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FBI Releases Document Confirming Roswell UFO 481

Posted by samzenpus
from the I-want-to-believe dept.
schwit1 writes "An investigator for the Air Force stated that three so-called flying saucers had been recovered in New Mexico. They were described as circular in shape with raised centers approximately 50 feet in diameter. Each one was occupied by three bodies of human shape, but only 3 feet tall dressed in metallic clothing of very fine texture."

*

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FBI Releases Document Confirming Roswell UFO

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  • by Frosty Piss (770223) * on Sunday April 10, 2011 @12:36PM (#35774444)
    Last noises heard from dying aliens: "Ack, ack, ack..."
    • by thomasdz (178114) on Sunday April 10, 2011 @12:42PM (#35774494)

      Last noises heard from dying aliens: "Ack, ack, ack..."

      So the aliens either were trying to speak TCP/IP or they were related to Bloom County's "Bill the cat"?
      (or was somebody playing cowboy yodeling music somewhere near the crash site?)

      • Um.... bill says "ack...............phhhhhhhhtttt!"

        I understand he disappeared shortly after getting a job as a nuclear power plant operator in the glorious people's republic of the Ukraine.

        • Re:Last words... (Score:4, Interesting)

          by LifesABeach (234436) on Sunday April 10, 2011 @01:32PM (#35774786)
          Past primitive human culture's ability to survive, after meeting in some way, an advanced culture when it takes its first crap, is pretty dismal. I can not help but think what it would be like for Leif Erikson [wikipedia.org] vs. Princess Cruise Lines [princess.com] at the port of Port of Akureyri, Iceland, [www.port.is] what the outcome would be.

          "What's in your wallet?" - Capital One, 2009
          • Actually, that was only true when the "discoverers" survived the encounter. There are even more recorded cases of when they did not, and the "primitive" tribes continued to live in peace until they were later "discovered" again.

            Further, the worst cases of "primitive" societal carnage happened when the natives thought the discoverers were gods. But even that was not universally fatal to the "primitive" culture. Take Captain Cook for example. The natives thought he was a god at first, but then he royally p
            • Re:Last words... (Score:4, Insightful)

              by Phoghat (1288088) <palladin68000@gmail.com> on Monday April 11, 2011 @07:45AM (#35779894)

              Um.... bill says "ack...............phhhhhhhhttt

              Last noises heard from dying aliens: "Ack, ack, ack..."

              On a slightly more serious note, no one here seems to be taking this even a little bit seriously ( and no, I'm not new here) It seems to me that this is the first acknowledgement by the government that the "Roswell Incident" was something real. That an actual alien craft was involved. No weather balloon, experimental Russian or American aircraft or anything else.

      • http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0116996/trivia [imdb.com]

        The writers weren't sure what the Martians should sound like so the script read "ack, ack, ack, ack" for all of their lines of dialogue. This became the actual words spoken by the Martians in the film.

    • by Ekhymosis (949557) on Sunday April 10, 2011 @12:56PM (#35774590) Homepage

      Last noises heard from dying aliens: "Ack, ack, ack..."

      No no, the last words heard were: "Khaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnn!!!!"

    • Last noises heard from dying aliens: "Ack, ack, ack..."

      So they're like... related to Bill the Cat? I mean, surely... not? Bill was nothing but a collection of hairballs...

    • by Daimanta (1140543)

      Woo, no packet loss!

  • Questions. (Score:5, Interesting)

    by webmistressrachel (903577) on Sunday April 10, 2011 @12:40PM (#35774470) Journal

    This raises more questions than answers. For a start, this really is on vault.fbi.gov servers, so either it's real or a VERY risky hoax.

    However, assuming it's real for now, WHY HAS THIS NOT LEAD TO A FLURRY OF OTHER EVIDENCE FROM ELSEWHERE?

    Clearly the mask is off now? The government know about saucers, otherwise there wouldn't be such a casual write-off at the end of the doc.

