Don't Cross the LHC Stream! (Maybe) 171
jamie points out this piece from always-entertaining Bad Astronomer Phil Plait, who asks this week the simple question "What happens if you put your hand in the beam of the Large Hadron Collider?" The thrill of discovery to me doesn't sound worth the worst-case scenario.
Simple (Score:4, Funny)
You get a built-in tool that makes it easier to masturbate.
Sounds like a job for the Mythbusters (Score:5, Funny)
They'd just stick a pig foot in there.
Re:Mythbusters (Score:3, Funny)
And then when nothing happens, they'll repeat the experiment with 10kg of TNT strapped to the pig.
Come on, it's what they do in *every* episode.
Re:Don't cross any high-energy streams, definitely (Score:5, Funny)
Moral of the story - avoid high energy beams regardless of the wavelength or the particle kind because you never know what will slip by even in a supposedly "safe" circumstances.
Incorrect. Moral of the story: Do not look into laser with remaining eye.
Re:Simple (Score:3, Funny)
Here is an explanation of the LHC.
http://www.audioguy.co.uk/6092 [audioguy.co.uk]
Just stumbled across it, had to post.
Re:Simple (Score:2, Funny)
"What happens if you put your hand in the beam of the Large Hadron Collider?"
You become famous for about 2.48154 nano seconds as the origin of the end of the universe.
Re:Already happened before (Score:5, Funny)
Yes, but in a different dimension.
But it's a pretty lousy superpower. I understand that he can now guess anyone's weight just by talking to them on the phone.
That's my worst nightmare: I get a superpower, but it's something completely lame and useless, even for picking up chicks.
"After his mishap with the LHC, he was able to perform extreme card tricks!"
That would be my luck.
Reminds me of a joke... (Score:5, Funny)
"That's sick!" replies his wife. "You need help."
"I don't see any reason it would be sick", retorts the man, "I think it would be fun!"
Two days later, his wife comes home from an errand, and her husbands car is in the driveway. "You're home early", she says.
"Yes, I put my penis in the pickle slicer!" he smiles.
"Oh my God!", gasps his wife, "What happened?"
"I got fired! So did she!"
Re:total energy in the beam equals 173 kilograms T (Score:1, Funny)
That's bad. OK, all right, important safety tip. Thanks, Egon!
Re:Mythbusters (Score:4, Funny)
Come on, it's what they do in *every* episode.
You almost say it like it's a bad thing.
Re:Sounds like a job for the Mythbusters (Score:2, Funny)
Prolly not such a good idea.
They'd blow the whole thing up in the end.
Re:It would be bad (Score:3, Funny)
Glad to know I'm not the only one fuzzy on the whole good / bad thing.
Somebody tell him about the twinkie.
Re:Already happened before (Score:4, Funny)
To be fair, you obviously haven't visited the Pacific Northwest. Sonar is the appropriate measuring method 10 months of the year.
Re:Simple (Score:3, Funny)
If you needed three hands to masturbate .... you wouldn't need to masturbate!