Sudden Demand For Logicians On Wall Street 525
An anonymous reader writes "In an unexpected development for the depressed market for mathematical logicians, Wall Street has begun quietly and aggressively recruiting proof theorists and recursion theorists for their expertise in applying ordinal notations and ordinal collapsing functions to high-frequency algorithmic trading. Ordinal notations, which specify sequences of ordinal numbers of ever increasing complexity, are being used by elite trading operations to parameterize families of trading strategies of breathtaking sophistication. The monetary advantage of the current strategy is rapidly exhausted after a lifetime of approximately four seconds — an eternity for a machine, but barely enough time for a human to begin to comprehend what happened. The algorithm then switches to another trading strategy of higher ordinal rank, and uses this for a few seconds on one or more electronic exchanges, and so on, while opponent algorithms attempt the same maneuvers, risking billions of dollars in the process."
Zeno just called (Score:5, Funny)
Re:If HFT wasn't bad enough (Score:3, Funny)
It's like solving a problem by making it worse.
The technical term is "Wallstreeting".
As in "Hey did you read about Tiger Woods Wallstreeting his marriage the other day?" or "Damn! I'm Wallstreeted".
Re:Well at least... (Score:5, Funny)
But wealth trickles down! That's why we need to lower taxes!
Disclaimer: That's a funny, not a troll.
Re:oh goodie, business majors now in charge of cod (Score:4, Funny)
Maybe you should take a few books as well, or better, read them before you move.
Also, be careful with your eyeglasses. If you dropped them, it just wouldn't be fair when you finally had time enough to read.
Re:Well at least... (Score:3, Funny)
If we can simply survive another decade the bullshit will reach critical mass, and gravitationally collapse! Then all we have to do is feed lawyers, politicians, and banker into it with sufficient angular momentum, and we should have a nearly infinite source of energy.
Gold, Women, Sheep. (Score:3, Funny)
John Slattery for Prescott Financial urges you to diversify your gold portfolio with women and sheep [colbertnation.com].
What the headline *should* have been ... (Score:1, Funny)
Sudden Demand For Common Sense On Wall Street
Re:And the moral is: (Score:1, Funny)
If you're still worried, buy canned food, ammunition, and land in New Zealand.
But not Australia. I think we've all seen Mad Max...
Re:Well at least... (Score:1, Funny)
Re:The markets need to be forcibly civilized. (Score:3, Funny)
What is the purpose of the stock markets? Are they meant to be a video game played by A.I.'s for big cash prizes, or a way of facilitating investment and trade?
Well, everybody knows that the botters and the Chinese are the richest players, next of course to the American folks that exploit them ;-)
Re:Well at least... (Score:3, Funny)
Yes, fusion power is always about a decade away...