    So were they short Russians? Germans who found it in a barn after WWII and got it working? COME ON FBI, do your jobs and give us a proper INVESTIGATION!

    • Re:Questions. (Score:5, Informative)

      by ZosX (517789) <zosxavius@gmTWAINail.com minus author> on Sunday April 10, 2011 @12:43PM (#35774502) Homepage

      http://www.abovetopsecret.com/forum/thread685706/pg1 [abovetopsecret.com]

      Did some more research.... apparently this was declassified in the 70s and published in several books from that time. I don't know how much I would read into it.

    • by hduff (570443)

      Clearly the mask is off now? The government know about saucers, otherwise there wouldn't be such a casual write-off at the end of the doc.So were they short Russians? Germans who found it in a barn after WWII and got it working?

      Obviously, they were midget meteorologists in weather balloons.

    • Re:Questions. (Score:5, Insightful)

      by wonkavader (605434) on Sunday April 10, 2011 @01:06PM (#35774656)

      Webmistressrachel, what this document says is that an FBI agent interviewed someone who heard a rumor.

      They did that a lot. They should be many, many documents just like this one, all mutually contradictory. It's to be expected.

      • Re:Questions. (Score:5, Insightful)

        by CharlyFoxtrot (1607527) on Sunday April 10, 2011 @01:40PM (#35774834)

        When I was young I thought there might be something to stories like these, then I grew up and realized that many people are doped up, drunk, compulsive liars or completely bat-shit insane. And some are all of those, all the time.

        • by DamonHD (794830) <d@hd.org> on Sunday April 10, 2011 @01:45PM (#35774856) Homepage

          That's no way to speak of our elected representatives.

          Rgds

          Damon

        • by binkzz (779594)

          When I was young I thought there might be something to stories like these, then I grew up and realized that many people are doped up, drunk, compulsive liars or completely bat-shit insane. And some are all of those, all the time.

          Even sane people misremember (a lot), and eyewitness stories [heinonline.org], especially over time, can change. What people forget or can't remember but have some importance in remembering, they often confabulate [wikipedia.org] - but still believe they are actually memories. People with Alzheimers do this a lot,

          • Even sane people misremember (a lot), and eyewitness stories [heinonline.org], especially over time, can change. What people forget or can't remember but have some importance in remembering, they often confabulate [wikipedia.org] - but still believe they are actually memories. People with Alzheimers do this a lot, and can create the appearance to outsiders that they don't have Alzheimers at all.

            When I was studying I had an acquaintance who when you told him a story would later retell the story as if it had happened to him. Once he did this using an anecdote I had told him not 30 minutes before and as far as I could tell he was 100% serious and unaware of what he was doing. I hope in his case it was the weed but even sober he was a bit "off".

    • Re:Questions. (Score:5, Informative)

      by Chris Burke (6130) on Sunday April 10, 2011 @01:17PM (#35774710) Homepage

      If there's one time to ever RTFA, it's when it's a government document supposedly admitting UFOs of the flying-saucer variety exist and were found near Roswell.

      Turns out this isn't that. It's the FBI noting that some dude claimed that two 50-foot saucers landed near Roswell because the nearby radar station disrupted their control mechanisms, and then doing nothing.

      "Disrupted by the radar you say? Ah of course. And where are these saucers? Oh they've mysteriously vanished since you saw them the night of the full moon. Got it. Thank you, citizen. We'll definitely look into that -- might be the Russians you know."

      Only other thing to say is -- good job, submitter. Made me look.

    • COME ON FBI, do your jobs and give us a proper INVESTIGATION!

      "After performing a rigorous investigation, he have determined that an investigator for the Air Force did, in fact, state that three so-called flying saucers had been recovered in New Mexico."

