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Science Technology

Earliest Human Beds Found In South Africa 102

Posted by samzenpus
from the earliest-to-bed dept.
sciencehabit writes "A team working in South Africa claims to have found the earliest known sleeping mats, made of plant material and dated up to 77,000 years ago—50,000 years earlier than previous evidence for human bedding. These early mattresses apparently were even specially prepared to be resistant to mosquitoes and other insects."
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Earliest Human Beds Found In South Africa

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  • by Pastor Jake (2510522) on Thursday December 08, 2011 @08:36PM (#38310292)

    My friends in the Word,

    These atheist-backed scientists have surely fabricated these so-called "sleeping mats," as it is clearly outlined in the Bible that God created Adam and Eve 5,000 years ago. Note that I am not questioning the existence of these mats, as these could have possibly BEEN used by Adam or one of his descendants after being thrown out of Eden, I am questioning the "evidence" of their age from the so-called "carbon-dating" process. I wish these scientists well with their work and pray that they will break free from the yoke of grants from godless individuals and governments.

    Your friend,
    Jake

    • Re: (Score:2, Insightful)

      by Anonymous Coward
      I have to say Pastor Jake I don't see too many people get so many -1 and +5 posts.
    • Re: (Score:3, Funny)

      by cosm (1072588)

      My scientific friends in the World,

      These religious-backed lunatics have surely fabricated these so-called "biblical stories," as it is clearly outlined in the Body of Science evolution created Adam and Eve 5,000 years ago (kidding lolololol, no really more like ~100K+ yrs). Note that I am not questioning the existence of these biblical stories, as these could have possibly BEEN used by the ruling class or one of their descendants after not convincing people to do shit they wanted them to do, I am questioning the "evidence" of their validity from the so-called if you repeat it enough it must be true process. I wish these religious types well with their work and hypothesize that they will break free from the yoke of ignorance of the scientific method and peer validated results verified by individuals and governments.

      Your friend, Science

      FTFT

      • The religious will always be with us. -- Herman the Hermit. Douglas Adams wrote about the Orange Catholic Bible that filled 50 intergalactic trucks. My only concern with that is that he probably underestimated it severely.
        • Douglas Adams wrote about the Orange Catholic Bible that filled 50 intergalactic trucks.

          That was Frank Herbert, not Douglas Adams. The 50 intergalactic trucks were for the encyclopedia galactica (which Adams did write about).

      • by operagost (62405)
        Don't feed the trolls.
    • by geekoid (135745)

      Maybe you should understand the dating process ?

      NO, no, then you would just have to find some other way to delude yourself.

      Genesis is an alagory.

      • by mcgrew (92797) *

        Dude, he's trolling. He doesn't believe a word of what he says. Please, guys, stop feeding the trolls! I come her to read interesting comments, not anti-religion trolls in a thread that religion has no place in that some dim witted moderators think is funny. "Pastor" Jake Golf's comment should be sitting at -1 troll/flamebait rather than +4 funny. It's about as funny as that movie Dumb And Dumber -- not at all. It's just stupid. Bury the fucker.

    • Adam & Eve did that nasty on it while the snaked watched.
    • by Frnknstn (663642)

      You were funnier when you where doing Dr Bob the chiropractor.

    • by tibit (1762298)

      Mods fail at sarcasm. News at 11.

    • by Dunbal (464142) *
      Almost as good as Dr. Bob... 3/10
    • Dear Jake,

      you lack common sense.

      I am questioning the "evidence" of their age from the so-called "carbon-dating" process.

      God created the world and the universe and also the laws to which this universe works. So obviously he has created the carbon isotopes and the way how they decay.
      Also keep in mind for one who can craft whole universes it must be easy to deposite some sleeping mats that "look as if" they are 77,000 years old.

      So, the scientists are correct. Their methods are correct. The only question is: w

    • by mcgrew (92797) *

      Excuse me, sir, but are you the famous Reverend Golf I've heard so much about?

