Microwave Pain Ray Keeps Frost From Killing Crops 278
An anonymous reader writes "Philip K. Dick's novella Project Plowshare was set in a world where deadly new weapons are 'plowshared' into consumer products. A few years after that book was set, defense giant Raytheon is spinning its raygun-like Active Denial System from a weapon into an agricultural tool to prevent frost from damaging citrus and grape crops."
Okay... (Score:5, Funny)
Popcorn (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Popcorn (Score:5, Funny)
Does corn grow well on hills(?) because I, for one, volunteer for summer popcorn 'snow'boarding patrol.
New slogans for new applications (Score:4, Funny)
Some such rubbish was spouted about civilian application of nuclear technology (which also started as a weapon).
Or more realistically, how about private & city lands covered in helpful signs like:
"Keep off the grass. Violators may experience discomfort or agony!"
"Keep out. Or else."
Pirate Defense System, perhaps . . . ? (Score:5, Funny)
Maybe this "Active Denial System" could be deployed on ships to ward off Somalian pirates? I mean, deploy a series of these around the perimeter of the deck of the ship, so the crew doesn't actually need to aim them, just flip a switch. This would create a "ring of pain" around the ship. The crew can be holed up in their safe room.
First Mate: "Captain! There's pirates off the starboard bow!"
Captain: "All hands to the safe room!"
In the safe room . . .
Captain: "Now let me read the instructions. Set power to 1000 W. Cook until pirates have fled. Cooking times will very depending on how tough or tender the pirates are.
Meanwhile, back at the pirate cove . . .
Pirate #1: "How was your pirating today?"
Pirate #2: "Terrible, I am like totally fried . . . "
Unfunny Comedian: "Thank you! Tip the veal, try the waitress . . ."
Re:why do people work for Raytheon? (Score:1, Funny)
Re:Pirate Defense System, perhaps . . . ? (Score:5, Funny)
Pirates (before device is switched on): Arrrrrrrr!
Pirates (after device is switched on): ARGH!
Re:Because they aren't idealistic hippies? (Score:3, Funny)
Bah! The weapons developers are no better than those Jews whose government invaded poland.
Re:Arrest him already (Score:3, Funny)
Apparently you don't know Jack.
Re:why do people work for Raytheon? (Score:2, Funny)
Re:why do people work for Raytheon? (Score:3, Funny)
And if you don't, we'll keep bringing it to you until you do.