    • " However, assuming it's real for now, WHY HAS THIS NOT LEAD TO A FLURRY OF OTHER EVIDENCE FROM ELSEWHERE? "

      Already has already happened, many times. For example, respected and not discredited Retired Colonel Philip J. Corso exposed his part in this. But there is a group of crackpot disbelievers who just can't accept the truth, and just keep repeating the same nonsense like "if this were true someone would have leaked it" no matter how many times people do try to leak and expose it.

    • What the document says is "there is this guy who says he saw flying saucers" - that doesn't really prove anything.
      Hell there are constantly people who say they've seen flying saucers.

    • by osu-neko (2604)

      However, assuming it's real for now, WHY HAS THIS NOT LEAD TO A FLURRY OF OTHER EVIDENCE FROM ELSEWHERE?

      Because, if you read the document in question, there's no reason to suspect it's not real, nor to think it would lead to other evidence, because all the document says is that someone said there were flying saucers in New Mexico. This is not an incredible claim, nor is it something we don't already know. Lots of people have said there were flying saucers in New Mexico. We knew that before the FBI provided written proof that someone said it. This doesn't "lead" anywhere since it's nothing we didn't alread

    • >For a start, this really is on vault.fbi.gov servers, so either it's real or a VERY risky hoax.

      Maybe start by thinking it through for a second. The investigator took a statement from an Air Force officer, nothing more. At the bottom they recommended no further investigation, which tells me the subject didn't have any proof and the investigator didn't really buy it. If you have to drive all the way from the nearest field office to Roswell, you have to put something in the report.

      I've worked with a

  • Riiiiiight (Score:5, Insightful)

    by DurendalMac (736637) on Sunday April 10, 2011 @12:40PM (#35774474)
    The document almost makes it sound like hearsay. It says an investigator stated that, but then goes on to say that it was provided by an informant. Doesn't sound terribly sound, and it says that no further investigation was done, which probably means that the FBI had a good laugh about it and then filed it away.
    • Re:Riiiiiight (Score:5, Interesting)

      by ThunderBird89 (1293256) <zalanmeggyesi@@@yahoo...com> on Sunday April 10, 2011 @12:53PM (#35774568)

      Agreed, this is only a filing of the report, no follow-up. It's customary in every law enforcement organisation to file every report, no matter how stupid. Hell, I've heard about the police filing a report by a guy claiming every evening, after the news ran, the newscasters came out of his TV set, and beat him. No investigation was done, naturally, but the report had to be filed, as the SOP went.

      Just another sensationalist samzenpus headline, it would seem...

      • by _0xd0ad (1974778)

        Agreed, this is only a filing of the report, no follow-up. It's customary in every law enforcement organisation to file every report, no matter how stupid.

        No, it isn't just a "filing of the report". It's a memo to the Director of the FBI informing him of the report that they received.

        Granted that they do have to file something on every report they receive, I'd still presume that they don't send a memo to the FBI director every time some crackpot reports seeing UFOs.

      • by nixman99 (518480)
        Agreed, this is only a filing of the report, no follow-up. It's customary in every law enforcement organisation to file every report, no matter how stupid. Hell, I've heard about the police filing a report by a guy claiming every evening, after the news ran, the newscasters came out of his TV set, and beat him.

        Why the hell did he keep watching the news each night?
    • by magarity (164372)

      which probably means that the FBI had a good laugh about it and then filed it away.

      No, in the 40's it was still thought that Venus was probably inhabitable (ever read Heinlein's Future History?), and maybe Mars too, so the FBI guys probably were scared witless over a pending invasion.

    • by dsheeks (65644) on Sunday April 10, 2011 @01:57PM (#35774922) Homepage

      Oh come on, you obviously don't understand anything about proper conspiracy theory analysis. Obviously no further investigation was done because it was covered up. That fact alone (no further investigation) absolutely proves without a shadow of a doubt that the report was true and that aliens were found, taken to be autopsied, and that the autopsy findings were ultimately linked directly to the Kennedy assassination. Boy oh boy oh boy oh boy... what's become of the Slashdot commenters these days...

