)
nothing else. This is the last thing we need to discover then we're done and can get on with life.