The Science of Santa 223
Hugh Pickens writes writes "For decades, mystified scientists have chalked up Santa's power to the inexplicable wonder of magic, but North Carolina State University aerospace engineer Larry Silverberg, team leader on a first-of-its-kind visiting scholars program at Santa's Workshop-North Pole Labs (NPL), says that Santa is, in fact, a scientific genius and that Silverberg looks forward to Christmas each year, so he can ponder the remarkable accomplishments of one of the greatest pioneers in his field. 'Santa is not just a jolly old elf,' says Silverberg. 'He really has an understanding of engineering, technology, science that's far beyond our own.' It all starts at the North Pole where Santa has an elaborate technical setup that rivals the nerve center of the CIA including an underground antenna that listens to children's thoughts. 'He takes those signals and finds out whether the child has been naughty or nice, and ultimately, what present the child wants.' Santa's mastery of nanotechnology allows Santa to grow presents on the spot eschewing the necessity of carrying them on the sleigh which would be prohibitive because of the weight. Then there's Santa's sleigh itself, an advanced aerodynamic structure equipped with laser sensors to find the optimal path, and covered by a nanostructured 'skin' that is porous and contains its own low-pressure system, which holds the air flowing around the airborne sled onto the body, reducing drag by as much as 90 percent. Finally there's Santa's greatest invention, the relativity cloud, that bends time and space to allow for his round-the-world Christmas journey and explains why Santa is so seldom seen. 'Relativity clouds are controllable domains – rips in time – that allow him months to deliver presents while only a few minutes pass on Earth. The presents are truly delivered in a wink of an eye.'"
Meh ... (Score:4, Informative)
Kinda late. The Finns already made a documentary on that topic: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rare_Exports [wikipedia.org]
Re:Santa of course is not an effin elf. (Score:4, Informative)
Oops, I'm stupid. Sinterklaas is a person, St. Nick to be precise. But part of Santa Claus comes from a Nordic legend about a gift-giving elf.
Re:Obligatory (Score:4, Informative)
It can all be explained because The Dioctor helped him out!
This isn't original... Picked it up somewhere...
The Doctor had some left over TARDIS parts and built St. Nick a sleigh from them! Only it's time locked to Christmas Eve... So Santa behaves. That allows Santa to deliver presents all year round. Because the Sleigh is "bigger on the inside" there is plenty of room for gifts. (sadly, Santa didn't get a library or pool) that also accounts for the flying reindeer... But the might be a special breed from the future?
The real mystery... (Score:4, Informative)
... is why the WTO hasn't gone after Santa for violating import/export & tariff laws, and why the AFL-CIO & the Teamsters haven't shut him down or made him disappear.
BTW, the house I grew-up in didn't have a fireplace, therefore we also didn't have a chimney. When I was a kid, I believed Santa came down our sewer system vent pipes.