Physicists Do What Einstein Thought Impossible

Physicists Do What Einstein Thought Impossible 193

Posted by Soulskill on Monday May 24, 2010 @03:06PM from the i'm-not-sure-he-cares-anymore dept.

An anonymous reader writes "Einstein worked on Brownian motion (the movement of small particles in a fluid as they collide with the fluid's molecules) in 1905, but said it would be 'impossible' to determine the speed and direction of a single particle during this dance. Now researchers have gone and done it, by suspending a dust-sized glass sphere in air (which slowed down its dance moves, since it had fewer collisions with spaced-out air molecules than it would have had with water molecules). The researchers held the sphere in place with 'laser chopsticks,' and then watched how the glass bead bounced around to determine its direction and speed (abstract)."

Physicists Do What Einstein Thought Impossible

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Magic words... (Score:5, Funny)

by fahrbot-bot ( 874524 ) writes: on Monday May 24, 2010 @03:08PM (#32327162)

You had me at "laser chopsticks".

Infinite Improbability Drive (Score:5, Funny)

by natehoy ( 1608657 ) writes: on Monday May 24, 2010 @03:10PM (#32327178) Journal

How will the Infinite Improbability Drive work now? It depended on Brownian motion. Now probability can never come off 1:1 and it'll never work!
We must discover time travel immediately so we can go back and stop these researchers immediately! I mean, sooner!
Tomorrow is Towel Day! We cannot allow a travesty like this to stand.

But is it infinitely improbable? (Score:4, Funny)

by wiredog ( 43288 ) writes: on Monday May 24, 2010 @03:10PM (#32327182) Journal

In the way that a nice cup of tea is?

Re:Magic words... (Score:5, Funny)

by vandoravp ( 709954 ) writes: on Monday May 24, 2010 @03:13PM (#32327226) Homepage

"Laser chopsticks" sounds way cooler than "optical tweezer" from TFAbstract. They should've gone with that in the paper.

Re:To avoid confusion (Score:1, Funny)

by Anonymous Coward writes: on Monday May 24, 2010 @03:14PM (#32327252)

No, "Laser Chopsticks" were invented so that sharks with frickin' laser beams could eat their sushi without all that chasing and chomping.

Re:Magic words... (Score:5, Funny)

by infinite9 ( 319274 ) writes: on Monday May 24, 2010 @03:15PM (#32327268)

Laser chopsticks suck. They keep cooking your sushi before you can get it to your mouth.

Re:Magic words... (Score:5, Funny)

by Yvan256 ( 722131 ) writes: on Monday May 24, 2010 @03:16PM (#32327284) Homepage Journal

Bhey alfo burn your mouf.

Re:Magic words... (Score:4, Funny)

by Tetsujin ( 103070 ) writes: on Monday May 24, 2010 @03:16PM (#32327286) Homepage Journal

You had me at "laser chopsticks".
Interesting... How do you suppose laser chopsticks would compare to, say, a laser spanner, or a sonic screwdriver?

What an idiot (Score:5, Funny)

by ayahner ( 696000 ) writes: on Monday May 24, 2010 @03:22PM (#32327380)

Ha. Einstein. What an idiot.

Re:Keep in mind (Score:5, Funny)

by noidentity ( 188756 ) writes: on Monday May 24, 2010 @03:30PM (#32327464)

"In 1907, Einstein likely did not foresee a time when dust-sized particles of glass could be trapped and suspended in air by dual laser beam "optical tweezers.""
I'm sorry but: No freaking shit. In 1907 I doubt many people would have foreseen that

Warning: Do not attempt to foresee any more laser-related developments with remaining eye.

This Einstein Fella is a Hack (Score:5, Funny)

by PatTheGreat ( 956344 ) writes: on Monday May 24, 2010 @03:31PM (#32327480) Homepage

This Einstein fella - I keep on hearing about how he's been proven wrong or might be proven wrong or how people are picking his ideas apart. It's like he hasn't even SEEN a modern physics paper in like, the last 50 years.

Re:To avoid confusion (Score:1, Funny)

by Anonymous Coward writes: on Monday May 24, 2010 @03:31PM (#32327482)

How did this get modded "insightful"? It's a joke, you idiots.