    • They found the world's oldest porn hidden under those world's oldest beds.

    • by howzit (1667699)
      It seems that you don't know your bible. Could you please inform us as to where it says that the Earth is 5'000 years old?
  • Malm? (Score:4, Funny)

    by RackinFrackin (152232) on Thursday December 08, 2011 @08:51PM (#38310414)

    Did it come from IKEA?

    • No, because it was assembled and recognizable as a bed. If it came from IKEA, it would have been just a pile of parts next to a mammoth bone hex key wrench and a in-decipherable pictogram instruction set, written on mammoth skin. There would either be too many or too few mammoth bone screws. The pictogram would bear no resemblance to the pictogram in the mammoth skin IKEA catalog.

      FTFA:

      "The rock shelter would have been abandoned when food supplies became low, or when the site became unpleasant to live in because it smelled bad, had lots of decaying organic material, or was overrun with pests such as insects or rodents."

      Those conditions never stopped me from moving out of my bachelor pad. Obviously, early human chicks possessed the capa

  • by Anonymous Coward on Thursday December 08, 2011 @09:12PM (#38310562)

    It's a nasty habit that I've been trying to quit for 77,000 years.

  • Whaaaaa?? (Score:5, Funny)

    by EdIII (1114411) on Thursday December 08, 2011 @09:15PM (#38310596)

    For people wondering how a mattress could possibly be mosquito resistant it was because it was made out of a specific plant that was a natural insecticide.

    Which begs the question, was that lost technology? I don't see Africans using it for the past couple thousand years or anyone else.

    My favorite from the article:

    "There were no rules for separate eating, working, or sleeping places," she says. "Breakfast in bed may have been an almost daily occurrence."

    Perhaps not. I am sure there was the, "Don't touch Thag's shit rule" though.

    • Re: (Score:3, Informative)

      by Anonymous Coward

      Which raises the question, was that lost technology?

      FTFY

    • by Anonymous Coward

      Which begs the question, was that lost technology? I don't see Africans using it for the past couple thousand years or anyone else.

      See: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ocotea_bullata

      The mosquito repelling tree in question is 1) also called Stinkwood 2) an overforested species.

    • Re: (Score:3, Informative)

      by VortexCortex (1117377)

      Which begs the question

      You keep using those words.
      I do not think they mean what you think they mean.

      Ah, but what do you care if your contribution to the dilution helps to lose us an important tool to combat logical fallacies? [wikipedia.org]
      You speak of their lost technology, while actively ignoring and destroying your own.

      • by EdIII (1114411) on Friday December 09, 2011 @04:48AM (#38312760)

        Wow.

        Thank You. My informal use of an oft misquoted phrase was inexcusable. I have been shamed sir, and I hereby undertake not to make any such utterances in the future, as it offends all civilized people, bruises fruit, and scares children. I humbly ask your pardon and your continued tolerance of my rampant ignorance.

        Your generous attention to my logical and grammatical failures all the more impressive and deeply moving, since it meant taking you away from the wild parties, Grammar Nazi groupie orgies, and generally, a life of fame, fortune, and excitement to come call me out on the Internets in the middle of the night.

        I shall name my two first born sons (twins god willing) Vortex and Cortex in your honor sir.

        Forever grateful, My I please have another,

        Ed III

        • I can not agree more!

          However to increase your self punishment I allow myself to suggest to order the names of your sons alphabetically: Cortex and Vortex. In case (god forbid!) you get two girls I would suggest Cortexia and Vortyxia as names.

          If you get a girl and a boy, please make sure you only pick one name starting with a V and one name starting with a C ... mind the gender.

      • You can savely assume that "begging the question" and the idiom "This begs the question" are two different things.

        The second term/idiom means: "it (the question) comes to mind". Other languages have similar idioms, e.g. in german: "Dies wirft die Frage auf, ob ..."