  • Hearsay (Score:5, Informative)

    by Anonymous Coward on Sunday April 10, 2011 @12:41PM (#35774482)

    The document is a report outlining another individual's report. It's neither admission nor documentation of the incident by the FBI, just a record that someone has made a statement about the incident. It's worthless.

    • by sjames (1099)

      Yes, these documents are absolute proof that someone claimed he saw a UFO. I suppose if there was a government conspiracy to deny the existence of UFO reports, this might mean something. :-)

    • by trifish (826353)

      someone has made a statement about the incident. It's worthless.

      Someone? Except that the someone was an official investigator (eye witness) giving testimony to an FBI agent (another credible party). That's world of a difference if you ask me.

  • Just when I'm watching DS9 this comes up. AWESOME! This doesn't actually prove that there WERE actual aliens, only confirms of the original report which could just as well be bogus.

    I HOPE IT IS NOT. I want me an Asgard friend* and one of those computers that lets me build what I want!

    * Everyone knows that Slashdotters have no friends.

    • by Needlzor (1197267)
      Unless they somehow discover youtube and thus decide to destroy us all. I know I wouldn't blame them !
    • I have friends. My Mom said so and I believe her.

      • by corbettw (214229)

        Your mom's not a trustworthy source. After all, she told me she was clean and I still wound up with the clap.

    • by isorox (205688)

      Just when I'm watching DS9 this comes up. AWESOME! This doesn't actually prove that there WERE actual aliens, only confirms of the original report which could just as well be bogus.

      I HOPE IT IS NOT. I want me an Asgard friend* and one of those computers that lets me build what I want!

      * Everyone knows that Slashdotters have no friends.

      Ferengi == DS9
      Asgard == SG1

  • by betterunixthanunix (980855) on Sunday April 10, 2011 @12:46PM (#35774520)
    Wow, I have been spending way too much time coding. I completely lost track of the date!
  • obligatory (Score:5, Funny)

    by austinpoet (789122) on Sunday April 10, 2011 @12:46PM (#35774522) Homepage

    does the document detail whether the base did, after all, belong to them?

  • by lscotte (450259) on Sunday April 10, 2011 @12:47PM (#35774526)

    Read the article carefully - it neither denies nor confirms anything. This is a report documenting what an informant said, and does not suggest any first hand knowledge about anything...

  • by BlindRobin (768267) on Sunday April 10, 2011 @12:47PM (#35774528)
    Is just how did Obama manage this from Kenya BEFORE hes was born, I bet Glen knows...
    • by zill (1690130)
      Too bad the aliens removed him from Fox. Now we may never know the truth.
    • by Dr. Spork (142693)
      Duh, Obama is an alien who came to Earth to get revenge for his fallen Muslim space-communist comrades, so cruelly attacked by that American radar installation. Why do you think he is hiding his birth certificate? It's because he was born in space! Isn't it clear that he's here to destroy our planet, or at least prepare it for alien colonization?
  • Dwarf test pilots (Score:5, Informative)

    by mkraft (200694) on Sunday April 10, 2011 @12:56PM (#35774586)
    The document says "so-called flying saucers" with 3 foot tall human shaped bodies wearing test pilot guard, No where does it say "aliens" in the document. They were obviously dwarf test pilots.
    • No bodies, no story.

      No story, no UFO industry.

      No UFO industry, no Roswell.

      Therefore by staying home, space aliens have destroyed Roswell, New Mexico. I get it now.

    • Re:Dwarf test pilots (Score:5, Interesting)

      by Peet42 (904274) <Peet42.Netscape@net> on Sunday April 10, 2011 @02:11PM (#35774998)
      Actually, you're not so far off one of the more interesting "oddball" theories.

      Lets assume that something happened. There was a communication blackout, the local undertaker was asked to provide three child-sized coffins and thereafter the Army Air Force claim that nothing happened.

