US Air Force Pays SETI To Check Kepler-22b For Alien Life 301
New submitter iComp writes with this quote from El Reg:
"The Search for Extra Terrestrial Intelligence (SETI) has announced that it is back in business checking out the new [potentially] habitable exoplanets recently discovered by NASA's Kepler space telescope to see if they might be home to alien civilizations. The cash needed to restart SETI's efforts has come in part from the U.S. Air Force Space Command, who are interested in using the organization's detection instruments for 'space situational awareness'."
Space Intruder Detector (Score:4, Funny)
Maintaining scan for UFO's.
"Intruder...alert...U...F...O..."
Does this mean... (Score:5, Funny)
Does this mean I'll finally have a use for my Y2k bunker? If so, I should get busy building it.
USAF looking for new targets... (Score:5, Funny)
Before they're finished blowing up people and things in Afghanistan etc?
Who does the "USAF Space Command" command? (Score:3, Funny)
Do they have a bunch of "Space Marines" ready to jump out of the trunk of the Space Shuttle, like in Moonraker? Or are they working on "Space Warrior Robot Soldiers?" . . . definitely more geekier!
Will our first contact with Alien Life be with military space drones? That ought to work out nice: "Oh, the Alien Military Drones' way of saying they like you, is to bite your Military Space Drone in the ankle!"
Well, I guess I won't have to worry about such contacts happening in my lifetime. Unless we figure out how to surf those faster-than-light-neutrinos.
Or maybe . . . "they" know how to do it?
"Alien Charlie does surf!"
Re:Military the first one, huh? (Score:3, Funny)
. . . our U.S. military, who can't seem to figure peace out on our OWN planet . . .
Peace is not the job of the military. Their job is to fight wars. Peace is the job of politicians and diplomats.
"War is a mere continuation of politics by other means," ("Der Krieg ist eine bloße Fortsetzung der Politik mit anderen Mitteln") -- Carl von Clasewitz
However, when we meet aliens, the politicians and diplomats will base their decisions on intelligence gathered by the military folks. Like, "What are the aliens' true intentions?" Are they secretly lizards who chow down on rats, or are they just passing through the space neighborhood and stopped for a pee-break at the Earth?
Re:Does this mean... (Score:5, Funny)
It's ok, you still have the best part of 89 years to build it.
Re:Who does the "USAF Space Command" command? (Score:5, Funny)
Yeah, right, deep space radar... Maybe Kepler-22b doesn't have a Stargate?
Situational awareness? (Score:5, Funny)
I imagined a conversation about "situational awareness" during the Iraq war going something like this:
General: So, what's the situation?
Advisor: Sir! In the 15th century, the Aztecs defeated Azcapotzalco, sir!
General: Excellent!
In other news... (Score:5, Funny)
Apple quietly got a grant from the U.S. Air Force Space Command to develop a virus for 'space-craft defensive measures'...
Re:Jill Tarter (Score:5, Funny)
Yes, but did she look like
According to Google image search, a young Jodi Foster.
Re:Does this mean... (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Finally! (Score:5, Funny)
You'll end up just as jaded as you are here on Earth. All I see is Orange, Greenette, Purplehead...
Re:Who does the "USAF Space Command" command? (Score:2, Funny)
Well, from watching the declassified space documentary, "Stargate SG-1" they command a moderate size fleet of intergalactic-capable starships integrated with alien technology. They also regularly travel to other planets using an ancient alien device that creates wormholes.
Re:HAnd how will they know that ? (Score:5, Funny)
If they looked our way today, they would have front-row seats to the rise of the Ottoman empire.
Front row seats? If I had front row tickets to a concert, and they seated me 600 light years away, I'd be pissed. Unless it was a Disaster Area [wikia.com] concert. Or Justin Bieber.
Re:nice...sub orbital hypersonic missile tracker. (Score:5, Funny)
"the USAF wants to track sub orbital cruise missiles..."
I'd say that the discovery of sub-orbital missiles on Kepler-22b would be a pretty damn good indication of alien life. Intelligent? Not so much.
Re:Space Intruder Detector (Score:5, Funny)
Plus the aliens could be funding an Al Qaeda base there or have Space Oi- Ahem, I mean Weapons of Mass Interstellar Destruction. Can't let those space-terrorists go undetected!
Re:Oblig. (Score:5, Funny)
We may finally achieve the dreams of our ancient ancestors, who gazed up at the stars and thought, "I wonder if there are any bangable chicks up there?"
Re:Military the first one, huh? (Score:5, Funny)
That stupid phalanx killed three of my tanks so I am not so sure about this.