      • by b4dc0d3r (1268512)

        Language evolves, I have come to accept. And that is a stupid name for a logical fallacy anyway, especially if you know what the common usage of "begging" is. People say what they have heard, irregardless of how correct it is.

        Informing people is one thing, correcting someone is futile. Here's why. Someone uses a phrase because that's the way they heard or read it. For every person, you have a source and probably several peer audience members who heard/read the same thing. You would have to build a tim

        • Yes, well, no fine, but what the hell does 'irregardless' mean?
          • by EdIII (1114411)

            It means he "mined" his post with grammaticl and spelling traps to get you to post in response.

            In other words.. he created a self-fulfilling prophecy.

            Either that or he is just stoopid.

        • by mcgrew (92797) *

          Informing people is one thing, correcting someone is futile.

          Depends on who the someone is. If I misuse a phrase and someone corrects me, I'm grateful for the lesson; I like to learn.

          Of course, it depends on their tone of "voice".

      • by gstoddart (321705)

        You keep using those words.
        I do not think they mean what you think they mean.

        So do you.

        Look, the reality is when Oxford [oxforddictionaries.com] says "However , over the last 100 years or so another, more general use has arisen: "invite an obvious question" ... This is by far the commonest use today and is the usual one in modern standard English." ... your definition from formal logic is nice and all, but no longer definitive.

        English is a hodge-podge of a bunch of different languages, filled with idioms, and changes over time. Ju

  • by PPH (736903) on Thursday December 08, 2011 @10:57PM (#38311226)

    ... they found the TV remote underneath one.

  • by RandomStr (2116782) on Thursday December 08, 2011 @11:01PM (#38311252)
    So the bed wasn't made from, 3 wool and 3 wood planks?
  • Zog [cavemanchemistry.com]
  • by iggymanz (596061) on Friday December 09, 2011 @12:51AM (#38311890)

    Dr. Wadley today announced an incredible discovery relating to the prehistoric mattresses, each had a protruding leaf with sub-millimeter perforations. These perforations outlined words on the leaves: "Do Not Remove Under Penalty of Law. Tongati River Mattress Works. Composition 35% Sedges, 40% Rushes, 25% Grasses. Machine Wash Cold. Do Not Bleach. Machine Drying May Degrade Flame Retardant, Please Hang Dry".

  • by GodfatherofSoul (174979) on Friday December 09, 2011 @02:01AM (#38312188)

    Believed to depict a woman placing her cold-ass feet on the back of a male sleeping on the same cot.

  • by jd (1658) <imipak&yahoo,com> on Friday December 09, 2011 @04:43AM (#38312746) Homepage Journal

    That's fine and all part of science - learning naturally alters what you know. From that perspective, it's hardly a surprise. Earliest dates for cooking, advanced stone tool making, etc, have been pushed back by far more significant amounts this year. Domestication of horses may also have been much earlier, but for some curious reason the scholars there have... ...declined to release the data. Anyways, I don't regard that part as being particularly news.

    The newsworthy elements to this story:

    * Further evidence of abstract and indirect thinking in early humans, pretty much putting beyond question that these skills existed back then
    * Further evidence of society evolving gradually rather than in big leaps
    * Further evidence that archaeology is massively underfunded given its contributions to understanding of the human condition
    * Further evidence that academics in the field are completely incapable of communicating with each other, as there would otherwise be no surprise

    • So it's a mattress ...right? People sleep and do stuff on them....right? So they test all the shit they find and do some DNA tests ....right? Then they grow one of them ...like in the movie ...right? And bingo....we know what, and where we came from.....right? I mean there has to be some spilt sperm left over.....Right?

  • Perhaps some hominoids go back that far.
  • The article doesn't even say what sleep number the beds were set to.
  • So do 77000 year old africans still respawn there?

I use technology in order to hate it more properly. -- Nam June Paik

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