      The "oddball" theory is that a scaled-down test plane, manned by children crashed in the desert. Can you imagine the US Government ever admitting to that?
    • by lennier (44736)

      They were obviously dwarf test pilots.

      But don''t you see, that's the real coverup here!

      What effect will our dealings with dwarves have on US diplomatic relations with the Rivendell Elves?

  • by Joe The Dragon (967727) on Sunday April 10, 2011 @01:00PM (#35774620)

    call Agent Mulder !

  • Suspicious timing (Score:5, Interesting)

    by Livius (318358) on Sunday April 10, 2011 @01:02PM (#35774630)

    The problem with the Roswell folklore has always been that the story completely went away until the point in time when, coincidentally, the actual witnesses had died of old age.

    • With the high prices of gasoline, it looks as if Roswell is getting desperate for tourists.

      If they want to save their industry, they need to hurry up and find the bodies. Lack of bodies clear demonstrates that the entire thing is a scam, but hey that pretty well sums up business practices in the US these days.

  • ...that somebody at the FBI has a sense of humor?

  • Yeah, that was an aprils fool guys.

  • 1 - If any government comes into possession of unknown advanced technology gaining a (military/economic) advantage over other's, they will hide it, make it top secret, obscure it and take any measures to keep it that way.

    2 - Considering the number of existing suns and planets of known galaxies, one can be 100 % sure that there are other advanced civilizations far older than the 0.4 - 1.5 M years since human-like species on this planet have used fire.

    3 - Would a more advanced species even bother to deal
  • my personal theory (Score:4, Insightful)

    by jollyreaper (513215) on Sunday April 10, 2011 @01:15PM (#35774696)

    Area 51 is chock full of advanced but terrestrial technology. The government leaks this stuff seemingly confirming UFO's or half-assed and inadequate cover stories just to stir up conspiracy nuts. You tell someone you saw strange things in the sky over Groom Lake, people will smile and twirl their fingers in circles beside their heads.

    I think the odds of alien life in this universe are very good; I think the odds for intelligent life are also good. But unless there's some lovely scifi physics waiting out there for us, space travel seems like it'll be awfully damned expensive and complicated. And little green men in flying saucers seems a little too -- how should I put it --- mundane? Too mundane for an interstellar alien intelligence.

    When you consider that in light of the cheesy denials, it seems like it's not just paranoids getting worked up over nothing, it looks like the government is egging them on. Therefore my theory of using aliens to cover for the real secrets.

  • Two documentaries explaining why those aliens will never contact us First Contact [vimeo.com] and They Are Made Out of Meat [atom.com].
  • Is it a coincidence that the last modified date on the PDF is March 31?

    You know... as in the day before April Fools?

    If that were the case, I'd be even more scared... who would have thought the FBI had a sense of humour?

  • Samzenpus, I'm filtering your articles. This is ten levels of stupid.

  • Man, you guys never get news stories out in a timely manner, this one is 9 days old!
  • Where are the bodies?

    • > Where are the bodies?

      They vanished mysteriously from a locked and guarded room along with all the other evidence. That proves that aliens were involved.

  • by Greyfox (87712) on Sunday April 10, 2011 @02:18PM (#35775042) Homepage Journal
    I'm not buying into the idea that some super-advanced alien race would defeat the speed of light somehow and then immediately use that technology to travel millions of light years just to give some pink barely-evolved half-monkeys anal probes. Every report can be explained away as hoax, government experimental test aircraft or some guy in a trailer park not wanting to admit that his anal probe came from his neighbor, not some alien species.
    • by DarkOx (621550)

      I am not buying the idea that the most advanced nation state the earth has even seen would pay farmers to grow surpluses of grain and then literally destroy the a portion of the harvest to support prices. Oh wait that happens...

      There was a Kids in the Hall sketch that addressed the issue of why they come and probe. The punch line was that intergalactic anal probing puts allot of people to work...

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