Re:New unit of size.... (Score:5, Funny)

by misosoup7 ( 1673306 ) writes: on Monday May 24, 2010 @03:40PM (#32327602)

Since when is 'dust' a unit of size?
Since they made chopsticks out of monochromatic light.

Re:Magic words... (Score:3, Funny)

by Anonymous Coward writes: on Monday May 24, 2010 @04:07PM (#32327946)

Laser chopsticks! It dices, cut, cooks and fries! Call now and receive a free shark!
Made in China!

Re:Magic words... (Score:5, Funny)

by Anonymous Coward writes: on Monday May 24, 2010 @04:17PM (#32328076)

You typed that with your mouth?!
Ouch!

Re:Magic words... (Score:5, Funny)

by 0100010001010011 ( 652467 ) writes: on Monday May 24, 2010 @04:23PM (#32328182)

Do not look at chopstick with remaining eye.

Re:This Einstein Fella is a Hack (Score:5, Funny)

by ImprovOmega ( 744717 ) writes: on Monday May 24, 2010 @04:27PM (#32328244)

Yeah, and when was the last time he published anything? I doubt he'll make tenure at this rate.

Re:This doesn't break the uncertainty principle. (Score:4, Funny)

by mortonda ( 5175 ) writes: on Monday May 24, 2010 @04:30PM (#32328284)

It's merely confirming something else Einstein said: the universe is not only stranger than we imagine, it's stranger than we can imagine.
I don't know.... Einstein might want to revise that statement... he never had a chance to try to follow Lost [imdb.com]

Re:Magic words... (Score:4, Funny)

by Hurricane78 ( 562437 ) writes: <deleted @ s l a s h dot.org> on Monday May 24, 2010 @04:39PM (#32328408)

Then the eyes caught fire.
And the fire caught your hair.
Until the firefighters caught your smoldering remains in a urn.
Now it’s your turn. ;)

Re:Magic words... (Score:4, Funny)

by clarkkent09 ( 1104833 ) * writes: on Monday May 24, 2010 @04:43PM (#32328470)

Master Miyagi: Man who catch dust-sized glass sphere with laser chopsticks accomplish anything.

Re:Keep in mind (Score:5, Funny)

by Ossifer ( 703813 ) writes: on Monday May 24, 2010 @04:49PM (#32328584)

Looking at pictures of Einstein, I don't think he knew what "tweezers" meant...

Re:What an idiot (Score:5, Funny)

by RichardJenkins ( 1362463 ) writes: on Monday May 24, 2010 @04:55PM (#32328668)

Yeah he's no Einstein, that's for sure.

Re:Magic words... (Score:5, Funny)

by treeves ( 963993 ) writes: on Monday May 24, 2010 @05:54PM (#32329310) Homepage Journal

Fire-breathing Dragon Naturally Speaking!

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Physicists Do What Einstein Thought Impossible 193

Physicists Do What Einstein Thought Impossible More Login

Physicists Do What Einstein Thought Impossible

Magic words... (Score:5, Funny)

Infinite Improbability Drive (Score:5, Funny)

But is it infinitely improbable? (Score:4, Funny)

Re:Magic words... (Score:5, Funny)

Re:To avoid confusion (Score:1, Funny)

Re:Magic words... (Score:5, Funny)

Re:Magic words... (Score:5, Funny)

Re:Magic words... (Score:4, Funny)

What an idiot (Score:5, Funny)

Re:Keep in mind (Score:5, Funny)

This Einstein Fella is a Hack (Score:5, Funny)

Re:To avoid confusion (Score:1, Funny)

Re:New unit of size.... (Score:5, Funny)

Re:Magic words... (Score:3, Funny)

Re:Magic words... (Score:5, Funny)

Re:Magic words... (Score:5, Funny)

Re:This Einstein Fella is a Hack (Score:5, Funny)

Re:This doesn't break the uncertainty principle. (Score:4, Funny)

Re:Magic words... (Score:4, Funny)

Re:Magic words... (Score:4, Funny)

Re:Keep in mind (Score:5, Funny)

Re:What an idiot (Score:5, Funny)

Re:Magic words... (Score:5, Funny)

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